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Posted

I have this girl i am interested in and know for a while now(half a year), i don't generally buy gifts to people but she had bought me something for x-mas.

Admitedly she seemed more interested in me at first, now it kinda dimmed.

 

Her b-day being this month i decided that in return i buy her something also, would be a nice thing to do + i wanted to.

So i got her a cute little scarf and a silver bracelet+rings since i know what she likes.

Ik she told me she didn't want any gifts, she likes to give but not receive :p (yeh right).

But she actually seemed disturbed/shy when she got my gift...nervous?

She didn't say anything and it was all awkward for a while.

Then proceeded by leaving really quick and a goodbye.

 

._.

Wha happened? Should i not have bought anything...maybe i scared her.

I sure got the feeling that she was unconfortable.

Or..

Posted

Since she said she didn't want them, that's maybe why she reacted that way.

 

Are you guys dating?

 

If not, jewelry and a scarf might have been a bit too much. How old are you guys?

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Both 24.

We aren't dating, we fool arround with eachother and she knows i'm not in it for the friend bit. Playing hard to get with me she said before.

She doesn't let people date her easaly, admited to that, so it's a work in progress, but she told me she is interested in me.

She's very old fashioned and puts much emphasis on marriage stuff. mentioned me her 50+years married grandparents at some point.

 

As for the gift...it's tehnically my first time gifting someone actually :) so i thought it was nice.

Did not think it would be to much, if that's the problem.

 

PS: Most people say they don't want gifts me either, but she likes gifts ofc.

She loved her BFF's(girl) gifts and she also told her not to get her anything.

Edited by Xiang
Posted

My guess is that a gift from you has intention which makes her nervous, and feels obigated in some way.

 

She sounds weird, I don't know why you put up with that TBH.

  • Author
Posted

I really like her and respect her values. Perhaps i dated bad women until now.

She seemed like a breath of fresh air and got me interested so i am pursuing in her little chase game.

Admitedly it's taking it's time, not without it's benefits :p. But it's very slow progress with her.

So yeah i'm putting up with it for the moment as she seems like a better candidate than what i ran across before (flaky/cheating women).

But not for long :).

 

As for the gift. No intention...i just didn't know what to buy, and i said that's nice, in fact out mutual friend helped me with the juwerly ideea i just went for the scarf.

 

Maybe she feels guilty/owes me? is the only thing that crossed my mind.

Posted

She doesnt like you at all.

You were trying to buy her affection, which turned her off even more

Posted

What did she get you? Do you work with her? What was the occasion she got you something?

  • Author
Posted
She doesnt like you at all.

You were trying to buy her affection, which turned her off even more

That would be odd considering what we two do, she always wants to hang, but sure i guess that could also be it, so it's a open option.

 

I did not try to buy her afection, i actually felt i ower her for the gift last christmas and considered it a good opportunity to pay it back + i happen to like her.

 

 

Preraph:

Mutual friends, and same hobbies(kinda of like a 2nd job). But i don't work with her.

She got me a gift for x-mas is all, me and her other BFF.

A good luck charm bracelet thing, thoughtfull letter and handmade drawing for me(no details).

Posted
That would be odd considering what we two do, she always wants to hang, but sure i guess that could also be it, so it's a open option.

 

I did not try to buy her afection, i actually felt i ower her for the gift last christmas and considered it a good opportunity to pay it back + i happen to like her.

 

 

Preraph:

Mutual friends, and same hobbies(kinda of like a 2nd job). But i don't work with her.

She got me a gift for x-mas is all, me and her other BFF.

A good luck charm bracelet thing, thoughtfull letter and handmade drawing for me(no details).

 

 

 

sounds like you did a really thoughtful thing, speaking from experience, I have trouble with getting gifts....would rather give also......because when i have gotten gifts from guys especially expensive things like a rolex watch or something like that....theres been a price i wasnt willing to pay...attached pretty firmly even though when i accepted the gift it was stated other wise...i gave the gift back....small gifts are thoughtful and sweet..and it was her bday......she will come around.....just let the gift go...and keep on with her how you have been ....talk to her about it...be honest about how you felt after giving the gift....and that you only wanted to make her feel special....the gift had no other meaning....deb

  • Author
Posted

Yeah i just ran on over here instead of waiting it out.

Will see tommorow or in the next few days what's up :\. Hopefully nothing.

Thanks.

Posted

 

Ik she told me she didn't want any gifts, she likes to give but not receive :p (yeh right)

 

I would like to know if she told you that before you got her a gift or at the moment you gave her the gift?

 

If she told you before that she does not like receiving gift then next time listen. I have learn my lesson the hard way with this one. If someone warns you they are not into receiving gifts don't even try.

 

If she told you that at the moment you gave her the gifts then I find her very rude. You don't ever tell someone you don't want their gifts! You went through the trouble of looking for it and spending for it, she should have simply said thank you and later explain to you in the future she prefers no gifts.

 

If indeed she was 'traditional' she would have never refused your gift in such rude manner.

  • Author
Posted

When she gave me the x-mas gift, i told her i feel odd...i didn't get her anything.

That's when she said it's okay, she likes to give and not receive. So it was mentioned earlier.

 

And now before her birthday. I told her i have a surprise over text, and she said " i don't want any gifts, oh nooes :O".

