myheartaches Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 My heart has been aching for 5 months. I just like to know I'm not alone, and I'd love to hear happy stories about the mending heart :) 3
Ieris Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Many many times and as I get older the shorter it takes to get over it. I guess the first two times back in my teens were the toughest, I thought I'd never get over it but I did. So now I know it is not the end of the world and they weren't so special after all. I have gone on and dated better people who are more suited to me at different stages of my life. Spoilt for choice so I try not to dwell on one... 2
me85 Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 My heart has been broken 3 times so far. Yes, they get harder to heal from each time but it's all a part of life. Some hurts will linger for years on end but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. That's the God's honest truth. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and all the pain I've gone through has been what made me the beautiful, strong, courageous woman I am today. 5
hurts2death Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 i am healed , but i will never get over the loss of my innocence of the first time just be strong. wish the best 3
Chi townD Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 I'll make a long story as short as I can. I was in love with a girl and I even put a down payment on a ring. Something felt off after a while and I looked into things. I discovered she was cheating on me. I confronted her and she turned on me. Called me a loser, that I was never going anywhere in life. I was never going to college or University. That I was satisfied working dead end jobs for the rest of my life. She was going with someone that had a future. That was the last time I ever talked to her. I did get into a University because I wanted to prove her wrong. That she was wrong about everything. I did really well. I went to undergrad and grad school. I started in my career and became successful. Then, I realized there was a great big world outside my door and I needed to see it. I went deep sea fishing in the Florida Keys. Dog sledding in Minnesota, cattle driving in Arizona, and white water rafting in West Virginia. Then, I went global. I've been to no less than twenty countries. I've climbed Mount Fuji in Japan, climbed the Pyrenees Mountains in southern France. Traveled the Camino de Santiago in Spain. I've stood in the Gobi Desert in China, Seen the Eiffel Tower in Paris, Big Ben in London. The Fjords of Norway. Experienced the nightlife in Tokyo. Seen Casablanca in Morocco (nothing like the movies, disappointing). I've been to the Bahamas, Jamaica....the list goes on. And I met the girl I was truly meant to be with and she is the love of my life. And we're happily married! Very professional woman and she was with me. There's a big difference between wanting a man and needing a man. She was with me because she wanted to. She could have easily said, "Look, I don't need you. I was getting along fine before you came along. I'm here because I want to be with you and no one else." See, my Ex left me because she needed a man she thought she was going to have a comfortable future with. And, in her opinion, I didn't measure up. So, if my life is so awesome, what am I doing here? To help people. To get them to open their eyes and see that it's not the end of the world and you CAN have it all if you just try. Skies the limit! 20
KBarletta Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 My heart has been aching for 5 months. I just like to know I'm not alone, and I'd love to hear happy stories about the mending heart :) You are not alone. Everyone here has gone through what you're going through at one point or another, and we've all made it through. You will too. I have had mine broken twice before after two-year relationships, now enduring a third - three months into the BU after 10 years together. This one is the worst. But I have to keep reminding myself, as you should, that it will get better, believe me. It really does just take time, and effort on your part to take care of yourself and push through the hard times. There is no avoiding the pain, so better to feel it, recognize it and try to move through it rather than ignoring it. It WILL get better. And some day you will look back on this time and barely be able to remember what it felt like. 3
hurts2death Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Kbarletta you are a soldier. keep that attitude 4
sandylee1 Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 I've been left broken hearted. It was my second boyfriend. I loved him so very much and he pretty much just disappeared from my life. He didn't even have the decency to break it off with me. He moved house and back then (early 90's) people didn't have cell phones like they do now so I had no way of contacting him. I would cry in secret all the time. I didn’t want my family to know how he'd just left me it was awful. I'd be at the subway station and just cry on my way home from work. I think he found someone else and just couldn't face telling me. As time went on I realised that you don't treat someone you love like that. I look back at our relationship now and realise that he was passively controlling and I was blind to see it, but I was 19 when we got together and I wasn't overly experienced. There are so many reasons I'm glad I married my husband and not a person like my X. I put it down to experience. You'll be just fine. 1
Kinetica84 Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 I would say my heart has been broken twice. The first time just crippled me and for 6 months i just felt empty and paralyzed. However it does recede and you begin to move on. You may always have thoughts and feelings about that person. I can honestly say i still think about all of my long term ex partners from time to time, but i do not get that feeling of dread. In fact i think of the good times we shared. I have also just been cheated on, a relationship of 3 year. quite easily the worst feeling i have ever experienced. But you know what? I will be 31 in two weeks, i own my own home, i have a good job, good friends and good family. I am back in education and actually like living on my own. I have a lot to be thankful for. Yeah, the dread and gut wrenching feeling still gets me at night when i go to bed, but it's getting easier. All the best, and i hope you feel better soon. The is a huge world out there, go see it. 4
Sweetescape910 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 Read my old threAd. Ahttp://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/495713-all-those-who-hurt-angry-vulnerable-doubtful 1
gnick Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 I'm a 51 year old guy.my breakup was 3 months ago. This is the worst one I've ever had. Tonight is a bad night. Wish I could stop saying that 1
