CripplingMe Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 (edited) I've basically blocked my ex because I didn't want to live painstakingly in the hope that every text or call I received, it would be him. That would stop me beating myself up monumentally. We both don't have FB and I've deleted him from Skype. So, this move was to help me not love and pray for his contact. Also, when we were together for 4 years, it wasn't uncommon for his two previous girlfriends to email him or text him whilst we were together (his first love and his previous girlfriend who still contacted him even 18 months into our relationship). I don't want to be the same as his other ex's as I knew it probably boosted his ego. It made me think from the dumpers perspective. Of course I still love him and want him back but that wouldn't be an option for me unless he had made some serious life changes and realised what a bad f**** mistake he made (he was suffering from depression because he quit uni after three weeks, 1st year, realising he made a massive mistake in his choice , and his head was messed up so went on anti depressants). He hasn't a clue what he wants to do in his life and became incredibly withdrawn and depressed. Digressing. I don't want to appear psycho like that thread suggests, but I'm only doing it to help myself - he might not see it like that though so I maybe cutting my nose off to spite my face (I partially am yes). Is it drastic an erratic of me to do that? I have no temptation to contact him because not only do I want to help myself, I also just want to leave him alone. Edited January 22, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed url of other forum
Lokin4AReason Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 if that doesn't work you can always change you number =0)
PegNosePete Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 I didn't read your link. If you want to move on then why do you care what he thinks from his perspective? You should be concentrating on YOU and only YOU. What is best for you? You've blocked him. Who gives a damn what he thinks about that? 2
bigtrouble Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 I have no temptation to contact him because not only do I want to help myself, I also just want to leave him alone. Its a good move, now you can step forward towards self healing. Its nice to hear positive changes, happy for you. Keep it up, we are all in this together. We find strength, wisdom from other's experience here at LS. 2
seminoles84 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Does the person being blocked even know they are blocked? Wouldn't it just appear that you aren't answering? Just curious.
blackcat777 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Blocking after a breakup was the BEST thing I ever did, because the silence of rejection was no longer ringing in my ears. Set yourself free! Some providers do give a message stating a number is blocked, and I had no idea about this (I thought it would give a "this number is unavailable/doesn't exist message"). When my dumper showed up at my door, one of the first things he said was, "I tried calling, but my number was rightfully blocked." He called my number from his phone and let me hear the automated response, laughing in a stunned kind of way. The fact that I blocked him made him feel awful, he didn't expect that to happen in a million years, and it sent a very strong signal that I was not open to screwing around with chit chat. It was my front door with flowers or bust. We had both been NC for so long, when I finally chose to block him, I pretty much accepted that I'd never hear from him again, and blocking him was just to drown that noise out. It made me feel so much better, and accelerated my healing. 2
Satu Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 He will never become the person you need him to be. He will never make the changes you want him to make. He had four years to be and do those things, and he didn't Block, delete, ignore, move on.
candie13 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 I understand your doubts, been there as well. The only difference is that I chose to leave - not that there was much choice, since his behaviour was so poor. Just like you, I knew I was overreacting. And I took the plunge and did it anyway. It was immensely immensely helpful. I kept him blocked around 50 days. I decided to unblock him because I was ready to face him & the world and didn't want to feel as if I was hiding anymore. A week later he made contact and asked to see me for drinks, but I knew better. Think of yourself exclusively and do only what's good for you. There is a time when u need to grieve and get shelter, in order to manage to let go. Fair enough. I say go for it, it worked really really well for me ! Cheers
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