Then she was slightly upset (seemed to me). Because she doesn't celebrate her b-days, her own words.

Why i also considered it would be nice to give her something, since she didn't get in a long time.

Posted
When she gave me the x-mas gift, i told her i feel odd...i didn't get her anything.

That's when she said it's okay, she likes to give and not receive. So it was mentioned earlier.

 

And now before her birthday. I told her i have a surprise over text, and she said " i don't want any gifts, oh nooes :O".

Then she was slightly upset (seemed to me). Because she doesn't celebrate her b-days, her own words.

Why i also considered it would be nice to give her something, since she didn't get in a long time.

 

Well, the shame is on you.

 

She told you twice.

 

It's alright, you did exactly like me, I got him a gift and it was awkward and he reminded me he had told me no gifts and he was serious about it.

 

With these new information she did nothing wrong per say. She reacted negatively to something she warned you twice about. Next time listen.

Posted
She doesnt like you at all.

You were trying to buy her affection, which turned her off even more

 

I agree with this. I know you answered this post by saying you still hang out together, but in your first post you say this..."Admitedly she seemed more interested in me at first, now it kinda dimmed."

She's gone off the boil for whatrever reason. After 6 mths, maybe she's met someone else in the meantime that takes her fancy more. Maybe she's cooled off on you because you did not make a more assertive approach to having sex with her and she got annoyed and so now has placed you as just a friend now. I know you say the present is in return for xmas present, but don't be surprised she does not connect it that way a month later and she may easily assume you trying to buy her affection (even though you are not), since her interest in you has dimmed so she might see it in a different light unfortunately. Her reaction was not exactly favorable for you.

  • Author
Posted
I agree with this. I know you answered this post by saying you still hang out together, but in your first post you say this..."Admitedly she seemed more interested in me at first, now it kinda dimmed."

She's gone off the boil for whatrever reason. After 6 mths, maybe she's met someone else in the meantime that takes her fancy more. Maybe she's cooled off on you because you did not make a more assertive approach to having sex with her and she got annoyed and so now has placed you as just a friend now. I know you say the present is in return for xmas present, but don't be surprised she does not connect it that way a month later and she may easily assume you trying to buy her affection (even though you are not), since her interest in you has dimmed so she might see it in a different light unfortunately. Her reaction was not exactly favorable for you.

The only reason i mentioned that phrase was so that everyone understands i didnt just buy the gift to a completely new stranger/friend. I try to cover any possible questions in my first post xD.

 

Sure she may have lost interest, still it's just a gift. She can do what she pleases with it, give it to someone else :p. I'd probably never know xD.

Posted
The only reason i mentioned that phrase was so that everyone understands i didnt just buy the gift to a completely new stranger/friend. I try to cover any possible questions in my first post xD.

 

Sure she may have lost interest, still it's just a gift. She can do what she pleases with it, give it to someone else :p. I'd probably never know xD.

 

Did you buy expensive jewelry and rings? If so, this could be the problem. Maybe she felt the gift was too much considering you aren't a couple. Giving her just the scarf may have been better.

  • Author
Posted

nah some simple stuff xD. She's not my girlfriend to receive expensive gifts, lol. But i didn't buy ugly stuff either, thought they were cute.

10$ earrings 10$ scarf. 20$ bracelet :\

Doesn't seem expensive to me, mind you ^^.

  • Author
Posted

I guess she was shy...or i still don't know but all is good.

She had a rough day so we spent some time, made out, progress.

Yay? Yeah i guess yay.

Posted

Why i also considered it would be nice to give her something, since she didn't get in a long time.

 

I don't understand your thought process.

 

She told you TWICE she does not like getting gifts.

 

 

How did you come up with 'it would be nice to give her something'??

  • Author
Posted (edited)

She told me once, when i mentioned i didn't buy her anything.(x-mas)

I assumed that was just her being polite.

"i didn't buy you anything..." <---me being guilty

"it's okay i like to give and not receive" <---her being polite :\.

Not a clear "no i don't like gifts, don't buy me".

 

2nd Time, was when i allready announced the gift to her. (was bought and all)

I told her it's a surprise she replied with "oh noez, i hope you didn't get me any gifts:O".

 

Tehnically she only told me once and i explained what i thought of that.

2nd time seemed well over text. Until i gave her the gift that she was awkward.

Thought i was pretty clear.

But it's ok now :\ i guess.

 

She is just kinda shy/friendless why she doesn't celeberate her b-day. It's not that she doesn't actually want gifts. My conclusion.

Because she loves the gifts she gets from her BFF (our mutual friend)/

Edited by Xiang
Posted
I don't understand your thought process.

 

She told you TWICE she does not like getting gifts.

 

 

How did you come up with 'it would be nice to give her something'??

 

Because a woman has never told a man she didn't want something, and then when said day comes around, she never acts (or is secretly) disappointed that she didn't actually get anything.

 

/sarcasm

Posted

You were trying to buy her affection.

She has no romantic interest in you. I stand by my first post

  • Author
Posted (edited)
You were trying to buy her affection.

She has no romantic interest in you. I stand by my first post

Let's skip the first part and go to the second. How can she not have those feelings for me if we make out? :\

=

Edited by Xiang
Posted

Don't get gifts, especially if you've just met the girl. Like seriously. Being with her and making her laugh is more than what money can ever buy

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