Do you care where your partners went to school? If you are more "elitely" educated?

[markleymassraff]

Let's say you are a person with a high school diploma, Bachelor's degree, a Master's, and are in law school now, and all the schools you went to are pretty elite. Not like Harvard or Princeton, but just schools with good reputations.

 

But the person you are with went to college and has a few degrees as well but didn't go to as elite schools as you.

 

Do you care?

[amaysngrace]

Yea....if you're a superficial snob....

[Omei]

No I wouldn't even care if they didn't go to college.

[Otter2569]

If you / they did I would be out the door so fast that your head would spin. The education you have and where you went to school is in no way a reflection of the person and their character.

 

I dated a woman whos family grew up poor but were all very intelligent and went to very good schools (mostly on scholarship). They were relatively successful however they were some of the nerdiest, most arrogant, self important, know-it-alls that I ever met. Her kids were little arrogant smart asses too and could not assimilate with regular people.

 

Good luck living in the real world!!!

[CarrieT]

My new husband got multiple degrees from Yale and could care less that all my degrees were from various CalState schools...

[callingyouuu]

I don't personally care, but I personally know of Ivy Leaguers who feel this way. Much more common among "old money" families than everyone else.

[lovexocoach]

Depends on your social status usually.

 

For most people, it really doesn't matter that much.

 

Degrees, diplomas, and all those letters after your name don't necessarily mean you're a good or better partner in a relationship.

[USMCHokie]

I've always operated under the assumption that "elite" school = douche. It has yet to fail me thusfar.

[sweetjasmine]

No, I've never cared. I don't think I'd be very compatible with someone who never went to college at all, but the actual schools are something that I'd never care about. H started out in community college and then transferred to a 4 year school. Never crossed my mind to be judgmental about it.

 

Much more common among "old money" families than everyone else.

 

Yup, though even then, it was more about whether their partners were also old money with good connections. One of my classmates, who was actually a really nice person and not a complete d-bag, broke up with his sweet, awesome girlfriend because her family wasn't "on the same level." His family liked her, but they didn't think she was of high enough status to be right for him, so they pressured him, and he caved. Last I heard, he ended up marrying another classmate who came from money as old as his. I didn't really hang out with many people like that in college, so among my social circle, that was the only situation I can think of where someone was concerned with school and "breeding." The rest of my friends and acquaintances didn't seem to care at all.

[curly sue]

I'm working on my Master's now. I prefer the person I'm with to at least have a Bachelor's. It's actually the only filter I use on OLD. But the particular school doesn't matter to me as long as it's a real one (not one of these bs for-profit, non-accredited diploma factories). Just a personal preference.

[MissTrudy]

Let's say you are a person with a high school diploma, Bachelor's degree, a Master's, and are in law school now, and all the schools you went to are pretty elite. Not like Harvard or Princeton, but just schools with good reputations.

 

But the person you are with went to college and has a few degrees as well but didn't go to as elite schools as you.

 

Do you care?

 

I'm Ivy League educated and I prefer someone who has a degree from a good school, but I know that so many factors impact where one goes to college so I don't really care so long as as the person has a bachelor's degree and a good job.

I am not going to lie, I used to be more judgmental, but after awhile I realized that people who went to well-known schools do not necessarily know more.

 

There is something really important to take into consideration about Ivy Leagues and other "good" schools. They are expensive. Tuition was over $40,000 a year when I was in undergrad, and at the institution where I'm a graduate student, it's nearly $60,000/year. I have a friend from high school who got into Columbia, she didn't qualify for financial aid, and her parents had enough saved up for her to attend, BUT they only had enough to cover her undergrad, and not med school. So she decided to go to a school in-state, where she got a full merit scholarship to a small school. She eventually did go to Columbia for a professional degree. I know a lot of people who had to decide between shelling out thousands on a private school or going to a much cheaper (or free!) public school.

 

I've interacted with enough ivy league undergrads (from when I was an undergrad and when I've TA'ed classes as a grad student), and grad students to know that being at an elite school does not mean you're necessarily smarter than someone who went to a state school. Once I a met community college student studying sociology who knew just as much as my ivy league PhD student friends in the discipline; they confirmed that some of the works she was talking about were things they hadn't read until they started grad school.

 

Instead I look for partners who are able to get good jobs, are intellectually challenged by their jobs, and challenge me intellectually.

[Eighty_nine]

I have a masters degree and I prefer to date people with a bachelors degree or higher; where they went to school doesn't matter.

Although I'm currently dating someone whose only post HS is a certificate in bio manufacturing. It doesn't matter to me at all that he doesn't have a 4 year degree. That's love! Haha.

[USMCHokie]

Serious question though...for those who have been out of school for a while, what is your opinion on the direction of a lot of the "elite" schools (not necessarily Ivy League only) towards social "equality" and "inclusion" and oftentimes very biased supression of academic expression and speech...?

 

I've been getting my daily College Fix lately and it just shocks and disappoints me the way prestigious schools are churning out hypersensitive, fragile, and overly entitled twits...

