howcouldInotknow Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 Everyone is saying call the EX friend what exactly will that accomplish? She lied for years right along with your husband. Calling her is an utter waste of time. There are no real answers to be had from her. 5
harrybrown Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 Sorry for your and your child. I hope you will go see an attorney right away and get the D started. Your "idiot" H (sorry, but he is) will be wanting to just hurry thru the D and will settle so that he can be with his soulmate. Start the 180. This is for you to help you with this horrible shock. You distance yourself from both of them. Spend time with your child as this will be a big adjustment for your child as well. Do something nice for yourself, but make sure that you check on your bank accounts, etc to make sure he has not taken all the money out of the account. You should take half of it and put it into your separate account. This matters for all the accounts, credit cards and with the advice from your attorney, but you need to act quickly. Wishing you some peace. 2
elaine567 Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) DO not call her, do not give her the satisfaction, she is in control here at the moment, he is leaving you for her. She will laugh in your face and she may tell you stuff you do not want to hear. If you go crazy at her, she will point at you and say no wonder he left her she is nuts You cannot win there. Keep calm and do it all through your lawyer, take his/her advice and make sure you and your child are safe and settled. She needs you to be her rock here. Who cares how their relationship will pan out, it may be solid, 4+ years is a long time, or it may disintegrate rapidly, but that has no longer got anything to do with you, bar making sure your kid is OK and sees her dad. Edited January 30, 2015 by elaine567 1
whichwayisup Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 Everyone is saying call the EX friend what exactly will that accomplish? She lied for years right along with your husband. Calling her is an utter waste of time. There are no real answers to be had from her. Might make her feel better to get a few things off her chest and have a good yell at her ex best friend. 1
howcouldInotknow Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 Might make her feel better to get a few things off her chest and have a good yell at her ex best friend. I disagree this will only be temporary. As she works through her emotions there will be more that she'd like to get off of her chest. There are a whole myriad of emotions, expressing them to someone who doesn't care about what she has to say is pointless. At this point she needs to speak to people who will support her. 1
sandylee1 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 If you confront her you need to be strong and show or act like you don't want him back, but tell her she is welcome to a man that has lied to his wife throughout the marriage. I'd also let her know that he showed you the 'lovely pics' so she can process what he's like if she really doesn't know. As others have said he has a narcissistic personality disorder. You don't need him in your life. Let all your mutual friends know, let her family know and of course your Hs family know ASAP. I would NEVER take a man back after he was so cruel with his words like that. He could have simply said he wants a divorce without saying that. Don't ever believe if he says he never meant those words because I believe he did. I would also tell him that when your child is old enough you'll be honest about what happened with the two of you. Let him/her know what dad thinks of mom. Right now you should go cold and do your own thing. No begging or pleading with him. You can do better than such a disrespectful husband.
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