lostandconfused2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 My ex and I have known each other for a couple of years. Neither one of us was ready for a relationship and just chatted when we happened to be on the same job. I hired her to hell on a job for my compay and we started flirting. What really sealed the deal for her was my opening the door for her when she was all covered in paint and messy. From that point in it was a great connection. She is very much a home body. As in she goes to work, does her fitness then home to be with her 12 hear old son. I have 2 kids full time as well, 11 and 13. I work, spend time with my kids but I also had a very active social life. I was casually dating 2 other women when her and I first started. When things got serious we had a talk and we became exclusive. It very quickly within 3 months where our lives became very entwined and she wanted me to have my kids at her house and for us to be with her as much as possible. I will say that I was head over heals in love and I stopped being myself. I didn't do my own thing anymore, I guess I gave up my confidence. Over the last 2 months, work for both of us became very stressful and she could go to work for 2 weeks. She expressed concerns about mh job and the lack of stability in it. I should have taken that for the flag that it was but j ignored it. She was very stressed at this point. Right before Christmas I told her I as having a party at work with all my guys and give them their Christmas gifts and that I would need a ride home. She said no problem and I thought it was all good. Now I will say that she doesn't drink at all. She didn't like me even having a drink with the boys after work. Thought I should come right home and have a drink at home. Well after I made my plans, she went ahead and made alternate plans. Well, I got carried away at work and she was very upset as you can imagine. I was wrong here and I know it. I made her feel like she wasn't important. She slept on the couch for 3 days. Finally on boxing day, I talked to her and apologized for my behavior. Everything seemed fine. She then got sick again for a week aft new years and I stayed at my place so I didn't get it. That following Sunday, I got the we need to talk text. So I drove to her place prepared for what as going to happen. She was in tears the entire time, was calling me baby and even hugged me and kissed me as she broke it off. It was surreal to me. I gathered my belongings and left. We talked everyday after about this or that relating to our kids or work. I finally asked if we could talk and we met while our boys went skiing. I told her that I understood and repeated her decision but that I didn't agree with it. We didn't fight before this in case you guys wee wondering. I asked her if she could tell me what I had done so that j could learn from my mistakes and grow for the future. What I got was that I hurt her by that one night, that even though I have done the same job for 19 years and my boss is my best friend she didn't feel any security in my job and that she just didn't honk we had the same values. Well, I just listened and I toled her I had no intentions of ever hurting her. I was sad to see the relationship end but its done now and we can't get it back. To which she agreed and said she would still like to date me, to see if things can naturally come back between us. She stressed that she was not interested in dating anyone else and that had nothing to do with this. She was single for 8 years before me. She knows she has some things she needs to work on and that's what she will do. She wants to date me once a week and no sex. I was floored by this, but I said ok and stayed calm. After the fact, I'm confused. I don't get what we are doing here. I don't know if I should text or call her, or wait until our date night. If this is my one chance to restore her hope in our relationship. Do I date her casually as it seems she has reduced this to? What about dating others? Any input from you guys would be greatly welcome.
Ducktape Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 We fix things while in the relationship, not after. Her breaking up with you and then telling you she would still like to date you is complete bull****. Don't settle for less than you deserve. She friendzoned you. And if she loved you she wouldn't have gotten so hurt about you having fun and forgetting the time of day. If it happened every week, there would be a problem. but on a christmas party? It's just her own insecurity talking, and that's her problems, not yours. 1
Author lostandconfused2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Author Posted January 26, 2015 thanks for the reply ducktape. We had our first date night and it went well. We had a lot of fun and we just talked. She brought up good things from our past, i acknowledged her comments but didnt get sucked into those conversations at this time. A few of these items she brought up were about our sex life and her missing it. I was fun and interactive with her the entire time. When i drove her home we sat in the car for a few minutes. During this time, she leaned across the truck and kissed me. I returned the kiss but i guess i pulled away. I didnt notice, but she did. i gave her a hug and walked her to the door. On Sunday we met at the arena for our sons baseball camp. while the boys were doing thier training she ran the track. When she came back she was very nice and we had a good conversation. I live in the next town over from her and the indoor track is free in my town. She mentioned that she really enjoyed the run but she didnt see herself driving here to run unless i wanted to run with her. I was totally clueless to the invite and really ignored it. When i got home i realized my error and sent her a message that i had checked my schedule and i could only run with her on wednesday night. She was happy about it and the next date was set. No i get a message why i pulled away from her when she kissed me. she asked me if she had made me feel uncomfortable. I told her it caught me off guard, that after her being distant with me for the last 2 weeks it was sudden and i didnt expect it. She told me it felt right to kiss me so she did. I told her that i like her lips on my and that for now, we can go with what feels right and see what happens. during our date she told me about her life over the last 2 weeks. She has been really busy and her mom is very bad medically. So i listened and let her talk. It was a good interaction for the most part i feel. What do you guys think? Am i being to hard for being cautious?
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