blueberrymuffin Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 Totally general and silly question and it doesn't really matter either way. Would a guy be the driving force in a friendship for years just for purely platonic reasons? Just interested in a guy's psychology. This isn't for me, but for a cousin. She's convinced they're just friends and he only likes her as a friend, I think he likes her more than that and would like to date her. I just don't think guys would make an effort with a female friend. What do you guys think? -They met as students on a vacation job. Were in colleges in different states. -They have no interests / hobbies in common to talk about or do together. They just get on super well. They even hate each other's major hobbies but somehow put up with the other talking about it. -They were initially friends in a group. He initiated a 'second' group with another girl and those 2. They both hung out in these 2 groups for like 2 years (by hanging out I mean like once or twice in school vacations) before they just started hanging out together alone. He's no longer friends with any of them. She is. She has suggested that he and the girl in 2nd group get back in touch so they can all hang together but he refuses. -He has never spoken about his love life to her. In the first couple of years he would get so pissed if she tried to find out about girlfriends and make fun of him about it that she stopped. She's found out through the grapevine that he had had college gfs but nothing serious. -Recently his behaviour has changed slightly. Mainly that he: -recently upped his previous occasional phone calls (used to be one every couple of months) to every week and that last up to and over an hour. They live in different states so it would be hard to meet up often. She admits he's the one who calls and keeps the convo going. -very recently he started paying for dinner when out. Like last time she went to the washroom and he'd paid when she got back. This never happened before. He told he she could buy coffee. My theory is: he always had the idea he could like her but the timing wasn't right (both college kids) so he pursued her as a friend. The timing is getting right and he's figuring out how to break this barrier. They have been friends for a long time so if he is trying to break the barrier I feel for the guy. She has an explanation for all of it. Like: he only buys dinner now because I paid for him to enter a gallery once so the precedence of paying separately has gone. I know I sound interfering but I think he's a great guy and she should go for it, if only I can convince her it's pretty good odds that he may even be secretly in love with her...
Author blueberrymuffin Posted January 29, 2015 Author Posted January 29, 2015 Not so much this particular situation, I was just using it as an example. I'm just curious if any guy would take the initiative to be the more active one in keeping in touch if he just want to be friends and has no romantic interest what so ever. in the girl. Maybe I'm just not giving guys enough credit by thinking no.
Versacehottie Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 I think it depends on what type of contact and what type of guy (generally) is doing it. Based on your example, I would say yes he is more interested than just a friend who is planning to always stay just a friend.
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