JonjMie Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 (edited) So tonight isn't a good night, broken sleep, thoughts came into my head again and I know it's because she is probably seeing someone else and I will settle down. But. It's now 20 days NC and 20 days BU As far as NC is concerned what if she is waiting for me ? She has done before on a need space basis and when I contacted her she replied straight away and said she had been waiting for me and was so relieved she thought she had blown everything and she had just made a mistake she's stubborn, she's not the sort to initiate an I'm sorry I've ****ed up text, she would wait to see what I said first for fear of putting her feelings out there and getting shot down, I told her if it happens again that would be it. She told her best friend last time she was sick to her stomach she had messed up, she has been up and down since her divorce from her husband. I would however want to be with her again, So what if she is waiting ? What if it's drifting away and I never contacted her and therefore she assumed I had moved on and didn't care ? Edited January 26, 2015 by JonjMie
LovelyDaze Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 So tonight isn't a good night, broken sleep, thoughts came into my head again and I know it's because she is probably seeing someone else and I will settle down. But. It's now 20 days NC and 20 days BU She has done before on a need space basis and when I contacted her she replied straight away and said she had been waiting for me and was so relieved she thought she had blown everything and she had just made a mistake she's stubborn, she's not the sort to initiate an I'm sorry I've ****ed up text, she would wait to see what I said first for fear of putting her feelings out there and getting shot down, I told her if it happens again that would be it. If you are sure you want to keep going back and forth like this, then break NC. You or your ex will have learned nothing. You told her that the last time that it would be over but if you break NC, she will know you are full of crap and in the back of her mind, puppetstrings for you will form. On her part, she will not learn the lesson of not taking anyone's words and actions for granted. How long can that continue? Obviously, don't know all of the circumstances of your BU. Does this happen often? Breakup to makeup? 1
Josmatjes Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Why are you going nc to begin with? I would stay no contact this time and let her contact you....imo
bigtrouble Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 So tonight isn't a good night, broken sleep, thoughts came into my head again and I know it's because she is probably seeing someone else and I will settle down. But. It's now 20 days NC and 20 days BU As far as NC is concerned what if she is waiting for me ? She has done before on a need space basis and when I contacted her she replied straight away and said she had been waiting for me and was so relieved she thought she had blown everything and she had just made a mistake she's stubborn, she's not the sort to initiate an I'm sorry I've ****ed up text, she would wait to see what I said first for fear of putting her feelings out there and getting shot down, I told her if it happens again that would be it. She told her best friend last time she was sick to her stomach she had messed up, she has been up and down since her divorce from her husband. I would however want to be with her again, So what if she is waiting ? What if it's drifting away and I never contacted her and therefore she assumed I had moved on and didn't care ? Ahhhh... the unknown... Ok, reminder, NC is for you to heal and for her to think... If you feel you are ready, you decide... Everything is worth a go... Its your heart and life on the table... 1
EmperorR Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 if someone wants to be with you they would, if someone wants to talk to you they would. They weren't scared to break up with you right? Go ahead and break nc and message, of course she will reply and be happy to hear from you, then just wait as the communication dwindles or you dont get what you want and you'll be right back at square one and have to wait another 3 weeks to reach the point you are at now. 1
Hija77 Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Ahhhh... the unknown... Ok, reminder, NC is for you to heal and for her to think... If you feel you are ready, you decide... Everything is worth a go... Its your heart and life on the table... This sounds like a lot of drama. Is that something you're attracted to? She's left you twice. Even if you got back together, how could you ever really trust her? Go NC. Move on with your life. There's too much collateral damage here. Good luck! You'll meet someone better. Have faith.
