I hate my mom and I want to die

[nerdlingZA]

hate everything about her. ever since I was 17. im 19 and I want to study medicine but because I don't have physics on my subject list ive to do it for 2yrs in order to make it in medical schoo. I will be 21 when I start med school. but my mom wont fund the 2yrs she feels like im wasting her money and my time. she wants me to study whatever it is that I have to study. "studying for the sake of studying". im willing to waste the next 10yrs of my life doing medicine but shes the biggest barrier in me and my dream. becoming a doctor i s my dream and I can if she believed in me. shes 45 has a degree in tourism that has never helped her achieve anything in life. im her only child but shes the biggest problem in my life. Ive one week to register for physics. 2yrs. if I dont make it il commot suicide . im emotional while texting this

[eye of the storm]

NerdlingZA, first off you need to calm down.

 

If you are going to be a doctor, you need to learn how to look at situations from all angles, decide on a course of action, and then follow thru.

 

So lets take this one step at a time.

 

You are 19. You are a legal adult. You can take any course you want and go to medical school if you choose.

 

Starting medical school at 21 is not that big of a deal.

 

I have never heard a doctor mention that learning to be a doctor was wasting 10 years of their lives.

 

If your mother will not pay for you to attend all this college, she doesn't have to. Thru grants, scholarships, work-study, loans, and a job, pay for it yourself.

 

She cannot stop you from attending medical school, if you truly want to. Only you can do that.

 

Blaming your mother and calling her a barrier to your dreams says to me (also a mother) that you are looking for someone to blame if things don't go your way. So, pull up your big boy pants, decide what you want to do with your life, take responsibility for your decisions, and go out there and make your life happen.

 

I hope you make it the life you want.

[bathtub-row]

I'm sorry you're feeling so desperate that you're considering taking your life over something like this, while harboring such hatred for your mom. Have you ever heard of the expression, "Where there's a will, there's a way"? In other words, if you're really that determined to be a doctor, then figure it out. The tough news is, your mom isn't obligated to pay for your education. If she did, that would be a perk, not her duty.

 

I would strongly suggest that you realize that your mom has sacrificed a huge amount of her life and career for you and instead of the ungrateful way you're looking at her, change your view - for your sake and hers. Perhaps it was too difficult for her to change her life and career because she had a child to think of. I'm guessing that she doesn't think you're serious about being a doctor and genuinely doesn't want to waste her money. Again, that's her right. But, I'll bet if you get your butt out there and work hard enough to pay for classes, she may end up helping you. Even if she doesn't, you can do it on your own.

 

In the real world, you'll often need to prove yourself and your mom is actually doing you a favor by helping you understand this basic fact. So, if you really want it, then get out there and figure out how to make it happen - talk to school counsellors, ask about financial aid, etc. And forget about this deadline of the next 2 days. It's not the end of the world if things don't work out right away.

 

A person who's going into the medical field needs to be calm and mature. You're not showing signs of either of those things right now by taking the view that you have. You're acting more like an entitled child. Just some things to think about.

[No Limit]

Welcome to the "dreaming of medicine"-club. I'll start when I'm 22, 3 more years and can't wait either.

 

Aren't there other relatives who could help you? Or is it possible for you to get a scholarship?

[rbrock2323]

Sounds like you're the biggest problem in your life. Is everyone that over-entitled these days?

[spiderowl]

I am really sorry you are feeling like this and so frustrated with everything. It's possible your Mum doesn't understand your need and desire to study for medicine, but it's also possible that she can't afford to do it. Being a parent, I have been there trying to help my kids to do what they want to do and it can be very hard. I sought out grants, I tried to find them other opportunities to gain the skills they needed to do what really mattered to them, but it was an ongoing challenge and very stressful. I can imagine how disappointing it is to you.

 

There is bound to be another way. Look for grants from charities and organisations that try to help young people fulfill themselves. Libraries usually have resources for grants and there are resources online. There may be foundations who would support you, if they knew you were so interested. If you can't find a grant, then consider doing a part-time physics course and doing a job to fund it. I know that would be hard and not ideal, especially if you have friends who can go on to do what they want, but it would be a step towards your goal. You would also meet other people interested in physics who have taken different routes and who may prove to be good contacts in the future. Once you have the qualifications for med school - and assuming you can get some sort of grant to fund you through med school - you'd be on your way. You may have to do these grown up things when your peers don't have to, but I don't think you'd regret having real-life experience of work when you are qualified as a doctor and you see your peers have had an insular experience.

 

Another possibility might be crowd funding or similar. Worth having a look at such sites to see if people are willing to back you to follow your dream. Be careful to check the site and people are reputable and well-meaning. I'm afraid I know very little about them and I can't make recommendations, but I'm sure if you search you will find out which sites have the best reputations. Others on here may know the best ones.

 

There may also be online courses you can do, but I expect you'd need to travel to the educational institution for essential laboratory work.

 

I am sorry your Mum doesn't seem able to help you at the moment, whatever her reasons. If you can't do the physics now, don't give up, just get some work and start saving and look out for the next opportunity. You sound really keen and I'm sure if you approach this as a challenge to be overcome, even if it takes longer than usual, you will manage it. Try to treat everything as one small step towards your goal and it might seem less daunting.

Edited January 22, 2015 by spiderowl