For men who enjoy strip clubs, what are your thoughts on your partner going to strip?

[Otter2569]

Its just like Betrayed says...most guys go see strippers with their buddies and it is nothing more than drinks and women taking their tops off.

 

Most guys and most strippers are NOT looking for sex. Everyone should know that strippers will take your $$ all day long if you are stupid enough to throw it away. Plus lap dances get expensive - $20 minimum. Strippers always ask for $ for music and a drink so there goes another $10. You get some boobs in your face and a few grinds of the hip.

 

I've been to dozens of strip clubs in dozens of cities / countries. I've gotten lap dances and private dances but until recently was NEVER offered sex. Honestly I never ever went there looking for sex. The place down the road is apparently running a "full service" operation. My married friends clued me in on that one. My buddy bought me a lap dance and I was propositioned for the first time in my life. They even take debit cards LOL

 

ps - My married friends are the ones who want to go to the strip clubs.

[almond]

Not everyone eats cheeseburgers, not everyone has a Golden Retreiver, not everyone plays tennis...Nowhere in my post do I use the word "every" or "all"....

 

Get where I am going here...?

 

Lol. You're again stating the exact point that I have been making since my second response to this thread. I responded to a poster who stated that EVERY man who goes to a strip club would have sex with the strippers if they had the money. I replied that while many do, this does not apply to all.

 

I gave a bachelor party as an example...and asked if he truly believed that EVERY man in attendance would have sex with the strippers if they could...you then responded to that statement "pretty much." So as I did with the first poster to make a generalisation and apply to it all men, I responded to you and advised that this is not the case. Indeed...not everyone eats cheeseburgers, and not everyone wants to screw strippers just because they're nice to look at. You're disagreeing with my points but making the same ones without realising...lol.

 

I guess it just seemed as though, from the general tone of your post, that you believe its a very rare occurence ...and i disagree....

 

I have read back over my posts, and no idea how you came to that conclusion. You've certainly misinterpreted my tone. "Very rare occurrence?" Here are a few lines from my posts that may help clarify my position...

 

"And of course plenty of sex happens at strip clubs! And I'm sure that many men go off and jerk it afterwards. But I disagree that all men that enter a strip club would have sex with the strippers if they could afford it."

 

..

 

"Plenty of men that visit strip clubs fit your theory there. But plenty of others don't."

 

I am sure it's not rare, and if you re-read my posts, my choice of words clearly indicates this. Your basis for calling me naive is invalid.

 

 

As far as the bachelor party comment goes.....well, lets just say that aside from ones I witnessed while working at the clubs and ones that I actually attended, that I have vast more experience than you do -so for you to call into question my comments- when you likely havent been to a single bachelor party in your entire life....well....I dont quite know how to respond...

 

TFY

 

Call into question your comments?

 

I don't need to have been to any bachelor parties to know that not ALL men that attend would have sex with strippers just because the opportunity arose. It's common sense. This is all I've been saying throughout this thread, but I suppose that's been lost along the way somehow.

 

Hope this clarifies things a bit for you

[autumnnight]

This is an interesting original question. I would assume most men who go to strip clubs and/or receive dances, etc. would NOT be okay with their SO stripping or giving dances, etc.

 

However, the girls at most strip clubs are SOMEBODY's SO, mother, daughter, sister....I guess as long as it isn't yours it's fine?

[almond]

I'm surprised you don't mind the scenario quoted, though! There seems to be a world of difference between sitting in a public room and watching girls dancing, and having nine naked woman in your boyfriend's room, some of whom are inserting objects into their vaginas :\ even when you're at a strip club other than breasts it's quite rare to see full frontal, legs-splayed nudity on the stage (at the clubs in my country anyway), although when private dancing of course that stuff happens. But having a naked woman in my boyfriend's hotel room masturbating while being watched is a bit too close to infidelity in my eyes.

 

Each to their own, though!

 

Oh well to say I didn't mind at all would be stretching it a bit...lol. In fact, it was a bit confronting for me when he first told me the plan...strip clubs are not my thing at all!

 

And just like you...if my boyfriend decided to get a private dance, we would have some serious problems. We have discussed what's okay and what's not re: this sort of stuff, and for me, lap dances definitely cross a line. I'm not okay with that at all and he knows this and respects that entirely.

 

My boyfriend went on this trip. The brother of the groom-to-be booked and paid for a bunch of naked waitresses and two strippers to come to the hotel room on the second morning as a surprise for his brother...they were to arrive that night.

 

My bf called me after he found out, and explained what was happening. We chatted, and I told him that from what I'd gathered, the private shows got pretty intense. He asked me if I was okay with it, and expressed that he regrets being in this position. I explained that I felt a bit weird and that it was pretty full on, but that I trust him to always act appropriately and show respect for me...even when I'm not there. And I really do. I wasn't going to ask him to leave the hotel room - that would have been very uncomfortable for him. I guess I weighed it up...he would have been razzed by the boys pretty hard for leaving, and I felt that it was worth me feeling slightly uncomfortable for a bit to spare him having to do that. After our chat, I assured him that I was now totally at ease about it all, and I really was. I think our discussions just helped me to see it for what it really is...crude entertainment, and a silly tradition that I don't particularly like, but won't necessarily harm me or my relationship in any way.

 

He was great about it. He was so considerate of how I was feeling, and expressed that he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable or disrespected in any way - this helped a lot. I felt okay about the whole thing because we communicated and he helped me to feel at ease. He kept in contact via sms throughout the night, and after the shows were over, he popped out and called me and we laughed at the ridiculousness of a woman inserting a cucumber into her vagina in front of a group of strangers. It was pretty interesting to hear all the details to be honest! Lol. He told me it was fairly awkward for everyone, and that after a little while, they all just wanted to go back to the jacuzzi and keep drinking and chatting.

 

Didn't feel even close to being in the same ballpark as infidelity to me. He didn't betray me or love me any less because he witnessed a woman performing sexual acts as part of a show...there was nine guys there, he just happened to be part of the audience. Although believe me, I can totally appreciate how this would be totally off-limits for some!

 

For me though, it ended up just being a bit of an uncomfortable situation we found ourselves in, that we worked through fine and together. Trust and communication was key in that situation I guess

Edited January 26, 2015 by almond

[Nikki Sahagin]

This is an interesting original question. I would assume most men who go to strip clubs and/or receive dances, etc. would NOT be okay with their SO stripping or giving dances, etc.

 

However, the girls at most strip clubs are SOMEBODY's SO, mother, daughter, sister....I guess as long as it isn't yours it's fine?

 

THIS is basically what I was getting at.

I think it's hugely hypocritical.

Most men would not want their partner to strip/lap dance but would happily watch it.

It's a double standard.

[AVarma]

I would absolutely not be ok with a girlfriend stripping. I mean look.. some things are different for boys and girls. I may go to a strip club but there is no way I see it as a respectful profession. There is absolutely no way I would be ok with a partner being a stripper. Sorry.