kaisergal Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Please could do with some help or advice... I kissed this guy from work on our xmas do and ended up hanging out all night on our own nowt else happened. Since then he's been weird with me there's no banter and he's awkward round me. It's making me feel fed up as it wasn't like we even had sex Not sure what to do bout this or if I'll ever get no what we had
Zahara Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 You've received a lot of advice based on the other few threads you've created about this guy. Just leave him alone. Focus on your work. What you had? It was a drunken make out session a month ago. 2
Author kaisergal Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 You've received a lot of advice based on the other few threads you've created about this guy. Just leave him alone. Focus on your work. What you had? It was a drunken make out session a month ago. Yeah but if that's case why is he acting so off
Zahara Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 (edited) Yeah but if that's case why is he acting so off Could it be because you are so self-conscious about it that you are viewing it as off? Maybe you are projecting your own awkwardness. If he's keeping away from you, let him. He's doing it for whatever reason. Maybe he's embarrased. Maybe he feels bad for leading you on. Maybe he's nervous that people at work knows. Regardless, you're too occupied with a drunken kiss that happened a month ago. Edited January 22, 2015 by Zahara
Author kaisergal Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 Could it be because you are so self-conscious about it that you are viewing it as off? Maybe you are projecting your own awkwardness. If he's keeping away from you, let him. He's doing it for whatever reason. Maybe he's embarrased. Maybe he feels bad for leading you on. Maybe he's nervous that people at work knows. Regardless, you're too occupied with a drunken kiss that happened a month ago. I know but it's the fact he's being awkward/off which is the issue will we ever get our friendship bk on track etc
Zahara Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 I know but it's the fact he's being awkward/off which is the issue will we ever get our friendship bk on track etc No, it doesn't look like he is on the same page as you are.
lovexocoach Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 It was a make out session. That's all. If he's acting weird that's his deal, not yours. So why worry about it? There's nothing romantic there. If there were, he'd be showing interest in you and trying to romance you. Leave him alone. Be polite to him if you have to interact. If he wants to be friends again then let him approach you. In the meantime, it's time for you to move on and find a good man. 1
losangelena Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 will we ever get our friendship bk on track The reality is, you might not. Even something as innocent as a drunken kiss can alter relationship dynamics, and there isn't really anything to be done about it. Years ago, a male friend and I had gone out to a bar. Both of us maybe drank a bit too much, and at the end of the evening, we shared a drunken make out shesh on the back of my car (keeping it classy). The experience in and of itself was super-fun, but I was disappointed when A) it didn't lead to anything else, and B) he distanced himself from the friendship. We did hang out a few times afterward, but it was never the same. I have examples of where things did get back on track, platonically, so the point is, it could go either way, but in your case, it might not, so best get comfortable with the idea. No amount of speculation over what he's thinking or why he's acting off, will change that.
Author kaisergal Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 It was a make out session. That's all. If he's acting weird that's his deal, not yours. So why worry about it? There's nothing romantic there. If there were, he'd be showing interest in you and trying to romance you. Leave him alone. Be polite to him if you have to interact. If he wants to be friends again then let him approach you. In the meantime, it's time for you to move on and find a good man. I know there isn't anything romantic there we work in same room but even so we joked and bantered for a year to get to this?? And we didn't have sex
Zahara Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 (edited) I know there isn't anything romantic there we work in same room but even so we joked and bantered for a year to get to this?? And we didn't have sex Kaisergal, you can create thread after thread, going on about this month after month -- we can speculate, you can speculate -- sadly none of us can come up with a definite reason as to why he is behaving the way he is. He is the only one that can give you an answer. And it seems like it's not happening. Thank your lucky stars you didn't have sex because you'd probably feel even worse. If you know that there isn't anything romantic, then you shouldn't be analyzing this to death. And it surely isn't about a friendship. What you need to do is accept that the dynamic has changed. If he is choosing not to engage with you or choosing to alienate you, whether awkward or not, you cannot control that. The only thing you can control is putting this behind you and if you want to date, go out and date. Foster friendships with people that truly offer you the benefits that come with a friendship and stop holding on to what you had with him because obviously he does not value it as much as you do. Edited January 22, 2015 by Zahara
Author kaisergal Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 Kaisergal, you can create thread after thread, going on about this month after month -- we can speculate, you can speculate -- sadly none of us can come up with a definite reason as to why he is behaving the way he is. He is the only one that can give you an answer. And it seems like it's not happening. Thank your lucky stars you didn't have sex because you'd probably feel even worse. If you know that there isn't anything romantic, then you shouldn't be analyzing this to death. And it surely isn't about a friendship. What you need to do is accept that the dynamic has changed. If he is choosing not to engage with you or choosing to alienate you, whether awkward or not, you cannot control that. The only thing you can control is putting this behind you and if you want to date, go out and date. Foster friendships with people that truly offer you the benefits that come with a friendship and stop holding on to what you had with him because obviously he does not value it as much as you do. I work in a male dominated section so for me to approach him about this not the right place but what annoys me was he came onto me he was the one that kissed me not other way and I have not been funny the slightest. Not my fault he doesn't remember everything and don't deserve to b treated like this
Zahara Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 I work in a male dominated section so for me to approach him about this not the right place but what annoys me was he came onto me he was the one that kissed me not other way and I have not been funny the slightest. Not my fault he doesn't remember everything and don't deserve to b treated like this NO. You don't approach him. I'm not asking you to do that. Yes, no one deserves to be treated that way but it's done. You need to move past this. If you want to date, date outside of your workplace.
