Mugen01 Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 I've been dating this girl for almost three months. She got out from a long term relationship (it's been about 1 year since). She does like me: like she always initiates contact (phone or physical); also tells me that she misses me. But once in a while, I can see her looking at the profile of her ex-bf in Facebook. Now, to me, this means that she's still got feelings for her ex or something. When my dates are still thinking of her ex, I usually see that as a red flag (or even a deal breaker). What's the best way to handle this: should I continue to date her and let her get over her ex by herself... or should I just withdraw and stop dating?
preraph Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 She's interested in what he's doing. Maybe they're friends, or maybe she just likes to torture herself. You'll have to find out which it is. I think just about everyone, at least on this board, does the same thing. Bottom line is you'll either be able to build something stronger with her than what they had or you won't and whether she's looking at FB probably won't change how that goes one way or the other unless you make an issue of it.
BeholdtheMan Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 When my dates are still thinking of her ex, I usually see that as a red flag (or even a deal breaker). What's the best way to handle this: should I continue to date her and let her get over her ex by herself... or should I just withdraw and stop dating? It really depends on how much you're willing to invest It sounds like she isn't entirely over her ex. That would be somewhat of a red flag. It would be worse if she's actively contacting him. A lot of cheating occurs with ex-partners because the person is already comfortable around his/her ex. I would wait and observe...see if there are other signs indicating that she really hasn't moved on. You're going to have to use your best judgement.
Ieris Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 I never look up my exes, I delete their number and everything. If I am with someone new, I am completely focused on him. As you've seen her look him up a few times then clearly she still thinks about him or possibly misses him. I think that is a red flag, personally I would withdraw and stop dating them. Let her get over it in her own time, not yours.
Aayla Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 I wouldn't give it too much importance. My current boyfriend dated a girl for 4 years, they broke up 10 months ago. It was an educated brake-up, no hard feelings and all, and they talk from time to time because they used to share a lot as friends and it doesn't mean that they want anything else from each other. Now, checking out his facebook page or whatever, everybody does that. I do it with boyfriends from years ago, out of curiosity. The red flag should be if you notice that she's being obsessive.
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