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For men who enjoy strip clubs, what are your thoughts on your partner going to strip?

Nikki Sahagin

By Nikki Sahagin
in General Relationship Discussion

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Nikki Sahagin Established Member

Nikki Sahagin

Posted
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Fortunately this has not come up in my own relationship as my present bf says he is not bothered by lap/strip clubs (he's been twice). I've been 5 times (twice whilst single and three whilst in a relationship). For me now, lap/strip clubs are a deal breaker in relationships for me but I wondered for men who do enjoy strip/lap clubs who hope that their partner is on board, do you think you would feel comfortable with your partner stripping or performing a lap dance for another man?

almond Established Member

almond

Posted
Posted

I'm not a man, but I thought I'd weigh in anyway. I think that there are definite differences between a man watching a stripper, and a woman actually stripping.

 

 

My partner recently went on a bachelor trip, four nights away in a hotel with his friends. They had 3 strippers and 6 naked waitresses in their room on one of the nights. I won't go into detail, but the private strippers go pretty hard (use of dildos etc.).

 

 

I am comfortable with this (I don't particularly like the idea though ;)). I don't expect my bf to close his eyes or refuse to attend a friend's bachelor party because he will see some bits. But, I very much doubt that he would be comfortable with me performing the acts that these women were, and I don't find that hypocritical at all.

 

 

Bachelor parties are the only time he would ever be involved in this sort of stuff, so when the occasion calls for it, he watches strippers. However, he would be very far from comfortable with me stripping or performing sex acts for strange men. I find that position quite reasonable.

 

 

If he decided to randomly start visiting strip clubs, we'd definitely have a problem though!

  • Like 3
Revolver Established Member

Revolver

Posted
Posted

Dudes go to strip clubs to try to have sex with the strippers... Period. Lol at traveling miles from your home to just get a 3 minute lap dance. Even though it's more blow jobs that happen there than vaginal sex

  • Like 1
almond Established Member

almond

Posted
Posted
Dudes go to strip clubs to try to have sex with the strippers... Period. Lol at traveling miles from your home to just get a 3 minute lap dance. Even though it's more blow jobs that happen there than vaginal sex

 

So all guys that go to a strip club only ever do so to try and have sex with strippers?

 

I see.

 

Luv me sum sweeping generalisations :rolleyes:

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

I can't believe there are people out there (mostly women) who still want to believe no sex actually takes place at strip clubs or deriving therefrom. Do all men get sex while there? No, because they can't all afford it. Are they going into the car or the men's room to "fulfill" themselves during or after? Of course. Why else would they even go? That's ALL it's about.

almond Established Member

almond

Posted
Posted (edited)
I can't believe there are people out there (mostly women) who still want to believe no sex actually takes place at strip clubs or deriving therefrom. Do all men get sex while there? No, because they can't all afford it. Are they going into the car or the men's room to "fulfill" themselves during or after? Of course. Why else would they even go? That's ALL it's about.

 

Why else would they go? Bachelor parties are one example. Do you really feel that every man in attendance at one of these events would have sex with a stripper if they had the $$?

 

And of course plenty of sex happens at strip clubs! And I'm sure that many men go off and jerk it afterwards. But I disagree that all men that enter a strip club would have sex with the strippers if they could afford it.

 

Call me naive...but lots of men simply go there on a night out with their friends. They laugh, watch strippers, drink and talk crap. Plenty of guys treat it as a bar with live entertainment...something to look at. Not everyone at a club buys lap dances.

 

Of course, this certainly doesn't apply to everyone. But nothing really applies to everyone across the board, does it?

 

Plenty of men that visit strip clubs fit your theory there. But plenty of others don't.

Edited by almond
  • Like 2
Ebelskiver Established Member

Ebelskiver

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I was a stripper for a few years in my early 20's and I can absolutley garuantee that I never had sex with a customer. No blow jobs, no hand jobs, no touching of any kind. I did bust a guy's head open once for licking my breast during a table dance (not lap dance, you dance in front of, not on, the customer). I suppose some of the girls probably took the guys up on their offers. I was certainly propositioned. Aside from not being something I would ever do, it never even made financial sense. They would offer $500-1000 for sex and I would make at least that dancing every night. Why have sex?

