SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 Clearly many in this thread are not aware of just how significantly the Sugar Baby concept has been woven into society these days. The problem, in this one case, is that the so-called Sugar Baby is effectively the same age as the so-called Sugar Daddy. That makes it far too easy for one or both sides to get lost beyond the boundaries of the transaction. By opting for such a relatively young Sugar Daddy, the OP is in large part responsible for the muddling of her own picture. By looking toward the Sugar Daddy website for actual romance, the OP has a strong hand in her own future (mess) where she may sign-on for a commitment to/from somebody, and may find herself both alone, and attached to one person at such time as whenever more fully suitable social candidates do find her neighborhood. The Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby concept has become almost a normal part of the western society these days, but the dynamics of it work best when it is a young, star-struck hottie (with a manipulative, self-entitled side) and a guy who has lots of money and very little time to offer anybody.
Author TOtiger Posted January 23, 2015 Author Posted January 23, 2015 Clearly many in this thread are not aware of just how significantly the Sugar Baby concept has been woven into society these days. The problem, in this one case, is that the so-called Sugar Baby is effectively the same age as the so-called Sugar Daddy. That makes it far too easy for one or both sides to get lost beyond the boundaries of the transaction. By opting for such a relatively young Sugar Daddy, the OP is in large part responsible for the muddling of her own picture. By looking toward the Sugar Daddy website for actual romance, the OP has a strong hand in her own future (mess) where she may sign-on for a commitment to/from somebody, and may find herself both alone, and attached to one person at such time as whenever more fully suitable social candidates do find her neighborhood. The Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby concept has become almost a normal part of the western society these days, but the dynamics of it work best when it is a young, star-struck hottie (with a manipulative, self-entitled side) and a guy who has lots of money and very little time to offer anybody. That's exactly it. Our first meeting was over drinks. Neither of us have done this before and have had no success with online dating in our city. It's the #1 city full of successful young professionals and the dating game is now full of flakey people who play head games to boost their own ego. It's a place where the dating game has changed to casual dating - everyone is fit, beautiful and single - the allure of a committed relationship has gone hiding somewhere. I'm a member of a social club with a yeah membership of $2000 - I meet successful men there but they are married. I go to art shoes and galas, I meet men there but they do not want a relationship right now as they are focused on their career (sooo they say, they want the sex but no commitment) I tried a professional matchmaker, a woman established in our city and she focuses on successful people. She has also confined that it's impossible to meet a good man here and she has to turn away clients or help them realize that she only focuses on people who want and are ready for a relationship - not a rebound. I've done the online dating, being set up with friends - I'm EXHAUSTED! So I took a LONG break My SD has gone through a similar experience and he just hasn't met anyone. When we first met, he said he was really looking for a relationship and was exploring the website. He's been single for 2 years and has gone on only a few dates. I had no reason to not believe him as I checked up on his story and it all checked out. Now him and I had the argument about the movies. He said he was joking and thought I over reacted. This is when he stated he's not looking for any drama - my fight with him made him rethink us dating. That's why it's complicated - I was PERFECTLY FINE with our original dating relationship. We went to restaurants, I loved getting dressed up and feeling special - I do this ANYWAYS when I date men in my city who are also millionaires - but it never gets passed 2 dates because they expect sex or they will jump to the next girl who will give it. Here I felt more comfortable because he stated he wanted a girlfriend who he could spend his time with - he spends most of his time with his family and some Evenings a week with male friends for coffee and dinner. Now it got complicated because we had to EXPOSE how we met . I am not sure if he was trying to take advantage - he has the money to have a sugar baby - I think it COULD be possible that we are just two very inexperienced people in the sugar bowl as they call it I am meeting him on Sunday to have dinner with him and his close friend who he works with. I am also staying at his condo 2 nights a week. The condo is empty - no furniture, not enough plates or glasses, just a bed and the absolute basics he needs for work. He Truly is a bachelor who has not really focused on himself and has just been focusing on work and his family. He supports both his mother and his sister in a house outside of the city - apareently it's very big with multiple guest apartments and all his other belongings are there. His refrigerator is empty as he only buys ready made foods and goes to his moms house most evenings for dinner. I just write that, it all checks out, it's not that he's living a seperate life - he just doesn't have one. I don't know if He is the right SD for me because what I need in this moment is financial support - I don't need to be wined and dined. I don't need designer clothes or shoes - I already have them. I want to give this an opportunity, and maybe these are the growing pains as we lost our sight as to what it truly is After my dinner with him and his friend on Sunday - I will thank him for his help as it' does help (but not enough). - and have drinks and see if and when he's able to negotiate an agreement
PegNosePete Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 I don't know if He is the right SD for me because what I need in this moment is financial support Have you TOLD him this? If not, how do you expect him to know?
