KB_138 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Hi all, Been visiting LS for about 6 months now and just want to say this forum is great and has helped me tremendously thus far, so thanks everyone. I'm rolling up on 10 months since the breakup and I have to say I've made some real progress. I sleep, eat, socialize and for the most part go about my days relatively happy. However, the past few days have been pretty tough. Why?... I can't seem to kick these negative thoughts about myself. I mean I've had them before but they always pass. I know I'm a good person with proper morals and values but lately I've been struggling with believing that. Breakups are a ****ty rollercoaster as we all know but I kinda feel like I went down and the track isn't going back up. Anybody have this issue and if so can you share some of the things you did or said that brought that coaster back up again. Thanks guys and gals!
JonjMie Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Have you done anything new for yourself ? new hobby, new haircut, new clothes ? Read the book, No More Mr Nice Guy Do something for yourself, book a day to yourself, do some shopping, treat yourself. Try it, it works.
blackcat777 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 One of the things I struggled dealing with during my breakup was a mass of thoughts that I was a horrible person. I knew it was irrational and most likely had something to do with the rejection... It also made me think back to my younger days and how I sometimes treated people, and the hearts I've broken. I had no idea it could hurt so much. I felt so rotten, too ashamed to want to talk to anyone some days. I'm sure the agony of the whole process magnified these thoughts in an unrealistic way. I broke down one night and apologized to an old friend about things he swore weren't a big deal... and I'm pretty sure most of it was things I doubted about myself, in my head... but I questioned everything about myself. All the good stuff. I think it can be a normal part of dealing with rejection, and having your whole world flipped inside out. Honor your emotions, but let them go. Don't get stuck there. Be as kind to yourself as possible and do a bunch of things you love. Try something you've never tried before. The more personal growth you can get in after something shattering like a breakup, the more you realize how strong you are... how awesome you are... and how irrelevant all those negative thoughts really are.
Chi townD Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Hi all, Been visiting LS for about 6 months now and just want to say this forum is great and has helped me tremendously thus far, so thanks everyone. I'm rolling up on 10 months since the breakup and I have to say I've made some real progress. I sleep, eat, socialize and for the most part go about my days relatively happy. However, the past few days have been pretty tough. Why?... I can't seem to kick these negative thoughts about myself. I mean I've had them before but they always pass. I know I'm a good person with proper morals and values but lately I've been struggling with believing that. Breakups are a ****ty rollercoaster as we all know but I kinda feel like I went down and the track isn't going back up. Anybody have this issue and if so can you share some of the things you did or said that brought that coaster back up again. Thanks guys and gals! You have to do something for yourself. Something that you know is going to make you feel good. Whenever I got into a funk, I used to take a trip somewhere. Just get out of your general surroundings and away from things that might remind you of your Ex and the relationship you lost. Somewhere new, where there's new things to see and do. Even if it's just a get-away weekend. That might be enough to decompress and recharge yourself.
Author KB_138 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Posted January 21, 2015 Thanks for the replies guys! I've definitely been looking for ways to occupy myself and keep my mind focused on the good things out there. I use to dabble with photography and had a lot of fun with it. Always wanted to get back into it so a couple weeks ago I bought a new DSLR and plan to get some books to learn more. Just have to wait for a warm enough day to actually get outside (I'm in Ontario Canada where its currently -34C). As for that book "No more Mr. Nice Guy" I'll definitely check that out. Thanks again guys and feel free to keep the responses coming. I'll be sure to read every last one.
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