 

I was young and probably a bit naive, but I never even knew of a single girl who prostituted herself.

  • Like 4
ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted
I can't believe there are people out there (mostly women) who still want to believe no sex actually takes place at strip clubs or deriving therefrom. Do all men get sex while there? No, because they can't all afford it. Are they going into the car or the men's room to "fulfill" themselves during or after? Of course. Why else would they even go? That's ALL it's about.

 

Maybe in your honky-tonk bars in the industrial areas of your town that stuff goes down in the toilets of the clubs, but it sure doesn't in the 'gentlemens clubs' type inner city establishments that Ive visited. cctvs all through the place, bouncers hovering around everywhere, media that would love to report prostitution going on and shutting them down. There are no queues of guys outside the girls change rooms waiting their turn. Its like me saying all the girls hens nights when they get boozed and have strippers is like the video clips I see up on websites where the strippers are getting blown by numerous women in the audience (with or two one going backstage or out to the van for more) is what typically goes down on bachelorette parties.

  • Like 1
gaius Established Member

gaius

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Never really got the appeal of paying a woman a lot of money not to have sex with me. :confused: Just to tease me. No thanks. And I wouldn't exclusively date a woman who touches other guys on a regular basis. Even if she was one of the more socially acceptable ones that just make them turn their head and cough.

  • Like 2
preraph Established Member

preraph

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Posted

Nothing goes on on the floor. Plenty goes on in the backroom (depending on state laws) and deals are negotiated on the floor for off-premises --plus lap dancing is sex with clothes on.

  • Like 1
NJ123 Established Member

NJ123

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Posted
Nothing goes on on the floor. Plenty goes on in the backroom (depending on state laws) and deals are negotiated on the floor for off-premises --plus lap dancing is sex with clothes on.

 

Not true. It wasn't sex, but 1 stripper put her hands down my pants, and another let me spank her with my hands tied with her bra right on the floor. I'm still confused to this day why they did that to me since I didn't see them do it or allow them to do that for anyone else there. And for the lap dance the stripper let me touch her breasts almost throughout it. I think my friend I was with got in her ear for that saying it was my first time going to one so she let me do that.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted
I was a stripper for a few years in my early 20's and I can absolutley garuantee that I never had sex with a customer. No blow jobs, no hand jobs, no touching of any kind. I did bust a guy's head open once for licking my breast during a table dance (not lap dance, you dance in front of, not on, the customer). I suppose some of the girls probably took the guys up on their offers. I was certainly propositioned. Aside from not being something I would ever do, it never even made financial sense. They would offer $500-1000 for sex and I would make at least that dancing every night. Why have sex?

 

I was young and probably a bit naive, but I never even knew of a single girl who prostituted herself.

 

there were very few strippers working the strip in kings cross oz that didnt have sex......it was illegal and every couple of months or so they would do raids to fill their quotas...and hit all four clubs at once........take the doorman the ticketers and the spruikers.....and charge them with aiding and abetting.....and prostitution...two hours later every body was back at work......and we would cycle through the clubs...and there was sex at every one.....in fact.....if you didnt have sex you were docked.....deb

compulsivedancer Established Member

compulsivedancer

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I'm fine with my guy visiting a strip club with friends, getting lap dances, as long as there's nothing happening in the back room. I'd probably be interested in going with him once or twice... But if he were to stop in there on the way home from work or visit on his own or excessively, I'd be upset.

 

I have a (male) friend who used to get lollipops, dipped in "juice," if you know what I mean. Ick. So not okay.

 

As far as stripping...if she did it once as a party thing, and it didn't lead to anything else, okay, she got a little crazy. But doing it regularly or professionally...um, no.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
Why else would they go? Bachelor parties are one example. Do you really feel that every man in attendance at one of these events would have sex with a stripper if they had the $$?]

 

Pretty much....as a matter of fact, as far as bachelor parties go, if they dont get sex then they wont feel like they got their moneys worth...

 

And of course plenty of sex happens at strip clubs! And I'm sure that many men go off and jerk it afterwards. But I disagree that all men that enter a strip club would have sex with the strippers if they could afford it.

