How Soon To No Contact

[organizedchaos]

Yes I believe we both confused in love with our instant connection and instant sort of a passion we shared that was effortless and burnt brightly.

 

I hope we have both learnt a lesson.

 

Have you had women you fell harder for than your current girl?

 

I've had girls where the infatuation happened at a faster pace and I slept with on the first date and got in to a relationship with - but it didn't last. My last gf was like that. And looking back, I can see the love was not deep enough.

 

See - I prefer to be that girl that a man falls hardest for - and them me.

 

I just prefer that type of relationship, not the types where you have a slow burn (where previously you have felt more strongly about others)

 

I think it is reasonable, what I want, providing I learn to take it slower and act appropriately next time.

 

Good. We all want to be with someone who's in to us and vice versa. Just take it slow and don't get so caught up in the moment.

 

We have our preferred methods of falling; some posters have stated that hey prefer a slow build and they don't want instant sparks because it blinds them and causes them to overlook issues the person in question may have...

 

As long as, whatever mode of falling in love you most enjoy is also matched with a reasonable pace, and is coupled with mutual admiration, respect and trust - then I see no reason why I cannot have my preference for my hard and fast falling in love style, and you cannot have your own method of applying things when it comes to dating and love.....

 

Just recognize the dangers of your preferred method.

[organizedchaos]

 

I hope the two of us have learnt that falling in love requires at least 3 months or REALLY getting to know one another outside the bedroom and under all types of settings (when stress, without make up, at your worst and the like).

 

Yes, but really, shouldn't you have figured that out by your age? Life is not a reality dating show (as ironic as that statement is),

[Leigh 87]

I've had girls where the infatuation happened at a faster pace and I slept with on the first date and got in to a relationship with - but it didn't last. My last gf was like that. And looking back, I can see the love was not deep enough.

 

 

 

Good. We all want to be with someone who's in to us and vice versa. Just take it slow and don't get so caught up in the moment.

 

 

 

Just recognize the dangers of your preferred method.

 

 

 

I think it is perfectly reasonable to go for those who excite us the most initially, providing you are level leaded and don't rush into things or glance over things that make them incompatible in the name of "the wow factor".

 

There are no dangers as long as I take it slower and don't mistake being in love for being in lust. Nothing unrealistic for a 28 year old woman who has enough dating options to prefer this method.

 

When I lose my looks I will settle for being the girl that a guy wasn't initially infatuated by or "that into", but had to grow to be crazy about over months. For now I am sure that I will find love and a potential husband by the time I finish by degree or maybe after I finish - three years it takes - using my strong attraction -at -first- glance- method.

 

We are who we are based on our unique life experiences; I happen to really prefer one method of dating so far, which I have really enjoyed and do not regret.

 

You are free to enjoy your girlfriend and to adopt your dating approach of not needing strong instant chemistry should your relationship dwindle (although I do hope it is long and healthy!)

[evanescentworld]

If you're going to diss everyone who's posting, even though it appears you've been a long-term member and they know your dating habits (and honestly, I spent an hour or two reading your threads - my goodness, what an experience that was!! I can't un-read them now!!) then what's the point of you even asking for advice?

 

You post a question, the thread expands into pointing out where things went seriously wrong - and you've argued every point, every step of the way!!

 

Why don't YOU spend a couple of hours reading ALL your threads, and evaluate them as if they had been posted by someone else - then decide how 'the OP' comes across?

 

The resulting dispassionate and detached assessment, may shock you.

Seriously, I really think you should absolutely quit trying to date anyone for at least a year.

 

Or two.

 

You sound like an unstoppable accident waiting to hit a wall at the speed of light....

 

If I were a potential date of yours and I read your threads, nothing could carry me away fast enough....

[Leigh 87]

If you're going to diss everyone who's posting, even though it appears you've been a long-term member and they know your dating habits (and honestly, I spent an hour or two reading your threads - my goodness, what an experience that was!! I can't un-read them now!!) then what's the point of you even asking for advice?

 

You post a question, the thread expands into pointing out where things went seriously wrong - and you've argued every point, every step of the way!!

 

Why don't YOU spend a couple of hours reading ALL your threads, and evaluate them as if they had been posted by someone else - then decide how 'the OP' comes across?

 

The resulting dispassionate and detached assessment, may shock you.

