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should i be concern i caught my ex driving by my house?

jamie353352

By jamie353352,
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jamie353352

jamie353352

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We have been broken up for almost a year. My neighborhood is hidden off any main road and a private residential area. Its a circle neighborhood so its you really have to be know where it is in order to drive by it. This was the first time I've caught him and when i told my friends about it they were concern. One of them is friends with a girl who is friends with his current gf. So she messaged that friend against my wishes and told her to tell the gf to tell her bf to stay away. My friend called me to tell me that they were both on the car and "they had gotten lost looking for a co-worker's house", that seems innocent and I want to believe that story but that's not what bothers me.

 

He was stalking me on FB and Instagram a few months after we broke up AND when i blocked him, I knew he was keeping tabs because he accidentally sent me friend requests and then cancelled them. he started following my sister on her social media pages. She even moved out of town for a few months and he knew that without us having any mutual connections. That information was private, and even his boss happened to find out about it just as soon as my sister left. He was the one who broke up with me to go with his new lady, who happened to be my best friend at the time. I don't understand the situation and as much as I want to brush it off I find it rather concerning. When we were dating he was always checking maps and his GPS so he would never get lost. Is it all coincidence that he happened to get lost in my neighborhood? Am I making a storm in a glass or should I really be concerned?

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WonderWoman911

WonderWoman911

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You should be concerned if you see him around your neighborhood again. Snooping around on someone's IG or FB is typical behavior people do when they're not dating a person anymore, although that's still weird behavior. That's their way of trying to figure out what you've been up to, who you're dating, etc. But if you see him stalking you physically, or driving around your neighborhood, that will raise an eyebrow.

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SycamoreCircle

SycamoreCircle

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Yes, he drove by your house to see what he could see.

 

Yes, you're making a big deal out of this.

 

If this sort of thing persists or takes on different manifestations, then you should become concerned.

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Standard-Fare

Standard-Fare

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When you caught him driving by, did you notice anyone else in the car? I can't imagine any good reason why his current GF would say she was part of that if she wasn't. So if you believe that, why would they BOTH be driving around your area together?

 

Either way I don't buy that your ex got "lost" in a private residential area that just happened to be where you live. I'd trust your instincts of concern.

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jamie353352

jamie353352

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You should be concerned if you see him around your neighborhood again. Snooping around on someone's IG or FB is typical behavior people do when they're not dating a person anymore, although that's still weird behavior. That's their way of trying to figure out what you've been up to, who you're dating, etc. But if you see him stalking you physically, or driving around your neighborhood, that will raise an eyebrow.

 

He's mentioned before that he still cares for me deeply and hes always wondering whats going on in my life. That's why at the beginning when I caught him checking up on me through the social media profiles I've not confronted him. Since I was the dumpee I was still trying to get over the relationship so I kept NC up to this point with him. As much I loved him I have respected his wishes and stayed as far as possible from his home. We both lived on different sides of the city so it has been easy to avoid his home since its also at an equally private location. That's why it bothers me that both him and his gf are stalling outside my front lawn in their car and then take off as soon as they see me.

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jamie353352

jamie353352

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When you caught him driving by, did you notice anyone else in the car? I can't imagine any good reason why his current GF would say she was part of that if she wasn't. So if you believe that, why would they BOTH be driving around your area together?

 

Either way I don't buy that your ex got "lost" in a private residential area that just happened to be where you live. I'd trust your instincts of concern.

 

I didnt get a good close look at the people on the car. My father's car blocked the car. I think I caught a glimpse of the girlfriend too. Not sure, it happened so fast. She also knows exactly where I live since we were both best friends. Even if she was with him. I cant think of another reason why they would be around this are. Especially since my sister was at some point their coworker and the only other coworker in my are lives 5 blocks away from my close off neighborhood with a main road in between. That co-worker told my sister that most of the workers, including himself, got laid off on December.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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You need to send one message TO him, not a mutual friend, but to him!

 

He needs to stop the drive by's. He has NO reason to be in your street. I do not believe for one second it was a co worker. They were just being nosy and trying to see if they could sneak a peak into your house.

 

Get your sis to change her privacy settings, that only people she knows can follow her, she gives permission who can see her tweets.

 

So, his gf is your (ex) best friend?

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jamie353352

jamie353352

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Yes, he drove by your house to see what he could see.

 

Yes, you're making a big deal out of this.

 

If this sort of thing persists or takes on different manifestations, then you should become concerned.

 

Thank you for your imput :) I was okay with the situation on my own but like I said my friends have been panicking about it and they made me second guess myself.

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jamie353352

jamie353352

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You need to send one message TO him, not a mutual friend, but to him!

 

He needs to stop the drive by's. He has NO reason to be in your street. I do not believe for one second it was a co worker. They were just being nosy and trying to see if they could sneak a peak into your house.

 

Get your sis to change her privacy settings, that only people she knows can follow her, she gives permission who can see her tweets.

 

So, his gf is your (ex) best friend?

 

You really think their story is BS? :/

 

Yes, he broke up with me and a few days later he called me on the phone to tell me he had feelings for her. I told him I was okay with that and I even called her to ask her what she felt for him. She said the feelings just developed out of nowhere and she invited me out for coffee. We sat down like mature adults and she asked me what I wanted to do. If i asked her to leave him alone she would. I told her to be happy with him. I only wanted the best for him and if I couldn't make him happy then my only option would be to step aside and let them go. I truly meant that and I kept my word in letting them live their own lives.

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preraph

preraph

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You already know he's stalked you. Of course, this was no accident. And yes, you should be concerned, especially if you have ever known him to act out violently with anyone ever. Be sure to keep your windows covered so he's at least not able to catch a glimpse of you. Park in the garage if possible or around back. You should be keeping a log of all the past stalking behavior including internet screen shots and phone calls, texts, times you've ever seen him "by accident." Then if it should escalate, go to the police with it. Block him every single way possible online so he has no info. And tell your friends and family he's been stalkery and ask them to not EVER talk to him in any way about you to him and to let you know if he is pumping them for info or trying to get sympathy about your breakup from them, because that's the common ploy that usually works to find out info about you.

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jamie353352

jamie353352

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You already know he's stalked you. Of course, this was no accident. And yes, you should be concerned, especially if you have ever known him to act out violently with anyone ever. Be sure to keep your windows covered so he's at least not able to catch a glimpse of you. Park in the garage if possible or around back. You should be keeping a log of all the past stalking behavior including internet screen shots and phone calls, texts, times you've ever seen him "by accident." Then if it should escalate, go to the police with it. Block him every single way possible online so he has no info. And tell your friends and family he's been stalkery and ask them to not EVER talk to him in any way about you to him and to let you know if he is pumping them for info or trying to get sympathy about your breakup from them, because that's the common ploy that usually works to find out info about you.

 

 

Thanks for the tips! He wasn't the violent type but he was always angry.

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