Scaatys2014 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Is it different for guys than girls? Been seeing this guy regularly now and things seem to be going great. We were getting pretty heavy and then he stopped and said there's plenty of time to have sex. Huh? I was kind of deflated and confused. We continued to fool around but I have NEVER had a guy say no. usually I have to beat them away! What do you think? No interest or just a true gentleman?
Author Scaatys2014 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Posted January 21, 2015 No, no, no, I'm fine to wait. It took me by surprise as its never happened before. He struck me as a complete gentleman but was getting frisky with me before our date so I was kind of looking forward to our evening, only to have him say we should wait! I wasn't sure how to perceive the change of heart.
CT98 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Sounds to me he is being a gentleman. It's probably that he has genuine interest in pursuing a relationship with you so doesn't want you thinking that sex is all he is after. I'm the same; if I'm not interested in a girl beyond the physical attraction I'll happily sleep with her whenever, however if I can genuinely see myself being in a relationship with her I wait it out and not rush into it.
Mrin Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 A bunch of different reasons. From most noble to least. 1. He's a gentleman 2. He respects you 3. He sees you as GF material and knows that if you have sex too soon you may start second guessing yourself 4. He didn't have protection 5. He wants to discuss STD testing before you are intimate 6. He's sleeping with someone else 7. He is waiting for his test results 8. He prematurely ejaculated in his pants 9. He has an STD and hasn't told you about it 10. He lost his penis in knife fight in prison and just hasn't gotten around to telling you about it 11. He's a serial killer and always kills the women he has sex with but he's running low on Hefty bags at the moment 12. One word: Tranny 13. He's an alien actually and his meat suit doesn't come equipped with schlong Best of luck! 6
Redhead14 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Is it different for guys than girls? Been seeing this guy regularly now and things seem to be going great. We were getting pretty heavy and then he stopped and said there's plenty of time to have sex. Huh? I was kind of deflated and confused. We continued to fool around but I have NEVER had a guy say no. usually I have to beat them away! What do you think? No interest or just a true gentleman? He's being smart, plain and simple. He wants to get to know you on a deeper level before introducing the emotions associated with sex and get past the initial endorphin high that happens early in a dating scenario. In the very beginning, people are experiencing the excitement of getting to know someone and oftentimes are excited simply about the IDEA of that person rather than seeing them for who they really are. You two need to have a conversation about what you are each looking for out of your dating experiences in general, and now that you are beginning to become sexual with each other, make it clear what becoming sexual means to each of you going forward. Since it seems you may be getting to that point, now is the time to discuss exclusivity at least. This doesn't have to mean boyfriend and girlfriend unless you both want that, but it may be a little soon to go there. What you can start with is the definition of exclusivity that says you two would only be intimate with each other but can still date others to the point where you decide to be intimate with someone else. At which point, you tell the first one that you're moving on and likely means you weren't as interested in them as you'd thought. Some people don't like that definition and want to declare boyfriend/girlfriend commitment. Just be on the same page. Let this relationship develop naturally. He's seems to be a wise man. Let him lead.
Author Scaatys2014 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Posted January 21, 2015 A bunch of different reasons. From most noble to least. 1. He's a gentleman 2. He respects you 3. He sees you as GF material and knows that if you have sex too soon you may start second guessing yourself 4. He didn't have protection 5. He wants to discuss STD testing before you are intimate 6. He's sleeping with someone else 7. He is waiting for his test results 8. He prematurely ejaculated in his pants 9. He has an STD and hasn't told you about it 10. He lost his penis in knife fight in prison and just hasn't gotten around to telling you about it 11. He's a serial killer and always kills the women he has sex with but he's running low on Hefty bags at the moment 12. One word: Tranny 13. He's an alien actually and his meat suit doesn't come equipped with schlong Best of luck! OMG! 10-13 made me totally howl!!!! Hilarious
Diezel Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Like I said in another post: Damned if we wait, damned if we don't. 1
markleymassraff Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Most guys I've dated and had relationships with didn't want to wait for sex but they were still sincere. It just has not been my experience that guys who purposely "wait" on sex are more sincere and those who want it fast are not. Usually, when I and a guy have sex quickly, and he wants to show that he thinks of me as more than just sex, he simply acts as such by valuing the time we talk, get to know each other, do activities together, eat out together, watch movies together, talk about our past, etc., as much as he enjoys the sex. So...this thread strikes me as old fashioned as hell. I'm not saying have sex quickly. But I am saying that this "when to have sex" thing is rather arbitrary in terms of how it turns out. People have sex without even going on a formal date and last forever, while many who wait for months end within a year or sooner. And all kinds of variations in between.
lovexocoach Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Things wouldn't be hot and heavy if there were no interest. No need to rush it. Assuming he has no sexual problems and he's not shy or inexperienced, he's probably being a gentleman.
Author Scaatys2014 Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 I haven't heard from him since. I'm wondering if my telling him I didn't want to be a ONS turned him off? It came out in the middle of foreplay. I was willing to do "other things" for him but was a no go. I'm seriously regretting going back to his house now. Ugh. How could I have been so stupid? Y'know Deizel, women are "damned if they do, and damned if they don't" as well it would seem.
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