newleaf1983 Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 Hello! I've been seeing a man (41) I met online for a month now and we just had our 4th date. He's an introvert and a big homebody so we've pretty much been spending time talking and watching movies on each other's couches, which is fine by me (I'm a big homebody too). Things have been going wonderfully and the chemistry is great. I love spending time with him and I feel like he does too. We haven't had sex yet because I want to wait until we are in a relationship first. He said he was fine with that. We have went to 3rd base and we have spent the night over each other's houses. I haven't met any of his friends/family yet but he was QUICK to add me to his Facebook page to get to know him better. With Valentine's Day coming up I want to do something special for him but I can't do what I want to do without some sort of commitment in place. I don't want to push him in fear of pushing him away. Should I still bring up the big "What are we" question or should I wait a while longer? Keep in mind that he's been letting me set the pace of intimacy so far so he COULD be waiting for me to start dropping hints (or be blatant).
Gaeta Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 Hello! I've been seeing a man (41) I met online for a month now and we just had our 4th date. He's an introvert and a big homebody so we've pretty much been spending time talking and watching movies on each other's couches, which is fine by me (I'm a big homebody too). You know what, I use to allow that too because I love being in the comfort of my home and it's easier to get conversation with more depth but it's not dating. You are skipping important phases of courting. You need to go out together, see him interact with you in public, see how he interacts with others as well. I feel going into people's home for first 2-3-4 dates is nowadays way of lazy dating. I haven't met any of his friends/family yet It's normal, most people will wait past 3 months up to 6 months to introduce friends and family. but he was QUICK to add me to his Facebook page to get to know him better. Wow! really? he adds you to his FB so you get to know him better? How are you going to learn about his character? browse his wall? Should I still bring up the big "What are we" question or should I wait a while longer? Do what ever feels right to you. If you feel intimacy should happen soon and you want it to be within a relationship then address it early. Don't put it in 'what are we' terms. Just talk about dating exclusively. Are your profiles still up? 2
Divasu Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 I'd give it a few more dates. Four dates in one month, it's still early on in the "courtship phase". Of course, every situation is different in terms of timing but keep in mind that this is still all very new for the both of you.
Author newleaf1983 Posted January 25, 2015 Author Posted January 25, 2015 You are skipping important phases of courting. You need to go out together, see him interact with you in public, see how he interacts with others as well. I feel going into people's home for first 2-3-4 dates is nowadays way of lazy dating. I'm fine with it. We both have social anxieties so at home dates are preferred. It's normal, most people will wait past 3 months up to 6 months to introduce friends and family. That's cool. I do know that he's at least mentioned me to his friends (work friends) because I asked him if he wanted to go ice skating with me and he asking around to other people about how crowded the rink was going to be. It freaked us both out so we decided not to go. Wow! really? he adds you to his FB so you get to know him better? How are you going to learn about his character? browse his wall? You really didn't have to be a condescending as*hole about that. Do what ever feels right to you. If you feel intimacy should happen soon and you want it to be within a relationship then address it early. Don't put it in 'what are we' terms. Just talk about dating exclusively. That sounds fair. Are your profiles still up? Both of ours are still up.
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