JS17 Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 My ex has a new girlfriend 2 1/2 months after we broke up....I actually think he left me for her but I'm not sure, he won't admit to anything. I found out last week that they're in a pretty serious relationship. It's been pretty devastating, I have knots in my stomach all the time and thoughts of them together keep popping into my head. How do you cope with that? What do you do to make it go away?
Skeered Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 Time will make it go away...when you start to have those thoughts pop in your head try to think of something else...or go out with friends to try and get your mind off of it. I'm kinda in a similar situation although glad that my ex is gone when I found out he was in a serious relationship and spending ALOT of time with her I started thinking of them together and things we would do and stuff like that but I had to start putting in mental blocks...I think some of it is jealousy that I am not in a deep relationship as of yet and he's the one who killed "us" and now he's happy happy..that eats me up. Just give it time...but try your hardest not to dwell on it...
Author JS17 Posted March 30, 2005 Author Posted March 30, 2005 Thanks for your reply. I'm in the same situation, neither of us were happy but ultimately it was his decision to not work things out....she may be why, but I'm not sure. I know some of it is jealousy that he is happy and in a relationship and I'm still struggling. It is hard not to dwell on it and when the thoughts enter my head I immediately try to think of something else but it's that initial moment that it pops into your head that you just feel that pain in your chest that hurts so much. A bigger problem for me is the sleep situation. When I actually can sleep, a lot of times it makes it's way into my dreams (or nightmares) and its the thought that jolts me awake in the morning. Is time really the only thing that can fix this?
Skeered Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 Time, self motivation (how bad do you want to move forward) and self help...you can do this with those things...it's a mind game that you are dealing with right now...you need to remember why things weren't so great with him and realize that now the new girl gets to deal with those...it's actually kind of empowering to me when I think about it..I think about all the crap he put me through and all the hurt and then I think that poor girl has no idea...poor poor sap...lol because now I'm free of it and ready to move on to someone better. Also something else I had to realize to is the kind of relationship I am looking for is not just a fling I want a commitment someone I can be best friends with and fall in love with etc. he isn't lookin for that just yet he's looking to find a way to get at me by gettin in someone else's pants... You can do this..one day at a time..at night try your hardest to turn your nightmares into some way of his destruction get tough with him in your thoughts if you can...try not to go to sleep after just having a thought about him either...clear your head and think of plans you have to do other things. Exercise to wear yourself out so you sleep so soundly you can't dream.
gw Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 I know how you feel - my ex of nearly 3 years has a (actually not so new - a few months now) girlfriend. It really gets me that he's happy and found someone else (they got real serious real quick too) when he was a complete cheating a** to me, and I know he has cheated on her too... he strung me along and even cheated on the new silly silly girl with me. and she is letting him do it just like i did. i was absolutely *crazy* about him it drives me NUTS. don't let yourself imagine what they do together...you are just tormenting yourself. i would say try to block it out of your mind altogether...if you keep thinking about it it stays fresh in your mind and can never fade into not being painful anymore. find something or someone else to focus on
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