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Posted

Long story short, I have been with my older partner for 10 and a half years. We own a lovely home together and generally get on well.

 

Despite this, for a long time something has always felt off to me… like as much as I love him as a person I am not sure whether I want him as a partner forever. Our sex life has always felt rather forced on my part (more like an obligation as a partner as opposed to a genuine desire).

 

I was very young when we met (21) and he was nearly 40. I have changed a lot and he has remained the same.

 

This is not a case of having an itch. I have NO interest in going out and partying and being single. If anything I’d want to be very much alone. You might see some time ago I started a thread on here about another man. While I am still attracted to him, he plays no part in what I’m feeling now.

 

Recently a few things in our relationship have bothered me (neglect, occasional verbal abuse (no name calling but raising his voice), the silent treatment, never going out/away) and I brought them up with him and told him I want to break up. He loves me very much and has asked that I please give him time to make it up to me. He had no idea these issues even existed (my fault, I’m very much a keep the peace person and seldom speak up so as to not rock the boat) but now that he does, he wants to make them right.

 

Despite this sincerity, I know deep down inside that this isn’t the right relationship for me. I feel like he could whisk me off to Paris tomorrow and I’d still feel exactly the same. Am I wrong for not being the same person I was at 21 and having my feelings change?

Posted
Am I wrong for not being the same person I was at 21 and having my feelings change?

 

No, you're not..now move on.

Posted

It would be wrong if you were married. If you're not married, you haven't made a lifetime commitment.

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