Author SycamoreCircle Posted January 24, 2015 Author Posted January 24, 2015 Her emotional affair began around Jan. 16th or a little earlier of last year. Her physical cheating began the end of February. The BU happened around the first week of March. My discovery of what she'd been up to end of March. Last time we saw or spoke to each other beginning of April.
Gaeta Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 You will start feeling better when you get past that 1 year bump. Wanting to put a band-aid on our wound isn't always a good solution. It temporarily stops the bleeding but then the haemorrhage will just happen later.
Author SycamoreCircle Posted January 24, 2015 Author Posted January 24, 2015 And for the record, there ain't nothing wrong with a Prada handbag. Slaving in the lap of luxury - Los Angeles Times 1
kendahke Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 Slaving in the lap of luxury - Los Angeles Times who asked who out on the date? I'm sure I can find a gazillion articles on things you buy that are made in China in slave labor shops, too.
kendahke Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 I asked her. Knowing the shallowness she put forth in her profile... instead of just passing and finding someone less hot, but more authentic.
Author SycamoreCircle Posted January 24, 2015 Author Posted January 24, 2015 My original post was written just a short time before we were to meet. I think I was having doubts about my decision to meet. So, you're absolutely right. I'm to blame for the date ever happening. I also agree that I own things which were made in less than desirable conditions. Ex: this Macbook Pro.
umirano Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 SycamoreCircle, I relate to how you view this last date. I don't think it's judgmental. Your assumptions on women who make prada bags a prominent object in their lives are not exotic in any way. I think the flak you're getting in this thread is unwarranted, although explicable, as many people hate confrontation and hate standing up for what they secretly often feel bad about. She agreed to see you as much as you did. You went to see her to be distracted from your BU and out of curiosity. She maybe thought that you might be a match. I'm not surprised you aren't. She probably will not be inclined date to self professed "artsy" guys in the near future. I personally find a certain materialism in girls sexy. Be shallow and materialistic as much as you like, just stand up for it 2
Author SycamoreCircle Posted January 24, 2015 Author Posted January 24, 2015 SycamoreCircle, I relate to how you view this last date. I don't think it's judgmental. Your assumptions on women who make prada bags a prominent object in their lives are not exotic in any way. I think the flak you're getting in this thread is unwarranted, although explicable, as many people hate confrontation and hate standing up for what they secretly often feel bad about. She agreed to see you as much as you did. You went to see her to be distracted from your BU and out of curiosity. She maybe thought that you might be a match. I'm not surprised you aren't. She probably will not be inclined date to self professed "artsy" guys in the near future. I personally find a certain materialism in girls sexy. Be shallow and materialistic as much as you like, just stand up for it I agree, there is a sexiness to materialism. And it's not so much that this woman wasn't a bohemian that I didn't take to her. She told me she had an art degree and once had paintings exhibited in NYC galleries. It's that I didn't feel art and creativity pulsed through her, like a life force. I don't even mean she didn't choose it as a career path. I'm a failed actor. I gave up on it long ago. But I need creation in my life and I need someone who needs creation. It's a value that I esteem very highly. That she wore vintage glasses and talked about selling herself to corporate America, she just doesn't get it. Not everyone can be a celebrated writer, painter, actor. But some people hold creation personally close. It's something spiritual.
NopeNah Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 Don't go on dates,just to be on a date.. Breath, and play the field with people who you relate to...just my opinion.
NopeNah Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 Also...I consider myself very materialistic. Cars,clothes,housing,ect.. It's who I am and what I wake up for every day. I'm also into art(music production) big time.. People do their own things. I could also live in a tent in the middle of nowhere and be perfectly happy...weird.
elaine567 Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 I think this is partly true. I'm forgiving and resilient enough to be able to deal with most of these so-called obstacles. I'm usually angry at myself after some of these dates. It just sucks being in this position. -I can't seem to really fall for these women. -I can't seem to abstain from trying to date. -I can't be with my ex. -I can't make amends with my ex. -I love(d) my ex. -I'm not allowed to love my ex. -I can't have sex with these women. I just feel stuck. You don't want to fall for any of these women, because you are not ready to date, you are still very raw from the BU. This was not just a BU, this was the worst kind IMO, betrayal that rips you apart and questions your life, your sense of self, your judgement, your faith and trust. You are still grieving, still working it out. Do not beat yourself up, you are getting out there and having experiences that will stand you in good stead. All you need is time at the moment.
