NopeNah Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 I try to be upfront and honest with my dates..."Not looking for anything serious"....They're all on board until the 3rd date and then the TALK comes out....I stick to my original truth...and they flip out..Seriously? I was and am always 100% honest...just chill! So...yet another slow fade is happening.
Ebelskiver Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Maybe you should try a more hookup oriented site. Lifestylelounge for instance? I've had discussions about this with my rich, handsome, funny, MD roomate. He'll say the same thing to women he's dating. And he proceeds to wine and dine them, flights to Singapore to see one, fly another one in from Russia to hang out for a while. Do sweet things for them. Be charming, attentive. And then he gets mad when they want a relationship. I'll tell you what I tell him: You can't TELL a woman you don't want anything serious, and expect them to believe you, when you are ACTING like you want a girlfriend. Women are gonna eat that up. If you don't want anything serious, don't take them out on dates. Don't make them feel special and pampered. Don't woo them. That's why if what you want is sex, go to Craigslist, or Adult Friend Finder or Ashley Madison. Women you meet there will not have a "discussion" with you in three dates. They will be on the same page. 4
TabbyHearts Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 just out of sheer curiosity, what is your definition of 'not looking for anything serious'? How does it look to you? Does it look like dating a girl casually for an indeterminate amount of time until you no longer care to continue? Dating multiple girls whenever you feel like it? A glorified FWB thing? This isn't me judging you, I'm genuinely curious as to what people imagine when they "want to date, but nothing serious". Also, what do you hope to gain from it? 1
Eaglestar83 Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Don't go on dates, just pick girls up from bars or nightclubs. Girls there are also usually just looking for fun and no questions asked. I find that women take it personally when a guy says he doesn't want anything serious. Even if they themselves aren't ready or looking for a serious relationship, the fact that you told them you just want sex (essentially) makes them not want to be with you, even if sex is all they really want themselves, weird I know. 1
Kingston100 Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 For what it's worth, I had a year long relationship with a guy who originally told me he wasn't looking for anything serious. We ended up even talking about marriage, but it ended for other reasons. I think he was honest when he said he didn't want to get into a relationship, but changed his mind when he really started to like me. If you tell a girl right from the beginning that you don't want a serious relationship, but then you are the one asking them out, treating them to dinner and making sexual advances to them it sends a whole different message. I would read those signals as "he said he wasn't looking for a serious relationship, but he really seems to like me. I'd better talk to him about this"
Brooke02 Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Why 3 dates if your not looking for anything serious? This makes no sense.
Author NopeNah Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 I don't have any trouble picking up randoms from a bar, I'm just sick of that game. I don't do OLD... I actually just don't think I'm ready to be "dating" anyone for a while longer. SO, I've just been hanging out, is the way I look at it.
smackie9 Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Funny how some just can't get out of the friends zone and this guy can't get into it lol
preraph Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 I can sympathize a little with your plight. Some women, the younger the more likely, think they can change a guy. They think if they love him enough, he'll have to reciprocate because it's destiny or whatever and that once you love them back, you will magically turn into the guy that lives in their head. I would say don't keep hitting it. Yes, it's more work that way, but then you really can't leave any doubt in their minds.
Author NopeNah Posted January 23, 2015 Author Posted January 23, 2015 Funny how some just can't get out of the friends zone and this guy can't get into it lol So true! I've never been able to be friends with female's. Catch 22, i guess.. I'll just keep doing my thing and try not to hurt anyone in the process.
Author NopeNah Posted January 23, 2015 Author Posted January 23, 2015 I can sympathize a little with your plight. Some women, the younger the more likely, think they can change a guy. They think if they love him enough, he'll have to reciprocate because it's destiny or whatever and that once you love them back, you will magically turn into the guy that lives in their head. I would say don't keep hitting it. Yes, it's more work that way, but then you really can't leave any doubt in their minds. Late 20's to early-mid 30's are what I'm going for. My ex just turned 41...i'm late 30's myself.
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