lexx2012 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 So my boyfriend and I have been dating for awhile now and haven't really had any disagreements. First of all I didn't even realize that we were in a relationship (he never actually asked) until I finally got the guts to just ask what the heck we were. Anyways, we were both virgins and recently started to have sex. It's maybe a 1-2 time a week kinda deal. Lately, he's been horrible at texting me back. He will text me saying "hey" and not reply back to me for 1-3 hours after the fact. Sometimes I'll be talking about something and not hear back from him until later that night and he'll completely change the subject. Yes i understand that we are both college students and are busy, but there have been days where I haven't heard from him at all. This past friday he finally texted me asking if he could steal me saturday night for a surprise date. So I agreed, naturally. Saturday came and he never texted me. 5 o'clock rolls around and I shoot him a text to see what exactly is going on for the night. He tells me that his plan isn't going to work and that he's trying to think of something else. I completely didn't even care that the surprise wasn't going to work out, I just wanted to see him. So I offered for him to come over to my place and watch a movie with me and he accepts. About an hour passes and he tells me that he's going to grab food and he'll keep me posted. About two hours pass and I still haven't heard from him (it's like 9:30 at this point). So I'm kinda pissed at this point so I just tell him to forget about it and that I'm going to bed. About an hour later he texts me saying "alright...tomorrow?". I of course don't even bother to reply. When I wake up in the morning there is a text from him saying that he has a feeling that I'm upset with him. I basically send him a super long text (bad I know) telling him that I felt like he ditched me last night and blah blah blah. He responds telling me that he went out with his friends and it took way longer than what he anticipated. After a few messages, and still being upset, I stopped talking to him. The next day he never even bothered to try and talk to me. I guess I just need to know whether me not texting him first is an acceptable response and whether or not I have a good reason to be upset with him.
losangelena Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 No, I don't think your being upset is out of line. Do you want to work it out with him? If so, I'd recommend calling him, not texting. This kind of stuff never goes well over text messaging.
Author lexx2012 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Posted January 27, 2015 I definitely want to work things out, I mean I REALLY like him. And to be honest, not talking to him right now is really hard. I just want him to realize that what he did wasn't right and hurt me. I just don't know if I should be the one to start a conversation with him or wait to see if he will.
losangelena Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 This guy sounds clueless, and inexperienced, it seems. So, as great it would be to wait for him to breach the topic, that might be a long wait. All you can do is tell him how his behavior made you feel, then put some boundaries up and see what happens. For instance, if he can't show the courtesy of cementing plans with you ahead of time, then don't be available if he comes around last minute (like you did). If he's truly invested, he'll change. If not, he's revealing his true self to you, then you can decide if that's something you want to put up with. 1
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