SethDamien Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 Venting here is a great way to relieve myself, and to avoid any possibilities of doing something stupid with myself. sorry about English by the way. We lasted 3 good years before she ended it. We're still neighbors and office mates so i still see her everyday. I always showed my utmost care when we were together. Never neglected her, and always proved my love for her everyday. Even though we were already a couple, i courted her everyday. Everything i done was unconditional and I never was a step away from her whenever she needs anything. In contrast, she was verbally abusive. One small mistake and she blasts me with words like "idiot, moron, stupid, dumb, useless" i guess there's a hint of bitterness in my tone (i allowed myself to be a doormat) I normally have high patience, but one day, I lost my cool and wanted to vent out to a female friend without my gf knowing, and i did. We just had a talk. I liked the girl, but never saw anything more than that. She discovered about the meet up and well, you guess what happens next. I still loved my GF and only thought about marrying her everyday. Im not cleaning myself here. The dirt is still on me, I take the blame of breaking her trust. we broke up on February 11, 2014. Fast forward>>> Its been since November my ex started meeting up with our officemate and excessively texting/chatting. When i discovered about them, i dont know what came over me, i started begging, and being needy and such, ugh! i never felt so ugly before in my life. I texted her long messages and kept on calling her... I thought months of being friends finally kept my cool after the BU, but only did i realize i was still madly in love with her when she started seeing someone new. And its unlikely a rebound since we broke up a long time ago. I cant complain though. I just miss her and thought about getting back to her eventually... I dont know if the chances of getting her back is still there or none at all. We still see each other but we no longer talk, she no longer texts me. She just keeps ignoring me. Hopefully i can go full NC when she moves out next week. I dont want to ask "how can someone who loved you so much completely ignore you?" because i was also the dumper in my previous relationship and i understand how repulsive begging looks. all you wanna do is get away from them. Im just tired. the pain is still fresh. I thought broken hearts was just a metaphor but my heart is beating really fast, its killing me and keeping me awake at night. i tried new hobbies, cleaned myself up like getting new clothes, eating right, and working out. I dont understand what im missing out if im still a wreck. I know the longer i keep her in my head, the longer i keep myself from being happy again... but why does it feel so natural to think about her, why is it so natural to love someone so excessively... if only it was easy as telling myself it never was meant to be, then i'll gladly oblige.
Rainoflight Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 If this is absolutely 100 % true: "idiot, moron, stupid, dumb, useless" i guess there's a hint of bitterness in my tone (i allowed myself to be a doormat) Then you should never reach to that woman again. Imagine if you would got married with her and you did something really wrong, not cheating, but i have no idea, buy something you shouldn't. Just imagine her reaction. You are far better now, brother. Trust me. Keep doing what you do, try meeting other women. Tinder might help, but only for a short period of time. Just keep doing what you did and ignore her.
Light Breeze Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 Time to read Dr. Robert A. Glover's - No More Mr. Nice Guy.
Author SethDamien Posted January 24, 2015 Author Posted January 24, 2015 If this is absolutely 100 % true: "idiot, moron, stupid, dumb, useless" i guess there's a hint of bitterness in my tone (i allowed myself to be a doormat) Then you should never reach to that woman again. Imagine if you would got married with her and you did something really wrong, not cheating, but i have no idea, buy something you shouldn't. Just imagine her reaction. You are far better now, brother. Trust me. Keep doing what you do, try meeting other women. Tinder might help, but only for a short period of time. Just keep doing what you did and ignore her. Its 100% true, and when i try to explain myself, and beg her to listen, she'd just slam the door at my face. The next day, she gives me the cold shoulder and im always the first to apologize and do the chores in hopes she might see how genuine my apology is. I guess i have the "nice guy syndrome", i'd like to emphasize its derogatory. I get what you mean @Rain, im doing exactly what the forumers told me months ago to just forget her, and be happy with myself. I have this mentality that i always need to seek approval from her, and that im very dependent on my relationship with her. I guess i just loved her too much, but i know moving on is not impossible. I want to move on, i know i can, but why is the process too long and too painful?
Author SethDamien Posted January 24, 2015 Author Posted January 24, 2015 Time to read Dr. Robert A. Glover's - No More Mr. Nice Guy. Thanks to you, I just did, and i didnt like it because i saw myself in it... LOL
Rainoflight Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 Its 100% true, and when i try to explain myself, and beg her to listen, she'd just slam the door at my face. The next day, she gives me the cold shoulder and im always the first to apologize and do the chores in hopes she might see how genuine my apology is. I guess i have the "nice guy syndrome", i'd like to emphasize its derogatory. I get what you mean @Rain, im doing exactly what the forumers told me months ago to just forget her, and be happy with myself. I have this mentality that i always need to seek approval from her, and that im very dependent on my relationship with her. I guess i just loved her too much, but i know moving on is not impossible. I want to move on, i know i can, but why is the process too long and too painful? I am in a somehow similar situation. My ... now ex i presume, was very seltcentered. Never apreciate anything i do for her and took me for granted. Sadly, the same happend with you above. She is someone that will walk over you over and over again. I know the pain, you were convinced she was the one, you tend to go back to the exceptional moments you had and not the bad ones, but it can't work like that. She does not deserve you, never did. She always puts her needs above yours and will never be there for you when you need her. Cry, work out. Repeat. You can do it.
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