indyboy362 Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 Backstory: Met her last year in June. Went out a few times and we really hit it off. Everything was perfect with us and it seemed that one day I could maybe see me marrying this person, which doesn't happen often. She was extremely into it too and said how she's never felt like this before. Anyway, 3 months into the relationship we have a big date in the city and do everything. It was awesome but for some reason she thought we didn't connect well. Also during this time period she was going through extreme stress and pressure from her parents, career, and education. She was so out of it and not herself at the time. I didn't think much of it and was there to support her. Anyway the next day after the date she calls me and asks me if we can just be friends. I was shocked, I couldn't believe it. And I was hurt from it. She couldn't explain well why she felt that way. She said stuff like oh we didn't connect that well on the date, and I have so much stress in my life right now that I can't have a relationship. Everything was perfect; there were no signs of us breaking up for some time. But out of nowhere she asks me this. I'm kind of sensitive so I freak out and ask her why are you doing this and that I can help her through her problems. She attempted to give me a week to see how she felt after that. I gave her space. But even then she felt the same way. After the breakup I would attempt NC, but would break it after a month and ask for her back. This this twice and it never worked. The 3rd time I asked her a simple question and then realized 'why am I doing this to myself'? So I immediately deleted her number, blocked her on instagram and facebook, and deleted all photos with us to help me move on. Since then I haven't talked to her in 2 months, and I don't plan to break NC. But I keep thinking about her because I've never felt that way about someone before. I hope she's okay still. I was reading up on the grass is greener syndrome and I'm wondering if this is the case for it? I think she got cold feet from our relationship developing to the next level, and with her stress on top of all this made her very distant toward me. I'm just looking for some sort of explanation for what happened, because I keep thinking to myself "What could I have done differently?" We never fought, we always enjoyed each other's company. Things were so good. For once I let me guard down when dating a girl and it just came back and hurt me bad.
Light Breeze Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 Definitely not GIGS. I don't think she was invested in this relationship as you were. She probably was not that into you, but tried anyway, then she realized her feelings won't change, so she cut you off. In my opinion, if she really liked you she would appreciate your support during those difficult times. Unless.... you got too needy and clingy, those are attraction breakers. Sorry brother. 1
LovelyDaze Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 "What could I have done differently?" We never fought, we always enjoyed each other's company. Things were so good. For once I let me guard down when dating a girl and it just came back and hurt me bad. You are doing great keeping NC for the past 2 months. Don't blame yourself for trying. I don't think it constitute as a GIGS situation in particular but I do think it is just incompatibility and/or communication of wants/needs. As soon as you feel truly ready, you will find someone that will rhyme well with you. Try not to get into anything to quick until you get over this relationship of course.
Author indyboy362 Posted January 25, 2015 Author Posted January 25, 2015 Definitely not GIGS. I don't think she was invested in this relationship as you were. She probably was not that into you, but tried anyway, then she realized her feelings won't change, so she cut you off. In my opinion, if she really liked you she would appreciate your support during those difficult times. Unless.... you got too needy and clingy, those are attraction breakers. Sorry brother. I don't know, It's hard to believe. We would talk everyday and everyday she would say she missed me, and she was always very excited to talk. She said she's never felt like this about anybody before and that she's always imagined meeting a guy like me this way and connecting so perfectly. She said the dates we had together were the best dates she's ever had. She never seemed disinterested, until her stress hit her life. Also the stress from were parents was about her getting an arranged marriage ASAP with someone else in her specific caste and she was totally against that. Fights would occur in their home because of that. I was never needy during the relationship. I kept things cool and was very comfortable with every situation. But once she said "can we just be friends?" I kind of lost it and became a little needy, but not excessively. I kept my distance and gave her space, but when we talked I was persistent on that we should still be together. In a way I kind of hope that it is GIGS so that maybe she'll come back someday. But in some way I also hope that it isn't GIGS so then I can truly just let go completely.
flitzanu Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 even if it was "GIGS" that doesn't mean she is going to come back some day. you should pay attention to her words, she told you the truth of why she didn't want to be with you. don't live with hope that she's going to change her mind, it will drive you crazy.
The Poster Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 Wow, this is a mirror image of my current situation. Things were amazingly magical for the first 2 months. So much chemistry and strong feelings. A lot of laughter, support, kindness towards each other. Easily the best thing I've ever had. Then her life got turned upside down. She lost her job, had family trouble, and became overwhelmed with stress. I tried my best to be supportive and helpful and stick by her, but she seemed to turn cold to everything. Broke up with me two weeks later saying she didn't feel she could let me in (she's very hard headed and independent.) It didn't shock me as her hot and cold behavior over those last two weeks were a clear warning sign, but I was still devastated. Still am. I didn't even plead or beg or fight when she ended it. I just wished her well and hoped she found whatever she was looking for, she said the same and that was it. Not a single word has been spoken since and it's so damn sad. I hated the way things ended because the last night we were together she was pretty nasty towards me, and I still don't understand why. She was so kind until the stress got to her. Anyway, sorry for rambling, but the point is there isn't anything we can really do. I thought I treated her pretty damn well, but in the end it doesn't really matter. I'm sure you have a lot of questions and confusion buzzing around your head like I do, but you have to do your best to ignore it and keep moving forward. Someday you'll understand why it happened. "There will be an answer...let it be."
questionsforthenouns Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 I agree with flitzanu... I know how hard this is, but I think you should stop seeking an answer for why she left. You know you didn't do anything wrong, so why does it matter why she left? It wouldn't change anything if you knew. I'm sorry you are going through this, I am going through some difficulty myself right now. But you gotta know in your heart that everything is going to be alright. Stick to that. Best
Author indyboy362 Posted January 25, 2015 Author Posted January 25, 2015 It's just really hard to let go of something that was so great. I wish I could stop thinking about how she's doing... I always think.. will we be friends again ever? Does she hate me for defriending her on social media sites? I know all these questions are pointless but I still think them. 1
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