Seriously, I really think you should absolutely quit trying to date anyone for at least a year.

 

Or two.

 

You sound like an unstoppable accident waiting to hit a wall at the speed of light....

 

If I were a potential date of yours and I read your threads, nothing could carry me away fast enough....

 

 

 

I've learnt. I no longer to for men who aren't into me or who treat me poorly.

 

I've realized that I don't enjoy casual.

 

I've learnt to not look for love. I don't even go online now.

 

And now I've learnt to move slower.

 

I never think that I should give all the lovely guys a chance who i know are good characters when i don't have fireworks. I have a few really interested but i don't see anything wrong with preferring a strong instant attraction.

 

i don't see the problem with not dating unless there's the strong instant attraction with a guy who I'll get to at a reasonable pace this time.

 

I enjoy blogging about dating on here. I don't or get upset when things down work. I don't attach as much investment as people assume.

 

I follow advice and at least the men i now go for treat me well for the time we're together. Irish guy was hones when he knew a relationship wouldn't work rather than string me along for sex whenever he visited my state ( which he does once a month ). He was a decent enough guy to go no contact.

[organizedchaos]

I think it is perfectly reasonable to go for those who excite us the most initially, providing you are level leaded and don't rush into things or glance over things that make them incompatible in the name of "the wow factor".

 

There are no dangers as long as I take it slower and don't mistake being in love for being in lust. Nothing unrealistic for a 28 year old woman who has enough dating options to prefer this method.

 

When I lose my looks I will settle for being the girl that a guy wasn't initially infatuated by or "that into", but had to grow to be crazy about over months. For now I am sure that I will find love and a potential husband by the time I finish by degree or maybe after I finish - three years it takes - using my strong attraction -at -first- glance- method.

 

We are who we are based on our unique life experiences; I happen to really prefer one method of dating so far, which I have really enjoyed and do not regret.

 

You are free to enjoy your girlfriend and to adopt your dating approach of not needing strong instant chemistry should your relationship dwindle (although I do hope it is long and healthy!)

 

You misunderstood what I said. There WAS strong, instant chemistry when we met. But we didn't act like high school kids on their first crush and "fall in love " in the first three weeks. We were mature about it. Thanks for the backhanded compliment. Hopefully your good looks, which you seem to constantly remind us about, last a long, long time.

[mtnbiker3000]

This is like a copy and paste of your previous threads. It reads exactly the same. You make the exact same points. Do you not see a pattern?

[Rejected Rosebud]

Neither of us wanted or were looking for a relationship at all.

 

You have no idea what he was or wasn't looking for AT ALL, he was a stranger you met on a train and spent a few hours with and then flew far away to have sex with, what is so hard to understand, YOU DID NOT KNOW THIS GUY. In your fantasies you BOTH "fell in love" and circumstances kept you apart or whatever. FANTASIES. your life will go a LOT better if you learn how to separate your fantasies about what's going on from realities and also realize that it takes a really long time to actually KNOW what another person is thinking or feeling no matter how much "chemistry" or whatever you get with a guy you just met. I'm sorry Leigh but it's hard to read all your posts here about your fantasies and see that you have zero room to actually pay attention to another person or really experience what is going on, all that matters to you is what stories you are telling yourself and us.

[Leigh 87]

You have no idea what he was or wasn't looking for AT ALL, he was a stranger you met on a train and spent a few hours with and then flew far away to have sex with, what is so hard to understand, YOU DID NOT KNOW THIS GUY. In your fantasies you BOTH "fell in love" and circumstances kept you apart or whatever. FANTASIES. your life will go a LOT better if you learn how to separate your fantasies about what's going on from realities and also realize that it takes a really long time to actually KNOW what another person is thinking or feeling no matter how much "chemistry" or whatever you get with a guy you just met. I'm sorry Leigh but it's hard to read all your posts here about your fantasies and see that you have zero room to actually pay attention to another person or really experience what is going on, all that matters to you is what stories you are telling yourself and us.

 

 

 

I had an amazing time. I'm a traveler. I am still really happy that I got to visit Perth and I really enjoyed my time with him. No regrets. I gained more than I lost.

 

I think it's unhealthy to disbelieve people the way you do. I just think he meant what he said, we BOTH got carried away and let our " feelings" dictate the pace rather than common logic.

