JonjMie Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 OK so I deactivated my FB account on the day of NC but have dipped in a few times. Im getting near the point I want to log back on and probably delete her from my friends, do I delete her sister and mutual friends ? I dont mind her seeing what I'm doing but I dont want to bump into her, I have unfollowed them. The other thing is I just cant bring myself to press that button yet, dont know what I'm hanging on for but once its done its done and I am cutting another tie. What do you think. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I think its about you now, and you should delete everyone who makes you uncomfortable, including your ex's relatives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Delete everyone who is not a real-life friend. " Facebook friends" are imaginary. If you understand that concept, and only use facebook for things that you would do in real life, you'll have a much easier time. Delete anyone who you don't want to be RL friends with, and make sure all your stuff is "friends only" security settings. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 My boyfriend and I had a lot of mutual friends/contacts during the breakup because we met at work. Everyone who was his friend and I was on friendly terms with, I unfriended, because I felt it was inappropriate and caused me too much mental stress to keep the connection. I kept one friend because we had a legitimate friendship, not just hi/bye, shoot the breeze in social situations. The friend I kept, I took great care to NEVER mention the breakup around. There's no harm in taking the axe to any connection that causes you stress. Also, if you're keeping a connection for the sole purpose of hoping information filters back to the ex, it's not in your best interest (moving forward), so cut it. It's nothing personal. It's about what's best for you. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I deactivated my FB for a silly reason. (A bet) But since then my life is so much better because i have some control of the mental poison i let in my mind. FB is a mind poisoner! You HAVE to see toxic things you don't want to see, it an addiction. I've had enough watching every day my "friends" make a "show off" of their life, always smiling, always happy, always have success in their career (because when they don't they forget writing about it). FB is fake. it's a carefully designed showcase of everyone, not the real them. I advice you not to let this toxic poisoning your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 OK so I deactivated my FB account on the day of NC but have dipped in a few times. Im getting near the point I want to log back on and probably delete her from my friends, do I delete her sister and mutual friends ? I dont mind her seeing what I'm doing but I dont want to bump into her, I have unfollowed them. The other thing is I just cant bring myself to press that button yet, dont know what I'm hanging on for but once its done its done and I am cutting another tie. What do you think. I told my ex I'm going to delete her. She said "We're going to be back together in a few months, don't delete me!". After four weeks I deleted her, all her friends and relatives. Another two weeks later I blocked her, another three months later I blocked all accounts that I knew off that she had access to. I suspected her of looking at my generally private profile with other accounts that weren't yet blocked 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Holmes85 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 (edited) Facebook is like Hollywood, you see the best bits of the person, always smiling, having the time of the their life, causing unnecessary Drama, posting your whole life on the Internet, drooling for someone to notice you and like your statuses and give you some inner satisfaction. I had Facebook for 6 months, I didn't deactive it, I permanently deleted it and to be honest, I feel relieved and relaxed. I don't have to log in everyday to check whose doing what and all that drama. It has been my experience that people portray themselves more than what they really are, I personally know some people who either failed college or didn't even finish college and have listed as completing Masters & PHD Degree on Facebook. My personal opinion, it's a waste of time, the more you stay away from this or other social networking websites (Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Myspace, Badoo etc) the better off you are. Edited January 22, 2015 by Holmes85 3 Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 On Facebook, I'm disguised as a person of the opposite gender, a different ethnicity, and about 14 years older than my real age. As a rule, I only post silly pictures, never anything of myself. My cover photo right now is a zookeeper holding a giant toothbrush, brushing an elephant's teeth. I have about 60 friends that are all real friends. I think the moral of the story is that social media should never be taken too seriously. Even the post title made me laugh (not at the OP, just because Facebook should never be taken seriously), as "Facebook logic" seems like an oxymoron. It's generally fueled by narcissism and opinions, rarely reality. If you're hurting, no shame in unplugging. No shame in deleting anyone that makes your wheels spin, even if they've never wronged you. Half the people being unfriended probably won't even notice. You have no obligation to Facebook, only to your own well being. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JonjMie Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 I think I would like to keep Facebook as I can keep in contact and look at pictures of my children and my parents etc, I agree though I could have a big cull on there and delete a lot of people, might do it today, see how I feel. Ive noticed my ex has not been on the dating site lately so probably met someone else, or got bored of it. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Ive noticed my ex has not been on the dating site lately Dude stop stalking your ex. That's not healthy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JonjMie Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Unfortunately I have signed up to the same site and she lives local so keeps popping up and a little green icon shows when shes on-line, ive paid a sub as well :-( Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Log in at 1 in the morning and delete everyone you want to delete because while your account is deactivated they can't see you you don't want to log in when they are awake because of those show on your feed. That's what I did I logged in like that one in the morning deleted everything then deactivated it Link to post Share on other sites
wicksee Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Jon. I deleted my ex AND her relatives (who were really nice people and accepted me). I had to do it for my own sanity. I regret HAVING to do it, because I liked them, but in all honesty I think it was the right thing to do FOR ME. It helps to begin to make a clean break away from your ex and anything associated with her. You can box it all up and file it away somewhere in your mind, rather than being constantly reminded of your ex. My advice would be to delete. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JonjMie Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Jon. I deleted my ex AND her relatives (who were really nice people and accepted me). I had to do it for my own sanity. I regret HAVING to do it, because I liked them, but in all honesty I think it was the right thing to do FOR ME. It helps to begin to make a clean break away from your ex and anything associated with her. You can box it all up and file it away somewhere in your mind, rather than being constantly reminded of your ex. My advice would be to delete. I'm getting closer because Ive not fully accepted things yet but nearly ready to go in and do the cull, I will know in my mind when I do this I'm close to recovery Link to post Share on other sites
OK_computer Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I deleted my ex on a whim after a real brutal argument/breakup. I NEVER regretted it, and in fact I sometimes post on mutual comment! Get the girl out of your life for good! and done with it. But that's only if you WANT to. Remember, if you decide to change your mind, she may not accept another friend request from you, forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JonjMie Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 I deleted my ex on a whim after a real brutal argument/breakup. I NEVER regretted it, and in fact I sometimes post on mutual comment! Get the girl out of your life for good! and done with it. But that's only if you WANT to. Remember, if you decide to change your mind, she may not accept another friend request from you, forever. Exactly which is why I am not ready just this moment, its coming soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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