 

Thoughts...?

[Photofinish]

I just require them to be in college or have graduated.

I dont really care from where considering I've gone to community college and im now at a public college. I dont mind.

 

I dated someone doing their PHD and he was a total douche. Education and degrees arent everything.

[Eternal Sunshine]

It's not just about "Elite school name".

 

Elite schools typically attract stronger academics and higher entry criteria thus better students and more competition. Marks are usually given relative to other students so the same average in an elite school and "online college of superior education" are not gonna be equal by any means. Employers know this too.

 

I have attended both, an elite and non-elite school. The amount of work I needed to do to keep my average high in an elite school was ridicuoilsly higher than in a non-elite school.

 

So yeah, I will have more respect for an education completed at an elite school. Not that I would refuse to date anyone that didn't by any means but it's not all about old money and douches. It's about quality of students and quality of education, on average.

[guest569]

Definitely not! Its nice to be proud of your education but at the end of the day, it's what you do with it that counts. And if you have nothing better to do than look down on others over something rather trivial then it hasn't paid off. I'm quite amazed that some people would refuse to date people purely because they did not go to university. You're not an employee, you're a potential partner. I wouldn't date someone who is a snob.

[Gottabestrong]

But the person you are with went to college and has a few degrees as well but didn't go to as elite schools as you.

 

Do you care?

 

No, not at all.

[amaysngrace]

Serious question though...for those who have been out of school for a while, what is your opinion on the direction of a lot of the "elite" schools (not necessarily Ivy League only) towards social "equality" and "inclusion" and oftentimes very biased supression of academic expression and speech...?

 

I've been getting my daily College Fix lately and it just shocks and disappoints me the way prestigious schools are churning out hypersensitive, fragile, and overly entitled twits...

 

Thoughts...?

 

According to the OP an elite school is $60K. My niece's university was more expensive than that and it was a five year program.

 

She's very sensitive to the needs of others, lives on her own (with a roommate) and has since she finished, and works her butt off at her job. She's currently taking courses towards her Masters that she's carrying all As in and will go on further to be a Doctor in Computer Engineering.

 

She works really really hard for what she has and isn't entitled to it. And she's far from being a twit, as you say.

 

My son went to a less prestigious college but he chose it for the party life. But he did go to a preparatory high school. Those boys spent a week in the homeless shelter in Camden, sleeping in bags on the floor, and waking up to make repairs, paint hallways and rooms, and cook and serve food to the homeless people. It was a requirement for all students to volunteer there to be eligible for graduation. He actually enjoyed doing that.

 

So personally I have no idea what you're talking about.

[carhill]

Do you care where your partners went to school? If you are more "elitely" educated?

 

Personally, I've never let any successes in life dictate whom was or was not worthy of my presence in social interactions. That's probably due to socialization and being exposed to some of the 'elite' at a young age. I chose to follow a different path. My only real experience has been with workers I employed, who varied widely in social standing and education and experience. We worked side by side, all getting our hands dirty and having casual conversations and beers after work was done. Equals. I just happened to be paying them for their labor because I had the skills to put the jobs together.

 

However, having been educated privately, I do understand socio-economic stratas and that some people are more equal than others, so YMMV. None of us get out of it alive and an elite education, big bucks and knowing all the right people is no guarantee of anything in life. It could end today.

[Phoe]

I went to a decent school. Not Ivy league or anything with serious bragging rights, but I think it's in the Top 15 public universities in the nation.

 

I've never dated anyone else who even went to college. Let alone an "elite" one.

 

I care about people's character, not their resume.

[Noproblem]

Hey, it's your business to care or not

 

If you think the person next door is not good enough for you

 

Just leave him/her already!

[serial muse]

Based on this thread, a more interesting question would be whether you'd dump someone who went to an elite school because s/he did. Sounds like most people would here.

 

That's kind of ... snobbish, IMO. Shrug.

[preraph]

I think it's directly proportionate to how long the degreed person had to wait tables post-graduation. My three friends all gave their eldest great college educations, and all three of them waited tables for 3 years or more post-graduation. Unless you have connections in your field of work, a degree is no longer any guarantee of being able to work in your field. I'm sure those who popped right out of college into a paying job (so many end up in internships to get their foot in the door) probably do have their nose up a bit, but it certainly all comes down to the individual because not everyone is like that. Plus it goes without saying a lot of men aren't looking for an "equal," anyway, sadly.

[guest569]

My ex went to the top schools in the country in a "prestigious" field. I'm still working on a bachelor degree. I was/am really proud of him, but this is not a deciding factor in who I choose to spend the rest of my life with. I have dated a window cleaner who didn't finish high school but it doesn't mean we didnt have fascinating intellectual discussions.

 

Its fine to judge away, but for me personally, it would be stupid to rule people out based on their socioeconomic background, education or career choice. I've not been brought up that way. And you're right serial muse, the snobbery can go either way.

[AVarma]

I'd like them to be curious and well informed but I don't really care about their specific school's prestige. Honestly I can't imagine being with someone that shallow.