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I needs some space- but I'm not cooling it off


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Posted
Fair point however she doesn't really party much, she works two jobs and has a horse so she can't afford to nor had the time to party

 

Either way man I can understand you needing to vent but it is better for all concerned if you just move on

Posted

Women that age are reeds blowing in the wind. All it takes is a good looking guy showing an interest in her for her EnTiRe WoRlD to go haywire.

 

Start looking at women more your age.

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Posted

So yesterday I deleted her of Facebook so I can't be constantly reminded and tortured. I have deleted all messages too. Who knows what will happen if she comes back it would take some serious thinking but for the moment I'm not going to contact her. I have signed up to match. Com and every time I think about her I message a woman on there instead!

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Posted
So yesterday I deleted her of Facebook so I can't be constantly reminded and tortured. I have deleted all messages too. Who knows what will happen if she comes back it would take some serious thinking but for the moment I'm not going to contact her. I have signed up to match. Com and every time I think about her I message a woman on there instead!

 

I had to log in just to reply to this.

 

Hon! get out of match.com. Find a distraction somewhere else. I am serious about finding a mate and too often I come across a man like you who's just on there to put a band-aid on his wounds.

 

It hurts I know!! you need to feel that hurt, it's part of life! If you don't allow yourself to mourn it will come back and haunt you later.

 

Get off dating sites.

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Posted

OK fair enough... Perhaps I shouldn't be rebounding on there... However I would never mess anyone around

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Posted

Can I just apologise that comment makes me sound like a real dick!

 

It was strictly to chat and meet new people.

 

Anyway tonight I have been to the gym and shopping. I have a new aim now... To get a 6 pack and to medal at a Brazilian jiu jitsu comp

Posted

I don't think there is anything wrong with him going on Match. The best way to get over one is to get another one, and it's not always a rebound he could meet the love of his life, someone at the same place he is in life.

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Posted

So she collected her stuff on Friday and posted my key. She text to tell me but I didn't respond... Still nc. Miss her like crazy

Posted

Sorry to hear this, don't over analyse things. Like others have suggested, 23 is (by today's standards) still a baby. Unless she is religious and marriage minded, she would be thinking about her needs only, to go out, play the field, experiment, go check the "greener grass" on the other side, date the ars.hole, the player etc etc.

Unfortunately, there is no way you could have made her see sense and she has to make her own mistakes.

Posted

Next time you date someone, try to evaluate them not in term of how much they are into you (which is a volatile thing and can change over night) but in term of how mature and stable they are as individuals. A person who is mature and knows what they want is far less likely to pull the sort of behaviour that your ex did. They would bring any concerning issues they have out on the table, try to negotiate them with you to either resolve things or to reach a mutual agreement that you two aren't suitable for eachother. It would still feel upsetting, but at least you would feel respected and appreciated, and to an extent comforted by the fact that the other person is just as sorry as u are and that they have at least tried to work on things with you.

  • 2 weeks later...
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Posted

Just seen this post... It makes a lot of sense. However it doesn't make things easier. Before the breakup I borrowed a book of a mutual friend.. She text me on Saturday saying the person in question wants it back and she text again yesterday.... I'm probably gonna contact the person direct to organise the return but half of me feels this is her reaching out.... I dunno

Posted
I thought she would have a bit more respect for me than that.... I know 6 months ain't the longest but surely a Base level of respect t is built up by then

 

yes a base level of respect should be at the six month mark....i think you should have a talk with her and tell her how you feel, its all about how she feels....and that isnt fair...you need closure or some sort of workable situation here ....you dont have either....she need sot either be invested in your relationship as much as everything else ...in fact ....for a relationship to work i feel that it has to take precedence......deb

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Posted

I honestly don't think I will ever get closure!

Posted

I'm so sorry OP :(

 

This happened with me before too. I met a guy who I thought was great; handsome, I was sexually attracted, great personality, very similar, several very intense months.

 

Then suddenly he goes cold and eventually confesses that he does not want a relationship and it all felt too serious and real.

 

I was devastated.

 

3 months later I met my now bf and he swept me off of my feet - he was exactly ready for the kind of relationship I wanted. Yes we aren't perfect but I'm happy.

 

I'm telling you this to say that there will be another woman and it will work. I'm sorry it didn't with this one. She simply sounds young, immature and a bit self-involved. After 6 months, she owed you more.

Posted
I honestly don't think I will ever get closure!

 

 

if a person doesnt give you closure you are well within your rights to get closure yourself....you do that.....it isnt fair and you absolutely have that right to closure...so take it.....its yours..be firm with what you want.....and what you are not willing to accept..what you cannot abide by or with...they are your values your standards so stick to them.....deb

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Posted
if a person doesnt give you closure you are well within your rights to get closure yourself....you do that.....it isnt fair and you absolutely have that right to closure...so take it.....its yours..be firm with what you want.....and what you are not willing to accept..what you cannot abide by or with...they are your values your standards so stick to them.....deb

 

It's hard to get closure while on the middle of Nc... When she did split up with me she wouldn't even meet me to talk face to face. Oh well

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