 

Its common knowledge that many strip clubs(more in seedy areas) will offer sex to patrons...especially regulars..

 

Call me naive...but lots of men simply go there on a night out with their friends. They laugh, watch strippers, drink and talk crap. Plenty of guys treat it as a bar with live entertainment...something to look at. Not everyone at a club buys lap dances.

 

You may be a bit naive...sorry...Sure, some do as you say...others dont..

 

Of course, this certainly doesn't apply to everyone. But nothing really applies to everyone across the board, does it?

 

See above..

Plenty of men that visit strip clubs fit your theory there. But plenty of others don't.

 

Worked as a bouncer in several strip clubs for several years..Know a bit about the underbelly of the business.. Ill agree that not everyone is there to get laid or bust a nut, and some clubs are strictly hands off, but then there are always the others...And even in the fancier "no sex" places it was pretty common for some of the girls to make "side deals" to meet in hotels...mostly with regulars..

 

TFY

almond Established Member

almond

Posted
Posted (edited)
Worked as a bouncer in several strip clubs for several years..Know a bit about the underbelly of the business.. Ill agree that not everyone is there to get laid or bust a nut, and some clubs are strictly hands off, but then there are always the others...And even in the fancier "no sex" places it was pretty common for some of the girls to make "side deals" to meet in hotels...mostly with regulars..

 

TFY

 

You made a sweeping generalisation that if a group hires a stripper for a bachelor party and they don't get to have sex with her, they don't feel like they got their money's worth. This is simply not true in many cases. End of. I'm sure many do though, of course! However, not every guy will try to have sex with a prostitute/stripper just because there is one in front of them, and that's a simple and obvious truth.

 

You then tell me that plenty of sex occurs in seedier strip clubs, right after I said the exact same thing.

 

You then call me naive and state that some men do have sex in strip clubs, but some don't...again, after I've said the exact same thing...lol!

 

The paragraph that you posted above, where you agree that not everyone is there to get laid or bust a nut, echoes exactly what I've been saying...yet again ;)

Edited by almond
  • Like 1
spanishchick00 Established Member

spanishchick00

Posted
Posted

So, for the women that go see male strippers, or even the "professional" male dancers-aka Chippendales, Thunder from Down Under-how likely is it for them to get sex? Do women even have sex with male strippers?

  • Like 1
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted (edited)
So, for the women that go see male strippers, or even the "professional" male dancers-aka Chippendales, Thunder from Down Under-how likely is it for them to get sex? Do women even have sex with male strippers?

 

I don't know....

 

I mean, I've seen the HBO specials where the guys really grind on the women and like literally have dry-hump sex with them...I mean, more intense than Magic Mike.

 

I've went twice to a male review cuz other gfs dragged me to it. I just giggled a lot. I don't get turned on my strange men dancing for dollar bills.

 

I went to a strip club once, even got a lap dance from a chick. It was awkward. I spent most of the time talking to her. You can't touch them, so what's the point?

 

BTW, you know, I actually just realized there was a difference in "touching" rules. I mean, in the male reviews, the guys when they walk around/work the crowd will do the dry-humping, but when it's females, the females just try to get the guy to pay for a private dance...lol. I guess women are aways trying to shake guys down, while guys just give out the dry humps for free (or a few dollar bills)...lol!!!

Edited by Gloria25
  • Like 1
acrosstheuniverse Established Member

acrosstheuniverse

Posted
Posted
My partner recently went on a bachelor trip, four nights away in a hotel with his friends. They had 3 strippers and 6 naked waitresses in their room on one of the nights. I won't go into detail, but the private strippers go pretty hard (use of dildos etc.).

 

I'm a pretty liberal kinda woman, I wouldn't have a problem with my partner going to a strip club if he was at a bachelor party and the party headed there... I wouldn't expect him to leave the group or make a fuss about not going in. Doesn't bother me the idea of sitting and having drinks while watching someone on a pole, but I would be upset if he had actively chosen to get a private dance. I've been to strip clubs before as a teenager and had private dances and it's quite a bit different to the stuff you see when the girls are dancing on the poles. I wouldn't go to a strip club again, personally.

