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If you are the dumpee but the sadness isn’t going away is there anything you can say?


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Posted

I guess I want to know if it’s worth talking to your ex about things. When we broke up and moved out of our apartment he had a lot of confusion and said he wanted us 100% to have a chance in the future. I do believe him I know people say a lot of things when breaking up but he pushed for me to not move into another state and I have gone NC but he contacts me at least 1 time a week checking in and wanting to see me

 

When we have spent time together he asks how long before the sadness goes away. I can tell he is conflicted but still doesn’t know what he wants. The last time we were together re-opened my wounds and I think right now I can’t be friends and see him. But I really want to talk to him about us and how he is feeling now…but should I just leave it alone? It’s on him to realize and talk to me? Up this point (2 months later) I have been really strong and not contacting or begging or discussing anything but I just feel we are meant to be everyone says this but I do believe he is the one and while he is younger andfelt unsure and scared of the next step I think he knows in his heart there is something between us he has never felt before too. He told me this was the closest he had ever been to marriage and never loved anyone before as much asme but yet he still felt like he didn’t know if he was ready for marriage and had to figure out if it’s him or me that’s holding him back….

Posted
I guess I want to know if it’s worth talking to your ex about things. When we broke up and moved out of our apartment he had a lot of confusion and said he wanted us 100% to have a chance in the future. I do believe him I know people say a lot of things when breaking up but he pushed for me to not move into another state and I have gone NC but he contacts me at least 1 time a week checking in and wanting to see me

 

When we have spent time together he asks how long before the sadness goes away. I can tell he is conflicted but still doesn’t know what he wants. The last time we were together re-opened my wounds and I think right now I can’t be friends and see him. But I really want to talk to him about us and how he is feeling now…but should I just leave it alone? It’s on him to realize and talk to me? Up this point (2 months later) I have been really strong and not contacting or begging or discussing anything but I just feel we are meant to be everyone says this but I do believe he is the one and while he is younger andfelt unsure and scared of the next step I think he knows in his heart there is something between us he has never felt before too. He told me this was the closest he had ever been to marriage and never loved anyone before as much asme but yet he still felt like he didn’t know if he was ready for marriage and had to figure out if it’s him or me that’s holding him back….

 

The sadness will go away but it won't go away by contacting or seeing your ex, it has to come from within, it just takes time.

 

If your ex means what he says and has never loved anyone before like you, then disappear and if he means what he says he'll chase you and move mountains to get you back.

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Posted

A banquet of crumbs might whet your appetite, but it can't feed or nourish you.

Posted

If I'm reading this correctly, it's not your responsibility to make him feel better.

 

It's his job to take care of himself and your job to take care of you.

 

Keep moving on and stay NC.

Posted

Spilling your guts to a person who committed to a decision to reject you is not going to help the pain... It will make it much, much worse.

 

Spill to a friend, spill here, write a letter and then burn it, but do not contact the ex. The day he walked away is the day he stopped caring about your feelings, and if you are hurting, the last thing you want to do is throw your heart for a second spin through the meat grinder.

 

Unless he comes to you... there is nothing you can say, nothing you can do. Anything you say or do will make everything worse.

 

I'm sorry. Stick to your guns and don't contact--when the clouds part, you'll eventually be thrilled you managed to do yourself such an enormously difficult favor. This is how you discover your true inner strength. It won't and can't come from anywhere outside, and it's an awesome feeling when it hits you.

 

It will eventually get better, I promise.

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