stillafool Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 (edited) Yeah but if that's case why is he acting so off I haven't read your other threads but from what you've written it seems he regrets making out with you and doesn't want to be too friendly because you may think he wants more, which he doesn't. I think you should take the advice of the Posters who said to leave him alone and chalk this one up as a loss. It's best not to get involved with work mates anyway. Way too messy when it ends and it almost always does.. Oh, and please don't approach him about this he will think you're nuts. It was only a kiss. Edited January 23, 2015 by stillafool
Author kaisergal Posted January 23, 2015 Author Posted January 23, 2015 NO. You don't approach him. I'm not asking you to do that. Yes, no one deserves to be treated that way but it's done. You need to move past this. If you want to date, date outside of your workplace. Yes but wouldn't mind but he's been flirting with me for a whole yr and it's him who came onto me if anything should be me that's funny. He was the one telling me how much he liked me etc and now acting like rabbit caught between headlights
Ebelskiver Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 Who knows. Who cares. It doesn't even matter. He's acting like an a$$, let him. Be professional, prompt, and barely courteous. And forget about him. You do this by keeping busy, pursuing your hobbies, going on dates, hanging with friends. Don't contact him. Don't talk to him. Just do your own thing and chalk it up to life.
Zahara Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 Yes but wouldn't mind but he's been flirting with me for a whole yr and it's him who came onto me if anything should be me that's funny. He was the one telling me how much he liked me etc and now acting like rabbit caught between headlights Stop. Enough of going round in circles. You've spent a month going on and on about this. It's done. He did what he did. You feel bad, I understand but you have to come to terms with it. Sometimes guys flirt, it doesn't mean anything. They kiss you and it's just a kiss, a drunken one at it. You played into his advances. It went a step further and now he's backed off. Let it go.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 REGARDLESS, of your past friendship/flirting/banter/who-pursed-who, the kiss clearly changed things for him. Stop guessing, stop analyzing and LISTEN to the advice others have given. Just.drop.it. QUOTE=kaisergal;6122274]Yes but wouldn't mind but he's been flirting with me for a whole yr and it's him who came onto me if anything should be me that's funny. He was the one telling me how much he liked me etc and now acting like rabbit caught between headlights
Author kaisergal Posted January 23, 2015 Author Posted January 23, 2015 Stop. Enough of going round in circles. You've spent a month going on and on about this. It's done. He did what he did. You feel bad, I understand but you have to come to terms with it. Sometimes guys flirt, it doesn't mean anything. They kiss you and it's just a kiss, a drunken one at it. You played into his advances. It went a step further and now he's backed off. Let it go. That's the thing if it's just a kiss why b funny
Zahara Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 That's the thing if it's just a kiss why b funny Maybe he regrets doing it. Maybe he doesn't want you to get any ideas. Maybe he feels he led you on and he wants nothing of the sort. Maybe he didn't like the kiss. Maybe he has a girlfriend and he's keeping a distance because he knows he screwed up. Who knows! How many different ways are you going to keep running this around your head? You feel rejected, I get it. It happens. It's called life.
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