Ileana Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 I was dating this guy for five months. Doesn't seem long but we spent every day together and we were extremely close. I had already met his mom, dad, cousins, friends...he referred to the future in terms of "us" and "our" and everyone was joking with him about when the wedding was... Well, two weeks and a day ago...we had our first HUGE fight. And I haven't heard from him since. I'm so confused and hurt and I've been crying non-stop. The fight is a long story...I'll try to be brief...he is a salesman. His company had a three day expo in town. He called one night to say that he had to meet one of his clients at 11 pm. I was upset because I thought it strange that he had to meet a client at 11 pm on a Sunday. That same night he left a message asking me to call him. I did and he didn't pick up or return my call and the next day he said something like it might have got lost in a tunnel or he might have missed it. This made me question too and finally...he had conflicting stories about something. I know I overreacted and pushed the argument too far as I know he would never cheat and was never given a reason not to trust him but, well, I overreacted. It happens. At the end of our phone conversation/huge fight...he wasn't saying anything so I made the mistake of saying "Well, you obviously have nothing else to say so I'm hanging up. Have a nice life". Ooops. I felt bad the next morning and immediately text messaged him and said I was sorry. He sent me a text message back that killed me ... it said "Don't call me ever again. I'm moving on. "have a nice life". I then called him at work and said "I'm really sorry. I know what I said must have hurt you. I'm sorry." He said really snotty "Look, can I call you back?" and slammed the phone down. THEN I sent him an email (all of this the same day) and wrote that what I said I said out of anger and that I never wanted out of the relationship and still don't and that I love him very much and loved what we had and we shouldn't throw it all away. And that I'd like to see him. Well, I got the most OUT of character email back from him...ripping me apart. Saying that the first thing he did after I hung up on him was cancel our trip and he is sending me a bank check for my portion and that he had a million things to say to me but he was in no mood to talk to me. And that he's not feeling the same way right now. And yadda yadda and he said at the end of his email "I'm going to the gym tonight. I don't feel like seeing you. I need some alone time." That's when I waited four days and made that phone call where he didn't pick up. That's it. People fight all the time and this was our first major fight and now I'm cut out of his life?? Does this sound normal or rational to you? I guess we're over?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
NiCoLe20 Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 i think you should leave him alone and let him cool off for a couple of days... if he really cares about you and wants to work it out- he'll give you a call. but since he went as far as cancelling your trip then idk- i might take that as ahint that the relationship is over. i wouldnt be too pushy with him though b/c he seems to get annoyed when you call, email & text him. back off a little bit and lethim come to you if he wants to talk. you already told him you want to stay together and stuff like that so he knows that. you initiated trying to reconcile and work things out so its up to him to meet you halfway... if he doesnt then he's not worth it and move on.
acidrein_08 Posted March 31, 2005 Posted March 31, 2005 Wow turn around and walk the other direction from this dude. It sounds like her is hiding something and especially if he got his stories mixed up becuase that just doesn't happen when you tell the truth. You had every reason to question him, who meets a client that late? He is also being a real jerk so I would forget about him, he might have been a good b/f but it sounds like he might be hiding something from you and has other plans that don't involve you.
redshoes Posted March 31, 2005 Posted March 31, 2005 what a slap in the face! This guy is definitely hiding something. I feel your pain . Something similar happened to me 5 years ago. I was in this relationship for almost 2 years . One day he went to the movies with a friend. Supposably, he went to see an action movie. The following week I wanted to go see a movie with Tom Hanks in it, so I suggested it to him. He said, oh I saw that movie last week it was not so bad. And as soon as he said that there was this complete shock of amazement on his face. You see, he would have never gone to see that movie with his male macho friend. It was too much of a mellow-dramatic film. And as soon as I started to question him...lies lies lies. His story was so out of reach, and since he couldn't handle the truth, he decided it was over. Just like that. We had never had a fight before, and even then, we weren't fighting. But according to him, I was suffocating him. The whole blame was on me. I was devastated. When I'd call , he'd hang up. He completely changed with me. Can you believe it? A 2 year relationship and that's how it ended. Guess what? I found out 3 weeks later that he was seeing someone. I'm not saying that your guy may have cheated, but stay alert. My advice to you? You deserve a real man who knows how to take responsibility in a relationship. You don't just walk away as soon as it gets tense. If he was clean, he would have stayed. And don't think he left because you hung up on him. If that's the best he could come up with, he would have left you for ANY other dumb reason as well.
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