Heatemyheart89 Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 My boyfriend has a large group of friends. I have some friends, the majority who don't live very close to me . Recently he said to me I need to do things for myself . I was a bit offended by this . I am looking for a new job and currently studying . The thing is , I don't have as easy access to my friends (the majority have kids ) and I feel like he doesn't get this . I feel like he will judge me if I don't have weekend plans .Should I say how I feel about this or lie that I am busy when I'm not with him ?
WonderKid Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Just find other ways to spend your freetime. It doesn't have to be with friends. If he is willing to look down upon you because you are not adept at a social life then he has problems. As long as you aren't clingy to him, he shouldn't worry about it.
preraph Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 I think the message behind the message is, I don't want to spend all my time with you, so you need to find something else to occupy yourself. Just sounds to me like he doesn't want you to try to go with him everywhere he goes and everything he does and that he wants some space and doesn't want to be joined at the hip, ya know? Not everyone wants to spend all their free time with a bf or gf. They have more diverse interests and don't want to get tired of you because they're around you too much. And if you truly don't have that much else going on, I wonder what you find to tell him about. I'm thinking you may run out of things to talk about it and then it gets tedious. I get your friends may be out of town. I know a lot of mine always were. So just take this as a message that he doesn't want to be with you all the time and give him some space. Take yourself to a movie or the zoo or out of town to see a friend or just tell him you want a night at home to relax and see if giving him space and more freedom will make him happy. This is even a step beyond not always being available, because now it's out in the open he wants you to find something else to do part of the time and not just focus on him 24/7.
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