 

He just really liked me and thought he could overlook his predicament in order to give things a shot. It didn't work out. He did nothing wrong.

 

We had a great time. I don't see the issue. He went no contact because he didn't want to to hurt me. He did the right thing which is more than I can say for previous guys who threw breadcrumbs.

Edited January 22, 2015 by Leigh 87

[Leigh 87]

This is like a copy and paste of your previous threads. It reads exactly the same. You make the exact same points. Do you not see a pattern?

 

Except I learn from my mistakes.

 

I no longer cry or get upset about break ups with the men I'm with for mere weeks. But I still enjoy blogging about them.

 

I no longer entertain men who aren't tthat into me.

 

I no longer act overzealous. I wait for the man to text first and I respond once. I mirror their level of interest. I wanted to go on a holiday to see latest guy but I was still very much mirroring his level of interest. ..He wined and wined me and bought me a necklace that far exceeded the would be flight cost ( I has flyer miles a I didn't have to pay for the trip).

 

I'm glad I went.. we were just two people that liked each other a lot and we were surprised at how much we seemed to like one another for the relatively short time span. We just went with it. Before things went south he had long since talked about visiting me .

 

I am glad i visited him when I did since...If i hadn't, I would still be talking to him and " together" (his words) with a man I knew nothing about. It's good it ended sooner rather than later so I can pick myself up and make sure not to rush into things again with the next person.

[Leigh 87]

You misunderstood what I said. There WAS strong, instant chemistry when we met. But we didn't act like high school kids on their first crush and "fall in love " in the first three weeks. We were mature about it. Thanks for the backhanded compliment. Hopefully your good looks, which you seem to constantly remind us about, last a long, long time.

 

 

I don't want to act like a high schooler either. And I won't again. I admit we both got too carried away.

 

I do, however, want to meet a match where we do share that instant chemistry, as you did. The difference now, is that I have learnt an important lesson and I will be moving at a reasonable pace next time.

 

I never said I was a beauty; just as many people find me plain or ugly, as they do beautiful. MY POINT: I am thin and attractive to enough men in order for me to realistically generate natural sparks and chemistry with a high enough volume of men.

 

Plus I have a lot to offer aside from my body. That is why I have had ample supplies of men who have been interested in me - it wasn't about my looks. They thought I was interesting, funny and kind. It wasn't just my looks that garnered Irish guys interest. He thought I was funny and we meshed in a unique way that he hadn't really had with other girls - it was not a looks only thing, we thought there could have been some more substance do it; obviously not enough for him to overlook the obstacle we faced and want to go to the trouble of long distance.

 

It was his personality I fell for when we met on a train. I didn't think " wow" when I saw him! It was his personality and his energy that got me, and his looks were obviously to my liking but not the first thing I noticed. I like cheeky men that are a little daring, which he was in spades.

 

The men who have adored me the most have highlighted it was for reasons well beyond the superficial.

 

I have had mediocre - chemistry - based relationships where my ex of 2.5 years, the "hooker" guy, he went for me because I was " different" and he felt intrigued and ... he just liked the fact I was so different from any other person he had met. I also loved his personality. We made each other laugh. We really got along well and loved living together and having each other there every day - all that was missing was the "chemistry". And we HAD some chemistry, we had great sex. We just didn't have a HIGH degree of chemistry - we were devoid of passion, from his end not from mine, sadly:(

 

I have had enough relationship experience to know that I prefer instant and intense chemistry and a lot of passion that is effortless. THEN we can take it from there, and establish a solid foundation and see if we are truly ideal matches MINUS the insta relationship bullsh*t.

 

I have had the great matches in terms of the way our personalities meshes, and then I have had the effortlessly passionate based flings too that lacked depth. I need both - So far, I have had one or the other to varying degrees.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I think it's unhealthy to disbelieve people the way you do.

 

I don't disbelieve people at all until they prove to be dishonest, but what I do that you do not is that I give people a chance to show me who they are and I give myself a chance to observe whether their words match their actions. I'm not even saying this guy was lying to you Leigh but the things you claim he said are exactly the same things you claim EVERY SINGLE GUY you get a crush on says, so we know that can't be real. Anyway I am glad you had a good time I just wish you would be a grown up about stuff!!

