UltimaWeapon Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 (edited) Hello, I am going to make this as short as possible. Met girl back in the summer of 2013. left on vacation when we started talking for a month- we kept in contact over there almost everyday, she gave me all signs she was into me, sent me photos, told me she couldn't wait to see me when I came back, told her mom, we talked on the phone for hours as well, etc. When I came back she would keep flopping on me when we would make plans (which were her plans also)- we ended up seeing each other randomly one night and made out and had a great time- spent a few hours together. Basically she gave me b.s that she was not ready for a relationship and she just couldn't be with me now. I ended up walking away and told her I wanted to be with her but I did not want her as a "friend" I had a feeling someone else was in the picture and right after I walked away I found out I was right. She never mentioned anyone else so she basically lied about everything and posted it on social media so I would see. She basically played me hardcore. I kept quiet and never confronted her about it. Anyways..2 months go by I did no contact. completely went away. She ends up contacting me after 2 months. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ She ends up doing this: * 1. Starts liking my photos on social media * 2. Msgs me after 2 months " Hope you are doing good" - gets ignored * 3. I end up running into her at the beginning of January with her guy holding hands in the shopping mall- we both didnt acknowledge each other- I ignored her as if she didn't exist. She msgs me later that night " Sorryyy :(" - gets ignored again. *4. Still continues to like my photos on social media * 5. Few days later..She ends up activating her fb and msgs me thru there asking if I blocked her? This time she was really getting on my nerves and I replied and said No I didn't block you. I don't know what you want me to say to those txts msgs. Shes like really? well I saw you at the mall and I thought it was stupid I didn't say hi so I just wanted to apologize- I Ignored that message again and didn't say anything. She ends up de activating it again. * 6. Few days later- she msgs me AGAIN through text. and basically ends up telling me that shes really sad I disappeared on her just like that. ( she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship right now and wanted me to be patient and understanding- she wasn't even willing to go slow or anything. I just wanted to hangout and get to know her better after talking so long- that was clearly a problem- so I backed off and left) * 7. I end up replying and I ask her What did u expect me to do? She replies well you do know I fell hard for you..i just wasn't ready at the time. ( keep in mind shes with her new guy now- while shes saying this to me- she knows I know too because I saw them together holding hands) This is the first time she ever told me how she felt about me or anything. It was really strange after 2 months for her to say that especially if she has a bf now. I replied and said to her I don't understand what is it that you want now? She saw the message and hasn't replied yet. its been 7 days. I ignored her so much that I really wanted to know what da hell she really wanted after all this time that has passed and she has someone else now? like why is she coming back to me? Please don't tell me its for attention because I haven't given her any at all. I disappeared entirely the last 2 months and have not done anything in terms of me and her. I showed no reaction when I saw her, never messaged her first, ignored her msgs. She kept continuing to msg me until I finally replied to see what she wanted and when I did she still hasn't said anything?? What is up with this girl? Why is she messaging me while shes with this guy now? Especially to tell me this stuff? Has anyone experienced this before? Edited January 25, 2015 by UltimaWeapon
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 She is clearly using you as a fall back just in case things with her BF go south, trust me man don't give her the time of day man
flashed Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 This is easy. She wants you in her back pocket in case things don't work out with this new fella so she can fall back on you. Shes attempting to string you along as part of her harem, or fan club. You're doing the right thing not getting emotional or needy with her. This sort of thing happens quite a lot with guys. Just keep on meeting and dating new women.
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 This is easy. She wants you in her back pocket in case things don't work out with this new fella so she can fall back on you. Shes attempting to string you along as part of her harem, or fan club. You're doing the right thing not getting emotional or needy with her. This sort of thing happens quite a lot with guys. Just keep on meeting and dating new women. What this poster said goes double for me
lovexocoach Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 I assume you have no interest in dating her or being in a relationship with her? Could be any number of reasons. Sounding you out to see if you're interested in her still. Possibly she has regrets about not being in a relationship with you. Maybe she's hedging her bets if her current relationship doesn't work out and she'll be able to move into a relationship with you. Who knows? You're doing the right thing. Maintain no contact. Date other women. Be polite if she contacts you.
Author UltimaWeapon Posted January 25, 2015 Author Posted January 25, 2015 (edited) To be honest I know even if she came back and wanted to be with me now after everything I know I wouldn't be able to trust her at all, that's first. Second thing is, she lied to me and played me for a fool since I came back from vacation and it went on far too long. She just kept feeding me excuses as to why she couldn't date me or see me..even when she made the plans. She just played too many games and has really changed my perception of many things and how to approach certain situations. It's sad because we are both 24 but she legit acts like an unstable 14 year old. I won't lie a part of me probably still wants her because I really did like this girl and in 4 years since I have been single the only one that I have truly felt this strongly for. I actually for the first time really wanted to be in a relationship again. I was in one for 4.5 years that ended in 2010..and than I was in another in 2013 for about 3 months..so when she came along I felt the connection and instant attraction right away. It's something I haven't felt before with anyone else. It takes me a lot to feel something for someone- maybe its because of my past that I am more cautious and that's why I have been extra careful who I spend my time on- but she really was everything I was looking for in a potential girlfriend. Thing is.. I also found out that this other guy has been in the picture a lot longer than I thought he was- and what I don't get is..if she was seeing someone else..why not just tell me " hey listen I am seeing someone else right now, its not the right time." I would have been like okay no problem...but she just told me she wasn't ready to be in a relationship- it was too much stress, her family wanted her to focus on work and school and legit 2 weeks later after I walked away I see pics wit her and that other guy lol....like? I saw them together in the mall...in the beginning of this month holding hands...she messages me as if nothing happened and if I didn't see them together..its like shes provoking a reaction out of me or expecting some kind of reaction. and now shes suddenly telling me she fell for me but wasn't ready??? lol..yet she's with this guy still? like it doesn't make sense. I have never been in a situation like this before Edited January 25, 2015 by UltimaWeapon
SycamoreCircle Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 One of the reasons she's maintained contact with you through all of this is your aloofness. It's a huge turn on to her. My advice would be to just block her completely. If you see her, walk in the other direction. Never respond to her texts or calls. Don't play into her game. She's not the type of girl you want to get involved with. She needs constant attention and if the two of you did ever become a thing, she'd find another guy who could be strung along on the side like you.
EgoJoe Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 You're being groomed for a nice long position as backburner guy. She's disordered and had poor boundaries. Call her out and next her.
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