bohica Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 (edited) Hi Just putting pen to paper so to speak to blow off some anxiety. I wrote recently about meeting someone new. It's been a month now and we have been on 4 dates. The last one being a two day date snowed in together during a recent snow storm. It wasn't planned and it kind of just happened but it was welcomed by me. I had so much fun with this girl who is a bit younger then me. I'm in my mid 40's and she is in her mid 30's. I didn't plan on liking someone as much as I like her. I am enjoying her, a lot. We are on somewhat different plans from a social perspective but everything else seems pretty compatible. The thing is that I have so many other things I need to focus on. My business isn't doing well. I am drained financially and have so many other things I need and want to focus on. This coming month is going to be extremely hard for me in a lot of way's. I like her a lot and want to continue seeing her. She is starting to occupy a lot of my thoughts when I know I should be focused. Additionally, I am not sure if I should contact her a lot because I am not sure she wants that. I also don't want to appear to anxious or needy. I'm stuck in the middle of personal needs and desires and not knowing what she is thinking. I am worried I will jump the gun on all of it. I don't want to disappoint anyone and I also just want to go with the flow. Edited January 29, 2015 by bohica
evanescentworld Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Hi Just putting pen to paper so to speak to blow off some anxiety. I wrote recently about meeting someone new. It's been a month now and we have been on 4 dates. The last one being a two day date snowed in together during a recent snow storm. It wasn't planned and it kind of just happened but it was welcomed by me. I had so much fun with this girl who is a bit younger then me. I'm in my mid 40's and she is in her mid 30's. I didn't plan on liking someone as much as I like her. I am enjoying her, a lot. We are on somewhat different plans from a social perspective but everything else seems pretty compatible. The thing is that I have so many other things I need to focus on. My business isn't doing well. I am drained financially and have so many other things I need and want to focus on. This coming month is going to be extremely hard for me in a lot of way's. I like her a lot and want to continue seeing her. She is starting to occupy a lot of my thoughts when I know I should be focused. Additionally, I am not sure if I should contact her a lot because I am not sure she wants that. I also don't want to appear to anxious or needy. I'm stuck in the middle of personal needs and desires and not knowing what she is thinking. I am worried I will jump the gun on all of it. I don't want to disappoint anyone and I also just want to go with the flow. The underlined bit? Speak to her and tell her exactly that.... 2
smackie9 Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Just keep going out on dates, and let things happen organically. If it doesn't work out it doesn't work out....you don't have any real control over that, so you need to let it go. 1
Author bohica Posted January 29, 2015 Author Posted January 29, 2015 Good advise by both. Although I also fear it may be to soon to have a talk too. Could be delicate in delivery. Don't want to appear as being too serious in terms of having a sit down.
Diezel Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 I don't want to disappoint anyone and I also just want to go with the flow. "Disappoint anyone, hell, disappoint EVERYONE, but NEVER disappoint YOURSELF."
lovexocoach Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Which is more important, your business or seeing this woman? You're infatuated with her right now. She's new and exciting. Date her casually as time permits. Let things progress. See if something comes of it. Having any sort of serious "talk" with her might scare her off or make you appear smothering or needy. In the meantime, focus on your business. Good luck. I hope things turn around for you. 1
Author bohica Posted January 29, 2015 Author Posted January 29, 2015 Which is more important, your business or seeing this woman? You're infatuated with her right now. She's new and exciting. Date her casually as time permits. Let things progress. See if something comes of it. Having any sort of serious "talk" with her might scare her off or make you appear smothering or needy. In the meantime, focus on your business. Good luck. I hope things turn around for you. Thanks. I agree with everything but the infatuated part. Strong word. It's not that intense and hopefully not that short lived. ; )
me85 Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Why not just talk to her about what the expectations are? There's a way to bring it up in a casual manner while hanging out with each other. I advise that over discussing it over the phone because a person's body language says a lot. 1
Author bohica Posted January 30, 2015 Author Posted January 30, 2015 I do want to bring it up casually. I'm really enjoying this girl at the moment and am afraid telling her she has been in my thoughts after just a month of dating is too soon. I dont see anything wrong with the thoughts. Its part of whats so great about meeting someone. It's the telling her part I think is too soon. I do want someone in my life despite the challenges I am facing with work. Its tough to express those challenges with out worrying about chasing someone away. I also dont want to get ahead of myself expressing feelings. I've made that mistake in the past and have learned it takes time to really know someone.
Author bohica Posted January 31, 2015 Author Posted January 31, 2015 I do want to bring it up casually. I'm really enjoying this girl at the moment and am afraid telling her she has been in my thoughts after just a month of dating is too soon. I dont see anything wrong with the thoughts. Its part of whats so great about meeting someone. It's the telling her part I think is too soon. I do want someone in my life despite the challenges I am facing with work. Its tough to express those challenges with out worrying about chasing someone away. I also dont want to get ahead of myself expressing feelings. I've made that mistake in the past and have learned it takes time to really know someone.
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