Silly Girl924 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 So I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. Things have been going well. He recently told me his ex girlfriend has been texting him and trying to get all of us to hang out sometime. I've met her once before I knew she was his ex girlfriend, before him and I even started dating. I know she's a nice, bubbly girl. They dated when they were 17 and I'm 23 now and he's 25 so I know it was a while ago. A little after we had started dating, he showed me text messages between them. She had a boyfriend at the time, but she had asked him to "come sleep over. No one will know. We can use pillows as a divider on my bed." He obviously declined. Should I be worried about her that she keeps texting him again? She's been on and off with her boyfriend. She keeps talking to his best friends on Facebook and she's "liked" older photos of us together on Facebook. I don't think I have anything to worry about with him (at least I hope not) but her? I'm not so sure. It's annoying. What should I do? If anything? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Let sleeping dogs lie. In otherwords, don't go over there to hang out. The two of you should decline. Something about her I don't trust. Why doesn't she get other people to hang out with? No wonder her and her bf are off and on, she won't leave her exes alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 My thoughts exactly. We def wouldn't hang out with her. I'm just wondering if I should do or say something to her if she keeps texting my boyfriend. I'll probably react by telling him not to respond to her at first. Guess I'm trying to prepare myself for the "just in case." Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Ya I agree, it's not a good idea to let this girl be buddy buddy with you if she doesn't even understand boundaries. With her asking your BF to sleep over just goes to show you what her motivation is when she asks to "hang out" . Make sure you have a clear and definded boundary set with your BF in regards to her texting, calling, requests, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 It's your BF's responsability to set this girl straight. So add that to your your discussion with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Excellent advice. I'll do all this if she tried getting in touch with him again. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Also- how should I go about talking to my boyfriend about this? Lol I know I should probably figure this out but it seems like a touchy subject. He tells me not to worry but he doesn't get why she's texting him. I keep telling him "yea she wants you" but he literally doesn't get it. I'm his first girlfriend since her. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 If she does it again, you can say "well I guess she is not getting it, so it would be best if you can be more firm with her. I don't know what her game is but it is making me feel uncomfortable, in fact she is being disrespectul......you need to get that point across to her...." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Again, excellent! Lol thanks again! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 So I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. Things have been going well. He recently told me his ex girlfriend has been texting him and trying to get all of us to hang out sometime. I've met her once before I knew she was his ex girlfriend, before him and I even started dating. I know she's a nice, bubbly girl. They dated when they were 17 and I'm 23 now and he's 25 so I know it was a while ago. A little after we had started dating, he showed me text messages between them. She had a boyfriend at the time, but she had asked him to "come sleep over. No one will know. We can use pillows as a divider on my bed." He obviously declined. Should I be worried about her that she keeps texting him again? She's been on and off with her boyfriend. She keeps talking to his best friends on Facebook and she's "liked" older photos of us together on Facebook. I don't think I have anything to worry about with him (at least I hope not) but her? I'm not so sure. It's annoying. What should I do? If anything? You can't make her do or not do anything. Your boyfriend needs to stop encouraging her and I don't see that happening from what you've written. Why hasn't he blocked her? He's the problem, not her. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 My thoughts exactly. We def wouldn't hang out with her. I'm just wondering if I should do or say something to her if she keeps texting my boyfriend. I'll probably react by telling him not to respond to her at first. Guess I'm trying to prepare myself for the "just in case." No. Don't say anything to her. You will be telling her that she's succeeding in causing problems in your relationship. This is your boyfriend's problem to deal with and so far, from what you're written, he hasn't dealt with it. What is the hold up? He's not with her anymore, he's with you. If this was your ex doing this, how fast would he be telling you to block him/stop taking his calls? It's no difference just because it's him and he thinks he can handle this. He's not handling this and he needs to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 He hadn't done anything to encourage her. He declined her offer and he doesn't answer when she gets in touch with him. But now if she does text him again, I'll make sure he answers her to get a clue. Something like "hey I haven't answered anything, get a clue." Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 no set rules, but i would expect a man in a committed relatonship to tell the ex to find another fix for her need to cling to the past, and to leave you two alone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Yeah I don't think I'll say anything. He will. It won't be a problem with him, he's clueless. Thanks for the advice Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 He hadn't done anything to encourage her. He declined her offer and he doesn't answer when she gets in touch with him. But now if she does text him again, I'll make sure he answers her to get a clue. Something like "hey I haven't answered anything, get a clue." By virtue of the fact that he has not said "don't text me anymore or extend invites to me and SillyGirl. I'm no longer interested. It's time for you to go find a guy and build something with him" and then block her is what encourages her to send text to him to come over and spend the night with pillows between them (big eye roll). Anything short of him directly telling her to stop and then shoring up his end of things, she's going to take as a green light to continue. And she will. Like I said, if this was your ex, the speed with which he'd be on you to handle that would be breathtaking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 If it does happen again, I now know how I'll react and he will too. Thanks again! Link to post Share on other sites
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