Why do I often find myself attracted to women who work somewhere I am a customer at?

[E-Squared]

This is something that I have noticed for a while and I don't understand this. In relation to a past thread that I did in regards to a crush on a waitress, this is kind of the subject here.

 

First of all, I can say that I am friendly with a waitress because I am a semi-regular at this restaurant that I like to go to and I even also go to said restaurant even on days when she isn't working because I actually like the food there.

 

However, I have had my moments of feeling attracted to women who work at Gamestop or even in the past, a comic book store. I am aware that the employee has to be kind and courteous at their job.

 

I try my best to be a respectful customer at all times and I never fail at it. I am not one of those customers who hits on the employees.

 

Although the closest to me actually being somewhat successful was when I briefly dated a bus driver a long time ago. We still remain rather friendly know, if friends.

 

I ask myself why this happens to me. I tell myself that the women are nice because it's their job. Of course, it's not impossible if an employee were to have a legitimate interest, but I try not to bet on it.

 

Can someone help me with this?

[preraph]

Yes, of course it is their job to be nice to customers. However this doesn't automatically mean they can't also think you're nice. The reason this keeps happening is because people in retail have to reach out to customers as part of their job. You can meet interesting people this way. I met so many of my current friends 30 years ago working in retail. Even a shy person will be more approachable if it's their job to be welcoming. So this makes it easy for you to talk to them.

 

The key is to talk to them and see if they only talk business or if they get a little personal. If they seem happy to see you after you've chatted them up, then that's good. If they seem to disappear when you arrive, that means they don't want to deal with you and will let someone else do it. So just go ahead and be nice and see if they are nice back or avoid you.

[mario_C]

Employers for customer service positions want fresh faced, energetic young people out front so customers will want to come in and spend money. Those people are sexy! And frankly, employers put sexy people out front to lure in sad sacks like us. It's not an accident every bartender I've seen in recent years is a gorgeous female (and most baristas and cashiers).

To be frank, being sexy is a plus on any job interview. I was talking to a boss once about women in the workplace (this was a while a go) and he was like, "One word: morale." Pretty backward thinking, but I don't doubt the mentality is out there a lot.

[E-Squared]

Yes, of course it is their job to be nice to customers. However this doesn't automatically mean they can't also think you're nice. The reason this keeps happening is because people in retail have to reach out to customers as part of their job. You can meet interesting people this way. I met so many of my current friends 30 years ago working in retail. Even a shy person will be more approachable if it's their job to be welcoming. So this makes it easy for you to talk to them.

 

The key is to talk to them and see if they only talk business or if they get a little personal. If they seem happy to see you after you've chatted them up, then that's good. If they seem to disappear when you arrive, that means they don't want to deal with you and will let someone else do it. So just go ahead and be nice and see if they are nice back or avoid you.

Well, I am somewhat of a regular at this Gamestop location and I have a thing for one of the assistant managers. However, she knows who I am and whatnot. One thing that I have noticed is that in the past, she had said some stuff like "I haven't seen you in a while." However, I try to also observe her behavior towards other customers.

[alphamale]

you sound obsessed with women who serve your needs...this is a natural phenomena for a young male. just steer clear of the ones who work for tips

[Imported]

Do you interact with physically attractive women other than customer service people?

[E-Squared]

you sound obsessed with women who serve your needs...this is a natural phenomena for a young male. just steer clear of the ones who work for tips

I wouldn't say that I am obsessed because that is going a little far in this case. It just seems like I mostly feel attracted to women in customer service. However, it isn't like that with everyone. There are some who have served and while I acknowledged their attractiveness, I was not interested in them, or at least didn't feel interested.

Do you interact with physically attractive women other than customer service people?

I do sometimes. I have interacted with some at my gym but mostly in a casual sense. I can say the same thing about some at school, too.

[evanescentworld]

Why do I often find myself attracted to women who work somewhere I am a customer at?

 

....Can someone help me with this?

 

Certainly....

"Why do I often find myself attracted to ladies who work in places I frequent, as a customer?"

 

Is far better.

 

It's a pleasure, don't mention it.

[d0nnivain]

Since you see this as a repeating pattern -- being attracted to people whose job it is to help you -- you may be seeking a nurturer. You want a partner to take care of you.

 

You may also be misreading good customer service for something more.

[carhill]

Can someone help me with this?

 

One potential is you get attached emotionally by 'getting to know' someone and, since they are of your sexual preference, sexual attraction occurs.

 

I had this problem a lot when young, much to my dismay and failure. Time and experience rectified it to a style both more healthy for a man and more attractive to women in general.

[E-Squared]

Since you see this as a repeating pattern -- being attracted to people whose job it is to help you -- you may be seeking a nurturer. You want a partner to take care of you.

 

You may also be misreading good customer service for something more.

 

I know what you mean, but I don't think it's really the case with me. I said that I am aware that it is their job to interact with customers and they are supposed to be nice to people while they work. I can say that in the past that there are attractive women who are nice to customers and I can see that they're just doing their job.

 

It's just that all of a sudden I start to feel something when I tell myself that I shouldn't mistake their kindness for interest. I recognize this if you can't tell already.

[preraph]

Well, I am somewhat of a regular at this Gamestop location and I have a thing for one of the assistant managers. However, she knows who I am and whatnot. One thing that I have noticed is that in the past, she had said some stuff like "I haven't seen you in a while." However, I try to also observe her behavior towards other customers.

 

So she has at least sorted you out from the herd and is being friendly. You can ask her questions like how long has she worked there, where did she work before, and see if she seems to like you asking questions or not.

[GemmaUK]

It's familiarity.

 

 

What that means is you take you time to get to know someone.

 

 

However, shop staff etc are not the best to focus on as it is their job to be friendly..and flirty too.

[E-Squared]

So she has at least sorted you out from the herd and is being friendly. You can ask her questions like how long has she worked there, where did she work before, and see if she seems to like you asking questions or not.

Perhaps, but I still would try to observant. I am a semi-regular at that location and another assistant manager is rather friendly, but I know she is married, so I am not mistaking her friendliness for flirty interest.

[LookAtThisPOst]

There was a time in my younger years, where I would routinely (weekly) go to a well known chain restaurant and ask for a specific server's "zone". I'd become a regular at the location, so she had become familiar with me over time...but when I asked her out...."I have a boyfriend" was the response.

 

Of course, that's always been the response from women when I had asked them out in MY area.

[E-Squared]

There was a time in my younger years, where I would routinely (weekly) go to a well known chain restaurant and ask for a specific server's "zone". I'd become a regular at the location, so she had become familiar with me over time...but when I asked her out...."I have a boyfriend" was the response.

 

Of course, that's always been the response from women when I had asked them out in MY area.

Um, yeah, I don't know if I would ask for a specific server's section. I think that would be creepy. With this one waitress who I have a crush on, I never asked for her section but she has served for me on multiple occasions. I haven't tried flirting with her, but I have made some small-talk with her because I have seen her around school.

[E-Squared]

It's familiarity.

 

 

What that means is you take you time to get to know someone.

 

 

However, shop staff etc are not the best to focus on as it is their job to be friendly..and flirty too.

I won't argue with that last part. However, I have heard stories in which some guy was successful in landing a date with a barista or even a waitress. Things like that could happen.