 

I'm surprised you don't mind the scenario quoted, though! There seems to be a world of difference between sitting in a public room and watching girls dancing, and having nine naked woman in your boyfriend's room, some of whom are inserting objects into their vaginas :\ even when you're at a strip club other than breasts it's quite rare to see full frontal, legs-splayed nudity on the stage (at the clubs in my country anyway), although when private dancing of course that stuff happens. But having a naked woman in my boyfriend's hotel room masturbating while being watched is a bit too close to infidelity in my eyes.

 

Each to their own, though!

  • Like 1
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
You made a sweeping generalisation that if a group hires a stripper for a bachelor party and they don't get to have sex with her, they don't feel like they got their money's worth. This is simply not true in many cases. End of. I'm sure many do though, of course! However, not every guy will try to have sex with a prostitute/stripper just because there is one in front of them, and that's a simple and obvious truth.

 

You then tell me that plenty of sex occurs in seedier strip clubs, right after I said the exact same thing.

 

You then call me naive and state that some men do have sex in strip clubs, but some don't...again, after I've said the exact same thing...lol!

 

The paragraph that you posted above, where you agree that not everyone is there to get laid or bust a nut, echoes exactly what I've been saying...yet again ;)

 

 

Not everyone eats cheeseburgers, not everyone has a Golden Retreiver, not everyone plays tennis...Nowhere in my post do I use the word "every" or "all"....

 

Get where I am going here...?

 

I guess it just seemed as though, from the general tone of your post, that you believe its a very rare occurence ...and i disagree....As far as the bachelor party comment goes.....well, lets just say that aside from ones I witnessed while working at the clubs and ones that I actually attended, that I have vast more experience than you do -so for you to call into question my comments- when you likely havent been to a single bachelor party in your entire life....well....I dont quite know how to respond...:laugh:

 

TFY

BetrayedH Established Member

BetrayedH

Posted
Posted

Hmm. Lots of generalizations going on here.

 

I've been to plenty of strip clubs across the spectrum. My wife was liberal in this area and never bothered by it; being respectful to the women was paramount to her. She even went with me a few times. I've gotten lap dances and private dances but never sex or a BJ. Generally, I refrained blowing large amounts on anything and actually tried more to spread the wealth, ensuring that each dancer got a few bucks.

 

Never once had an inkling of requesting sex from a stripper. I even spent a week in Amsterdam and didn't partake in the festivities there (although I watched plenty). It was fun to fantasize but I'm a monogamist.

 

Also been to a bachelor party that was similar to the one described earlier (two girls playing with toys and each other). It was actually just mostly awkward to me (buncha dudes getting worked up watching some chicks). I had no desire to get with them, although I did hear that one guy got a BJ in the restroom.

 

I don't really think I'm that much of an exception.

  • Like 3
mario_C Established Member

mario_C

Posted
Posted (edited)

Working late on weekends, I tend to drive clients to and from the strip clubs a bit and it's usually the same story: "Yeah, it's a bachelor party so we have to go, nudge nudge wink." :rolleyes:Very rare did I drive a couple (two at once!) there.

The dancers don't use Ub3r (unless they only go Black). While waiting outside my car doing the limo driver thing, I would see them being herded into a van by a gross looking scrawny guy to go back "home". Sad.

To misquote the great George Carlin, strip clubs are nature's way of telling young men they have too much money.

Edited by mario_C
Yes, I see what I did there - "go Black" hurr
MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted (edited)
Fortunately this has not come up in my own relationship as my present bf says he is not bothered by lap/strip clubs (he's been twice). I've been 5 times (twice whilst single and three whilst in a relationship). For me now, lap/strip clubs are a deal breaker in relationships for me but I wondered for men who do enjoy strip/lap clubs who hope that their partner is on board, do you think you would feel comfortable with your partner stripping or performing a lap dance for another man?

 

I don't think you can equate someone's comfort with their SO being a stripper and their comfort level with their SO being a patron at a strip club. The two are very different things.

 

I'm a woman, I've been to strip clubs, I've enjoyed myself when I've gone. I've only been to strip clubs where women are stripping though, not men, not really interested in the male stripper thing. I've also been to the strip club with a boyfriend. I wouldn't have a problem with a bf going once in a while. For me, it's like porn. It's entertainment. It's not "real" it's not like he's going to go home with the stripper or sleep with them. As long as he weren't addicted to strip clubs (or porn) or preferred it over me, infrequent enjoyment would be fine. Ideally we could go together though if he wants to go.

