ohwelljustme Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 I met her when I first moved to this State. We worked at the same company and she was my first friend here. She was everything I've ever wanted, Smart,funny,kind, and very motivated. Although she had a long term boyfriend at the time but I couldnt help being drawn to her. Our friendship was going at a rapid speed and I started feeling like something is happening. She has been stuck in a very unhappy relationship and when I think back I think she just wanted a way out. Eventually she kicked the guy out. and We started dating right away. Things were going great for the first 6 months.I though I was the happiest person in the world. At first she was hesitant because,well, I'm a girl,and she's never been with a girl before, but I thought I could show her and prove to her that she's made the right decision by picking me. But once the honey moon period faded,things are starting to turn sour. She started feeling bad for the way she dumped her boyfriend, and started constantly comparing us and miss him, putting me down, although she was miserable in her previous relationship, she still misses him very much since they've been together a really long time. Long story short,she never had the time to heal,and her guilt towards him has been channeled to me, she started treating me bad virbally,in a way i think she started blaming me for breaking them up. and I wanted desperately to keep staying by her side,through it all,and hopefully one day she'll realize how happy she could be with me if she can just stop looking back. We kept fighting about the same thing,how she needs to be by herself,and that she's not comfortable being with a girl,and that she is not in a position of giving me what I want.After every fight we always get back together,as if nothing happened and be happy again.I thought with persistence one day I can change her mind,and she'll be proud to have me. But not this time, this weekend she's real clear she just wanted to be friends, I though I can sweet talk her back in to our old routine,but not this time. The final act of this soap is that we saw her ex's car at a parking lot and he quickly drove away. And she couldn't stop saying how crazy it is that he did that. Thats when I realized maybe this time it is for real. She's done with me,I was just a rebound. I thought we can go through challenges together through it all,face them together,but I was merely a feel good mechanism. Sucks.
Satu Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 You were living in the future and she was living in the past. The present was the missing bit in the middle. Next time synchronise your time machines. 1
Vill Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Looks like you had to prove her that you are worth her, why? Beeing a rebound hurts and sucks but imo you shouldn't be running after anyone to be together, let her come after you, if she doesn't then it's done, meanwhile start moving on as it's over already. 1
LovelyDaze Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 (edited) She's done with me,I was just a rebound. You answered most of your own questions on why your relationship dissolved so quickly. All is true: Your ex jumped into a relationship with you way too fast before grieving over the loss of the last one fully, she needed time alone to heal first, she has amassed guilt in her part in the breakup and took it out on you. As someone who just fell for her, you didn't stand a chance. What WON'T work is any extra drama. Don't try to "show" her you are the better choice or beg/plead for her to stay with you. She is all over the place with her emotions and she needs that time alone to figure herself. Don't let her ambivalence to saying she was uncomfortable being in a same-sex relationship be the blinking cause to you. This type of rebounding is sooo universal. The main thing is that you were THERE and gave her attention & made her feel desirable. Many people in relationships can even HAVE that from their partner and crave more...hence cheating. You are deserving of a girl who will love you truly and in full. Let this ex go along her way and give your own self the best chance at real happiness. Edited January 26, 2015 by LovelyDaze 1
towardthefuture Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Well luckily for you, her ex probably wants nothing to do with her any more. Unluckily for you, the basis for your relationship was transitional. As lovely daze mentioned, you gave her attention and made her feel desirable -- something that was probably missing from her LTR, as the excitement dies down after several years and the companionship becomes routine. Of course, this is RETALIATORY, not a true basis of a relationship. In other words, it would seem you were giving her something she was missing in the confines of her previous relationship -- like eating a meal, once she was full of what she'd craved, she realized she lost all the OTHER parts of her previous relationship to binge on this one thing. So she'll probably be alone now. *shrug* You'll find someone else. 1
Author ohwelljustme Posted January 26, 2015 Author Posted January 26, 2015 Thanks for the comments people.I just really wanted to hear about other's opinion on this. Thanks.
Chi townD Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Yeah, sorry to say this, but you called it. You were a rebound. I mean, this girl isn't even gay. If anything, she was bi-curious. I know it sucks, but I think you need move on. Heal from this and find a girl that can dedicate herself to you and not have all this baggage attached to her. 1
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