grok Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 I would say my heart has been broken twice. The first time just crippled me and for 6 months i just felt empty and paralyzed. However it does recede and you begin to move on. You may always have thoughts and feelings about that person. I can honestly say i still think about all of my long term ex partners from time to time, but i do not get that feeling of dread. In fact i think of the good times we shared. I have also just been cheated on, a relationship of 3 year. quite easily the worst feeling i have ever experienced. But you know what? I will be 31 in two weeks, i own my own home, i have a good job, good friends and good family. I am back in education and actually like living on my own. I have a lot to be thankful for. Yeah, the dread and gut wrenching feeling still gets me at night when i go to bed, but it's getting easier. All the best, and i hope you feel better soon. The is a huge world out there, go see it. Ugh. I'm also 31, own my home, have a good job and great friends and family. I have all areas of my life figured out and I'm strong except when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm an effing catch so why am I boohooing over somebody who doesn't give two hoots about me. You always feel like you're going to die after a break-up. Guess what? This is my third break-up. Not dead yet... 5
sandylee1 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 I think he found someone else and just couldn't face telling me. Actually I know and confirmed he found someone else and cheated. It's just really horrible to remember. I'm well over it though. Like I said it was the days before cell phones. 1
babylola Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 Im on my third breakup, its been 3 months. Its so hard and confusing. Its worse when you feel lile the other person is doing ok without you too. Ive been through at all before and pulled through but ive had a particularly hard year and its hit me really hard. Trying to take it a day at a time but its hard, todays been a bad day. But yes...i will be ok...and so will all of you. Just do what you have to do 1
guest569 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 I'm still on the mend after a year. But the other parts of my life are going well. I can see the light at last, although I have ups and downs, i think its possible to recover from this. 3
Holmes85 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 Have you survived a broken heart? If you are still alive than yes you have 1
Author myheartaches Posted January 27, 2015 Author Posted January 27, 2015 All of you people are so beautiful, and I am so proud that many of you are hanging in there I am sure anyone would be lucky to have us as a romantic partners, so we should not dwell on people who obviously do not appreciate wonderful people 1
seminoles84 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 Ugh. I'm also 31, own my home, have a good job and great friends and family. I have all areas of my life figured out and I'm strong except when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm an effing catch so why am I boohooing over somebody who doesn't give two hoots about me. You always feel like you're going to die after a break-up. Guess what? This is my third break-up. Not dead yet... Haha 30 here too.. got everything going on except in the relationship area at the moment. Oh well, life goes on.. 1
mightycpa Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 I once thought my heart was broken twice. The second girl I loved dumped me because I didn't want to get married at the time, and she did. The way she chose? She cheated on me, just to make sure I'd get the message. I cried every day over that girl, at home, at work, with my pals, wherever. I couldn't help it, and I was a total mess, and I let a lot of my life deteriorate. I also embraced that pain, and felt every bit of it. But then six months later, I woke up and I realized that I didn't love her any more, not one bit, and there was no doubt. My very next thought was about the first girl who broke my heart. I never had that day for her, the one where I knew I didn't love her. While losing #2 no longer hurt me, thinking about losing #1 still hurt me then. It could hurt me right now, if I think about it too much. So I changed my mind. I think the difference is that if your heart is truly broken, you never really get over the disappointment. My heart was only broken once, and it seemed to make me immune to having it broken again. The good news is that you can get past it, and you can love again and you can go for years without ever thinking about it. You can even be grateful it happened, which is like hurt without regret. You'll be fine if you face your pain and if you manage to work on the things you blame yourself for. Forgive all the other stuff, because they're flawed humans, just like everybody else. Heartbreak can be a real growth experience, if you let it. 2
SoThatHappened Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Absolutely great post by mightycpa and very true in my experience. Good to see you back, mighty 1
Chuck636333 Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Its been 3 1/2 months for me with nc, coming out of a 7 year relationship, I'm only 26 so it was a huge chunk of my life thus far. I can honestly say I'm over it!!! It doesn't hurt anymore!!! At first I felt like I was gonna die,I did the things I needed to do to make the situation better and finally got better. The final string to break for me was when I saw she was in another relationship,via good old social media. It will get better I promise,you dont think so,and neither did i , but I promise it gets better and its liberating when you realize that person has no power over you anymore!!! 3
Author myheartaches Posted January 30, 2015 Author Posted January 30, 2015 Its been 3 1/2 months for me with nc, coming out of a 7 year relationship, I'm only 26 so it was a huge chunk of my life thus far. I can honestly say I'm over it!!! It doesn't hurt anymore!!! At first I felt like I was gonna die,I did the things I needed to do to make the situation better and finally got better. The final string to break for me was when I saw she was in another relationship,via good old social media. It will get better I promise,you dont think so,and neither did i , but I promise it gets better and its liberating when you realize that person has no power over you anymore!!! Did you guys fight a lot? I can't believe you are over it!! It's been 5 months for me, and I'm still so sad!!!
Chuck636333 Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 Did you guys fight a lot? I can't believe you are over it!! It's been 5 months for me, and I'm still so sad!!! Towards the end we fought a lot. What shocked me was how nasty she was about the whole breakup, made me realize I never had what I thought I did. I fooled myself for a long time. I stayed busy and talked with a counselor a few times. I just finally got tired of feeling depressed and sad so I forced myself over it...still took time,but insteadof sulking and feeling sorry for myself iI worked on getting better 1
Kinetica84 Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 I don't know if we ever fully get over someone we loved. It's more of we learn to live with it.
michael-034 Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 Mine hurt for about 5 months.. I was in love with a girl for 10 years, chased her for 10 years, we got together, she cheated, end of story.. Was heartbroken, literally stayed in bed for a month.. Hurt a hell of alot. about 6 months later the pain slowly, very slowly became less. 9 months post break up (now), i feel pretty ok and fine about the sitation.. Youll get there too man, I remember coming her in june 2014 and thinking wow, the guys who got over it and posting about it are so lucky.. Ill never get to that stage because I loved this girl and thought about her every day for 10 years.. well I got to the stage, youll get there too.
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