raainstorm Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 Hi All. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a month or so now. We get along fine- never had any huge arguments, just minor disagreements, the typical stuff. Here's some background information: We're both 19. I'm in college currently doing my internship which is 5 days a week, 7 hours a day. And on weekends I work at a fast food restaurant, Sat and Sun, 7 hours each day. So I work every day. He's also in college, but not doing an internship at the moment. He's still got classes 5 days a week, and on weekends he works 8 1/2 hour shifts both days at a call centre. So in general, we are both going through fairly busy times in our lives. We see each other TYPICALLY Friday nights, he'll stay over until Saturday morning when we both go off to work. So currently we are seeing each other once per week. I KNOW that we are both busy... but I still long to see him more than just once a week. The thing is - and I could very well be wrong - I'm starting to get this vibe that he just isn't as interested as I am in him. Maybe I'm exaggerating things a bit, but I feel like I make most of the effort to communicate/see each other. If he was able to, I would LOVE to see him more than once a week- and when I try to ask, he says he's SO busy (i.e. homework, has to clean the house)... perhaps I lack understanding, but these seem like silly excuses. I have a hard time believing he is THAT busy that he can't see me more often. I've tried to make compromises- for example, Skype or a phone call- but unless I mention it or take action on it, he won't say anything. I always seem to initiate this. He will initiate text messages/FB messages, but we never chat for long and he'll always cut it off by having to go do something. Sometimes I just feel like he is too busy for me. I'm just getting this sense that maybe he doesn't care as much as me because he isn't as into me. I also get the feeling he might just be making excuses and doesn't care as much to see me. Is it normal to want to see your SO more than once per week? Is it dependent on life events (i.e. how busy you are)? Does it seem like he is making excuses? Does it seem that he is not interested? What should my next steps be?
WonderWoman911 Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 It's normal to want to see your SO more than once a week. He definitely seems to be giving you excuses. You're busy as well, but still take the initiative to make plans to be see him, communicate, etc. You mentioned that he doesn't even bring up the idea for phone calls/Skype and the other forms of communication. And when the two of you finally talk, he always cut it short. He doesn't seem to be interested. You see the signs so there's no reason for being naïve. Don't dwell on someone who isn't putting in the same effort in the relationship. Continue to focus on your education.
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