 

As for sex happening at strip clubs, while I'm sure it can happen and does, in many strip clubs there is a strict policy against it and many also have a no touching policy. A couple of the ones I've been to have "bouncer" type guys there who make sure men aren't getting carried away and touching the strippers or assaulting them. I remember at one some man was getting a lap dance and decided to lick the strippers nipple, she slapped him and the bouncer threw him out. So while some clubs may have a private room where people do God knows what or some strippers meet behind the building or something and moonlight as prostitutes, it's largely not like that from what I've seen.

Edited by MissBee
MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted (edited)
I was a stripper for a few years in my early 20's and I can absolutley garuantee that I never had sex with a customer. No blow jobs, no hand jobs, no touching of any kind. I did bust a guy's head open once for licking my breast during a table dance (not lap dance, you dance in front of, not on, the customer). I suppose some of the girls probably took the guys up on their offers. I was certainly propositioned. Aside from not being something I would ever do, it never even made financial sense. They would offer $500-1000 for sex and I would make at least that dancing every night. Why have sex?

 

I was young and probably a bit naive, but I never even knew of a single girl who prostituted herself.

 

Saw this after my post, maybe I saw you that night. :p:laugh:

 

But your experience as a stripper is pretty much what I've observed at the clubs I've been to.

 

Like any job I'm sure you have certain clubs and places where people are doing all kinds of things but it is overblown and false to make it seem like well duh of course strippers are default prostitutes and all men go to strip clubs to have sex with them and it is for sure allowed.

 

Funny thing too is in almost all the times I've visited strip clubs, I've seen lots of couples (men and women) as patrons, women and their gfs, men who come alone and men in groups. It hasn't ever been just a club full of men looking for sex. As a side note: in almost all the clubs I've been to the strippers use the same ladies room as the female customers and I've overhead many of their conversations and they are quite mundane like any other person talking to their coworker about going home to sleep or some mishap on the job, haven't as yet heard any of them whispering about the paid sex they're going to have.

Edited by MissBee
MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted
Not everyone eats cheeseburgers, not everyone has a Golden Retreiver, not everyone plays tennis...Nowhere in my post do I use the word "every" or "all"....

 

Get where I am going here...?

 

I guess it just seemed as though, from the general tone of your post, that you believe its a very rare occurence ...and i disagree....As far as the bachelor party comment goes.....well, lets just say that aside from ones I witnessed while working at the clubs and ones that I actually attended, that I have vast more experience than you do -so for you to call into question my comments- when you likely havent been to a single bachelor party in your entire life....well....I dont quite know how to respond...:laugh:

 

TFY

 

The logical flaw is that if you're at a bachelor party, those guys are your friends and/or the people you know (I assume you don't just show up at random bachelor parties across the nation), therefore the common denominator would be you and the guys you know, even if you went to 100 bachelor parties, so it is not really an objective reflection on other men and what they do at bachelor parties or what they want and expect but a reflection of your friends/your circle and what they do.

  • Like 1
spanishchick00 Established Member

spanishchick00

Posted
Posted
I don't know....

 

I mean, I've seen the HBO specials where the guys really grind on the women and like literally have dry-hump sex with them...I mean, more intense than Magic Mike.

 

I've went twice to a male review cuz other gfs dragged me to it. I just giggled a lot. I don't get turned on my strange men dancing for dollar bills.

 

I went to a strip club once, even got a lap dance from a chick. It was awkward. I spent most of the time talking to her. You can't touch them, so what's the point?

 

BTW, you know, I actually just realized there was a difference in "touching" rules. I mean, in the male reviews, the guys when they walk around/work the crowd will do the dry-humping, but when it's females, the females just try to get the guy to pay for a private dance...lol. I guess women are aways trying to shake guys down, while guys just give out the dry humps for free (or a few dollar bills)...lol!!!

 

Women don't have the luxury of seeing male strippers butt naked-all of are covered up. Its unfair....

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