python23 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) Hey guys. I've been texting a girl I've known for around 3 months now. We drink Occasionally in the same pub in our local area and I see her most weeks at least once a week. she's been single since september after a 6 year relationship so i understand if she doesn't want anything serious but she texts me all the time. we had a kiss over the xmAs holidays. I asked her out on a date and she didn't respond. We continued to text and flirt and its 80% her doin all the initiating. I once again asked her out and she said I'm not the girl you think I am I don't want to hurt you. So I didn't ask again. I still remained the nice guy and continued to be friendly by text. A couple of weeks later which was 2 weeks ago I asked her one last time, making her aware that I wasn't after anything serious incase she thought I was last time. i just wanted to date her and see where it went. She agreed to meet up the friday after but when it came to it she told me 3 hours before the date that she didn't know what she was doing as some of friends might be out. I simply said no worries to which she replied to you can come though if you want. I politley turned down the offer as I'm not a *****. Since then I've vanished. Hardly text her. I've ignored 80% of her text. I'm receiving 3 even 4 text to every short and blunt reply I give her. At the weekend she even text me at 2 am asking if I was still up. This is the night she cancelled on me. This happens most weekends. She text me earlier last week saying you don't talk to me anymore have you given up ( with a smiley face) I said ive just been busy with a few friends to which she replied again with a smiley face. I know this girl messages a few guys in the pub we go to. Quite a lot actually so is this girl just an attention seeker? she used to be over weight but lost it a few years ago so i think all this attention has gone to her head. last thursday i dropped this girl off at her house after we had spent the night at the same pub playing for the same darts team, the week previous to this i hadn't text her much at all and she was the one texting me all the time, she asked if i was ignoring her. i dropped her off and she went in for the kiss straight away. i asked her what she wanted and she said she didn't know but didn't want to be single for ever. she told me to be patient and wait till she's free she also said when she's got more time on her hands after the weekend coming up as she's in a play and rehearsing for that until sunday then she will arrange something with me "the balls in my court isn't it" she said. we kissed again then her hand started wandering to you know where. she did this again after another kiss. "she joked that i have a few girls on the go but still said she wanted to arrange something. i haven't heard from her since, she's doing the complete opposite to what she usually does. and its driving me mad, what does this girl want? is it all games? i text her the day after sending her my thoughts as it was a family member of hers funeral. she never replied. advice would be appreciated Edited January 27, 2015 by python23
heart12 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 A) When she asked if you were still up at 2 AM you should have responded 'yes come over for a drink' or something. She wanted to hook up. B) When you were kissing in the car and she was making moves, why didn't you continue to escalate? This was another opportunity. As for her playing games - I mean a 6 year relationship... that can screw anyone's head up. I'm sure she is enjoying the new attention she has been getting from different guys. So time to man up. Next time you speak to her, don't ask her. Tell her - Friday night I will pick you up at 8:30. Dress sexy. Then take her for drinks and close the deal. Do NOT take her to the bar you always go to where she frequents others. Also 'i'm not the girl you think' that line is nonsense. Ignore that.
Author python23 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) i was in bed when i got the 2am text. and as for telling her I'm picking her up at 8 on friday, what about if she says no I'm busy or something like that? I've already invited her to 3 dates i did try to escalate it in the car but she no its getting late i need to be up early. lets just say i got it out and she had bit of stroke and said i was teasing her. i did try. Edited January 27, 2015 by python23
heart12 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 In that case let her come to you... she has many times. Give her space and she'll be back.
Author python23 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Posted January 28, 2015 Anyone else? Is she actually interested or is she just doing it because she wants me to chase her. Surely if she was interested she would make more of an effort to see me and make plans
evanescentworld Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 I want you to do something for me. I want you to take a deep breath, and let it out slowly, making an 'aaaah' sound. As loud as you want. Put your hand on your adam's apple, and as you exhale, you should also feel your throat vibrate. That's your larynx, or 'voice-box'. If you can hear a noise, and feel the vibration, it means your voicebox still works. That's a good sign. So, I suggest you actually CALL AND SPEAK (*gasp!!*) to her and sort things out vocally. It's amazing what speaking can actually accomplish.
Author python23 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Posted January 28, 2015 Thanks but his doesn't really help. I've tried to make 3 dates and she cancelled on the last one we had planned. But she wants to kiss when she sees me. I can't be bothered with the hassle of chasing her. Especially if she's doing this for her own ego boost
evanescentworld Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 Thanks but his doesn't really help. I've tried to make 3 dates and she cancelled on the last one we had planned. But she wants to kiss when she sees me. I can't be bothered with the hassle of chasing her. Especially if she's doing this for her own ego boost Of course it helps. It pins her down and makes her accountable for her actions. It puts her on the spot and compels her to actually communicate.
Author python23 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Posted January 28, 2015 Ok well when I see her on Thursday and probably drop her off ( we play for the same darts team) il ask her on the spot when we are going out.) im bored of chasing this girl. She just says when my play is over we will go out. "we've got all the time in the world" she says.
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