dyna85 Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 The emotional roller coaster that is NC really toys with the mind and will make you think thoughts like that. If she's waiting for you, that's a bit twisted, considering she broke up with you. It's on her to make contact if she really wants to be with you since she initiated the breakup. Don't let your mind fool you into thinking you should be fighting any further for something that is no longer, by no choice of your own. She made her bed. Now she needs to lie in it. If she drifts away permanently, it wasn't meant to be. Take solace in that. Your best best is to keep the NC clock rolling and to not act upon thoughts like this. You did before, and where did it get you then? I know it's hard, but you can do this. Have faith in yourself and stay strong buddy. 1
BC1980 Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 So tonight isn't a good night, broken sleep, thoughts came into my head again and I know it's because she is probably seeing someone else and I will settle down. But. It's now 20 days NC and 20 days BU As far as NC is concerned what if she is waiting for me ? She has done before on a need space basis and when I contacted her she replied straight away and said she had been waiting for me and was so relieved she thought she had blown everything and she had just made a mistake she's stubborn, she's not the sort to initiate an I'm sorry I've ****ed up text, she would wait to see what I said first for fear of putting her feelings out there and getting shot down, I told her if it happens again that would be it. She told her best friend last time she was sick to her stomach she had messed up, she has been up and down since her divorce from her husband. I would however want to be with her again, So what if she is waiting ? What if it's drifting away and I never contacted her and therefore she assumed I had moved on and didn't care ? So it's always on you to initiate contact to fix the relationship? Then, she leaves you again. That seems to be the dynamic you have set up. Tell me how any of that is healthy.
Author JonjMie Posted January 26, 2015 Author Posted January 26, 2015 It was only once prior I intiated contact after 3 days before I knew about doing NC and she replied straight away, said she was relieved and she felt sick and thought she had blown things, we got back together for another month prior to the final BU and it was great for the most part, I had to instigate the BU after she went cold and stopped messaging me so much even though we were still seeing each other, she was too scared to break up with me in a decent manner I had to ask her. She is in the dating site again though and recently took her picture down which normally means for her, or in our case previously, that she has met someone and doesn't feel it right to still be on the dating site while she dates someone else, probbaly early days. I think it's most Definately over I just have that what if feeling, but she has my number, I guess if she loved me that much and want de to be with me she would have tested the water with a text, it's my bihdsy Wednesday so don't think she will message me but might be an excuse for her to say something L then I have to decide if that's breadcrumbs or not. Personally I think she's moved on and checked out of our relationship a fair bit prior and probably seeing someone else. 1
Dontfindme Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Personally I think she's moved on and checked out of our relationship a fair bit prior and probably seeing someone else. So why break NC and ruin the progress? I know it probably doesn't feel like progress to you, but it is. 1
Ieris Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 If she wants you, she knows where/how to find you. Don't chase her no more x
OK_computer Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 If you are sure you want to keep going back and forth like this, then break NC. You or your ex will have learned nothing. You told her that the last time that it would be over but if you break NC, she will know you are full of crap and in the back of her mind, puppetstrings for you will form. On her part, she will not learn the lesson of not taking anyone's words and actions for granted. How long can that continue? Obviously, don't know all of the circumstances of your BU. Does this happen often? Breakup to makeup? I was the puppet with my ex for a so many damn cycles. Everytime was the 'last time' but she and I both knew I wasn't strong enough to mean what I said. Trust me, the last thing you want your ex thinking is, "He'll be back. He always comes crawling back." They spit on you, and you thinking it's love TAKE it. I had no self respect, I thought 'love' was more important that, psh what an idiot right? Until the day I finally told her, "**CK YOU ***CH" and I've never talked to her again, NC over a year. I don't have any regrets ending it, in fact I'm glad it's over. You don't want to be anyone's puppet, and when you finally do NC for a substantial amount of time, you realize how foolish you had been, and how emotionally vulnerable you were. In fact you mind even ask yourself "REALY?! what was I thinking?" B/c I did! Im no bitches kermit the frog sorry boys and girls 3
dyna85 Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Im no bitches kermit the frog sorry boys and girls Omg, I love this. 1
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