Author TOtiger Posted January 23, 2015 Author Posted January 23, 2015 It is very clear in my profile and he has visited a few times before we spoke this week. He now knows how stressed I am that I am accumulating debt just to live. I think only when he threw money in my purse did he realize that this would neutralize are argument - it wasn't right for him to do it that way. But that's how it went down - the rest is the evening was fine. The next stage in this is for me to pull my emotions back (yes I truly do like him) and try to have this "relationship" at a normal pase - not rapid speed. We've been dating 1 month now including our initial email. The reason why I fell quickly, and it has nothing to do with Money, is that he's a quite down to earth man and I'm a wild fire type of woman. If anyone knows a Capricorn / Leo dynamic - this is US to a tee. He's Arab Christin from Jordan. His fathers side of the family lost everything in conflict and he brought his family to my country for a better life. His blood is Palestian and he doesn't watch television or read the world news because it upsets him. He didn't even know anything about the recent "terror" attacks that have been happening. My own personal beliefs are very pro Palestine - I don't want to get too much in that. But I was recently in a very heated argument with one of my closest school mates about Jews - he is a very hard core Jewish man and sends me tons of Israeli propaganda - some true some not. It was so heated that I brought it up in conversation with my SD, and he added that maybe I didn't know he was Palestinian. My heart sank and opened at the same time. He opened up to me about his family, how his father died and how he himself built his real estate empire (he got lucky because the prices have doubled). I'm too much of a old soul and every conversation we had was pretty deep and connecting. He's asked me to slow dance a few times on our dates at piano bars and jazz clubs. These type of things are more intimate then sex. When we first has sex, before the movie insident, he actually couldn't because he was too nervous. And since then, it's still been an issue. To him it's not 100% about sex because, well, he's still having difficulty in that area (he's 35). So yes I was naive in all of this, and given everything I've explained in the posts, I hope it gives a little more detail. I will talk to him again after our dinner and see how responsive he is. I do not want to walk away just yet.
RachR Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 This all seems so unnecessary and dramatic for this kind of an arrangement, and you haven't known him long, to boot and he's just the second one you've met. Why not just find another Sugar Daddy who would offer a better one?
RachR Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 Seriously, no matter what someone is doing... Dating, or things like Sugar Daddys or whatever... Making friends with coworkers... Developing a business relationship... So much drama and misgivings early on should indicate it will be tough and toxic
6Pack Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 So, are there any updates to this? Are you still getting paid cash by this guy? How much have you made so far?
TB Rhine Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I did bring up why he was on the website and hasn't ponied up? (I didn't say that but essentially) I think the bolded portion summarizes the issues you are having in a nutshell. You need to say what you mean, not "essentially" say it. Don't dance around it, don't use euphemisms and expect him to take the hint, and don't assume he knows the score because he's visited your profile several times. He's probably going there to look at your pics, or even just to see whether the profile is still up. You need to tell him what you want -- financial support, not nice clothes and fancy dinners -- and tell him that if you don't receive it, you will not continue interacting with him. This is the only way a true Sugar relationship is going to develop. If you want to have a *romantic* relationship with this man, on the other hand, then you need to abandon the pretense of him being obligated to support you unless and until the two of you get married, or at least move in together.
Buddhist Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Clearly many in this thread are not aware of just how significantly the Sugar Baby concept has been woven into society these days. The Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby concept has become almost a normal part of the western society these days, I wouldn't say western society, more likely the US. This concept is not very prevalent at all in my country.
Gary S Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 If you can date and go out to a movie theater, you can get a job. If you try to get into a half-baked relationship with an agenda other than love, it's a big gamble. 2
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I am Caucasian Christian You just brought shame to the Christian community.
beach Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Have you considered he may be gay and needs you as his beard/cover for his family and friends? This is the only things that makes sense to me since he wants to have you meet his co workers so quickly and his family. Also seems to make sense since he's having performance issues as you've alluded to - in the bedroom. Maybe he's gay? Maybe he's willing to spend some money to have you cover for him. 1
loveweary11 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 You just brought shame to the Christian community. Didn't Jesus have a hooker?
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