writergal Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 I agree, there is a sexiness to materialism. And it's not so much that this woman wasn't a bohemian that I didn't take to her. She told me she had an art degree and once had paintings exhibited in NYC galleries. It's that I didn't feel art and creativity pulsed through her, like a life force. I don't even mean she didn't choose it as a career path. I'm a failed actor. I gave up on it long ago. But I need creation in my life and I need someone who needs creation. It's a value that I esteem very highly. That she wore vintage glasses and talked about selling herself to corporate America, she just doesn't get it. Not everyone can be a celebrated writer, painter, actor. But some people hold creation personally close. It's something spiritual. So what happens when you meet an artist or actress or musician who owns a Prada bag / wears high designer clothes? What happens when you meet a woman who needs creation artistically-speaking, just like you, but who also appreciates the finer things in life. Granted, my designer handbags are bought second hand but I've never had a guy on a date grill me on any of my clothes or shoes or handbags like you have. That my friend, is tacky. Unless you want to offend your dates then by all means, break out the circle questionnaire and provide your date with a No. 2 lead pencil sharpened, and give her 15 minutes to complete your "are you compatible with me?" survey. (now I'm being sarcastic, so don't take this next paragraph personally): Let her know that you are the proctor of her social cultural values exam, and that if she passes, WHALA she gets a date with YOU. If she fails, you will hand her a brochure for a weekend camp where shallow people confront their inner hippie through all kinds of non-materialistic activities like basket weaving, massage classes, drum circles, and patchouli making classes. And if THAT doesn't work, I suggest you drive out to the counterculture community Elysium, where Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd stopped off because it changed their lives. It may change yours. And you're not a failed actor. You're an actor on hiatus. You can pick-up acting again anytime you wish. If that's what you want to do, then do it. Anyway. You need to heal and recover from your breakup. That's first and foremost what you need to do before you will be emotionally available and ready to meet a woman you feel compatible with. Don't you think? I mean, dating casually hasn't really helped you based on the threads you've written about your dating escapades. It's just made you more bitter. That's a-no good! 2
hopefullove Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 Granted, my designer handbags are bought second hand but I've never had a guy on a date grill me on any of my clothes or shoes or handbags like you have. That my friend, is tacky. Unless you want to offend your dates then by all means, break out the circle questionnaire and provide your date with a No. 2 lead pencil sharpened, and give her 15 minutes to complete your "are you compatible with me?" survey. YES THANK YOU!!!! IT IS SO TACKY!!!!! it is tacky and rude. Picking on someone based on their own personal tastes, that have nothing to do with you. It's not like you're married to her and you have a child to feed and instead of feeding your superficial wife buys prada (which, btw, isn't even a big deal anymore, I'm going to say that she is Russian, and has experienced new world success but still associates class with a prada handbag, but prada is not that unattainable on the luxury handbag scale. She's reasonable, and if you know anything about designer goods, is that there is a resale value that is maintained. Sorry, did you prefer she carry a potato sack, is that artsy enough for you) And it's not so much that this woman wasn't a bohemian that I didn't take to her. She told me she had an art degree and once had paintings exhibited in NYC galleries. It's that I didn't feel art and creativity pulsed through her, like a life force. I don't even mean she didn't choose it as a career path. I'm a failed actor. I gave up on it long ago. But I need creation in my life and I need someone who needs creation. It's a value that I esteem very highly. That she wore vintage glasses and talked about selling herself to corporate America, she just doesn't get it. Not everyone can be a celebrated writer, painter, actor. But some people hold creation personally close. It's something spiritual. This makes me want to vomit. The fact that he only sees the purity of creativity through one path. The path of trying and not succeeding??? So if you succeed in life, that makes you a sell out???? The path of trying so hard but not succeeding, that, that makes you a true artist. I once met a writer/film maker/actor, like lots of actors he was a waiter, like lots of writers he wore thick rimmed glasses, sorry, he made tons of money and can do whatever he wants, take public transport like a peasant, to a $500 dinner at a 3 michelin star restaurant. I think you need to reevaluate yourself and your own values, and why you are feel that your path is the only right path to the purity of artistic integrity. One of my best friends was a struggling actress for years, barely broke even producing her own plays, wore second hand clothes, was modest with money, and now, she has a TV show, and is living her dream, she doesn't want to buy a $5000 purse, but she will spend $5000 to go to some weird artsy culty performing arts workshop that does nothing for me. We are all individuals. 3
Author SycamoreCircle Posted January 24, 2015 Author Posted January 24, 2015 I didn't grill anyone. I broached the subject. I contended nothing. I think I am evaluating myself, what I care about, what I want. I'm thinking and speaking about beliefs I hold that are very close and personal to me. They expose inconsistencies and contradictions within my thinking. Why it's necessary for people to respond with such larger than life reactions, I don't know. I WANNA' VOMIT. Well lady, vomit. Why don't you try to divulge some of your hurt, your indulgences, your deficiencies? I admit, I have a very narrow notion of what constitutes artistic integrity. I mean it ties into my political outlook, how I was raised, what I've experienced. We can all hide very comfortably behind what we're SUPPOSED to think, what we're SUPPOSED to feel.
NopeNah Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 I didn't grill anyone. I broached the subject. I contended nothing. I think I am evaluating myself, what I care about, what I want. I'm thinking and speaking about beliefs I hold that are very close and personal to me. They expose inconsistencies and contradictions within my thinking. Why it's necessary for people to respond with such larger than life reactions, I don't know. I WANNA' VOMIT. Well lady, vomit. Why don't you try to divulge some of your hurt, your indulgences, your deficiencies? I admit, I have a very narrow notion of what constitutes artistic integrity. I mean it ties into my political outlook, how I was raised, what I've experienced. We can all hide very comfortably behind what we're SUPPOSED to think, what we're SUPPOSED to feel. I get a lot of one night stands by putting on my 'facade'... Seems you're looking for more than that. Again..You have to get over your ex to be able to except other females for who they are. I'm by no means judging..It just appears you're comparing the new women to her. Just saying.
Diezel Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 I listened to her responsibly and then asked, "but do you ever think 'aw, I could have put that money towards a really nice vacation'?" "I can do that and have a nice vacation." How is it they say on the interwebz these days: Pwned. 1
Gaeta Posted January 24, 2015 Posted January 24, 2015 Part of my work to get over my ex is to date. Strictly date. If you only want to date and get entertained why does it matter if the woman you are going out with has a thing for Prada? You are not looking for a relationship, or commitment, or marriage. Who cares if she is materialistic or not, if she is artsy or not. The purpose here is to go out and have fun, sex. You know, for what you want out of being online, just look for someone fun an outgoing and don't dissect their profile as if you were looking for a wife. You will have much more fun!
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