I think it would be smart for you to go back and read ALL of this thread where you started off on Jan 4 telling us all how he was putting in such an effort to play you and then by Jan 5 you were ready to get on a plane.https://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/509314-men-why-do-you-try-hard-merely-sex

Edited January 22, 2015 by Rejected Rosebud

[MidwestUSA]

 

I don't accept bad behaviour.

 

 

 

 

Apparently, neither does he!

[Leigh 87]

I don't disbelieve people at all until they prove to be dishonest, but what I do that you do not is that I give people a chance to show me who they are and I give myself a chance to observe whether their words match their actions. I'm not even saying this guy was lying to you Leigh but the things you claim he said are exactly the same things you claim EVERY SINGLE GUY you get a crush on says, so we know that can't be real. Anyway I am glad you had a good time I just wish you would be a grown up about stuff!!

I think it would be smart for you to go back and read ALL of this thread where you started off on Jan 4 telling us all how he was putting in such an effort to play you and then by Jan 5 you were ready to get on a plane.https://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/509314-men-why-do-you-try-hard-merely-sex

 

He is the type who never gives a damp about more than just sex. I was at first skeptical that I was a woman who he took seriously. I definitely believe that he wanted more than sex despite my initial reservations.

 

Guys like him don't go to any effort with women. I dismissed him entirely initially until I felt hey, I think he genuine really likes me and wants to give things a go.

 

I genuinely believe he felt like he wanted to give things a real shot. His room mate who has known him for years told me that he acted differently with me and she also felt he wanted to give things a shot.

 

Before my misadventure with his friends they also remarked that I was the first girlfriend he had ever introduced as a girlfriend in the years that they knew him.

 

My gut feeling on the matter.. He really liked me and wanted to give the girlfriend thing a shot. He realized I wasn't worth it and ended things.

Edited January 22, 2015 by Leigh 87

[Leigh 87]

Apparently, neither does he!

 

 

 

And so he shouldn't.

 

He was nothing but nice to me. I messed up not him.

 

He was lovely to me for the last day after I misbehaved.

 

Then he went no contact and ended things in a way that would hurt me as little as possible.

 

I don't think he's a liar or a bad guy at all.....

[FredJones80]

Someone is living in a fantasy world... or a picnic short of a few sandwiches.

[Sqeeze]

Hi leigh87. After reading some of your threads and posts I have to ask. Have you ever been to or considered seeing a psychologist? I don't mean to be mean but you are delusional.

[Leigh 87]

I believe the guy was really into me and wanted a relationship at one stage.

 

I think he liked me enough to want to at least try it before changing his mind.

 

There is nothing delusional going on here.

 

He, too, got caught away in the moment over a girl he only just met on the train.

 

There is nothing inherently wrong with two people meeting, having very strong chemistry and then just " going with it" and getting swept away in the moment.

 

It isn't always a case of the guy lying the entire time about being into a girl.

[FredJones80]

I think you receive what you perceive. It's a very dangerous trait to have. You believe what you want to believe, therefore it is true. I'm not saying this guy in this particular case wasn't "in to you"... after all, you elicit such emotions in many men (by your own admission)

 

However, don't forget, many men will also hum along to your tune to get what they want (ie; sex) and then drop you when they've had their fill.

 

Take care of yourself, life isn't a Disney movie.

[David87]

Hi leigh87. After reading some of your threads and posts I have to ask. Have you ever been to or considered seeing a psychologist? I don't mean to be mean but you are delusional.

 

This !!! 100% agree

[LovelyDaze]

Hi leigh87.

 

We all understand you have an idea of the type of person you like. As you describe it, you have to have "fireworks". But please look at David87's signature again. That famous quote is very true.

 

Think of it this way: You keep making a cake for a baking contest but you are SO certain you want ten cups of confetti sprinkles all over the cake despite others' advice to possibly try something different and new that will be just as great and get you what you've always wanted. After multiple bakes time after time with the same recipe, you keep losing out.

 

Do yourself a favor and just TRY to date differently out of your comfort zone. Date a guy that you would normally put in the "friend file". A LOT of beautiful, long lasting relationships start as friends first because they did not expect to fall in love. It grew from the root up and blossomed creating plenty of those fireworks that actually last.

[Leigh 87]

Hi leigh87.

 

We all understand you have an idea of the type of person you like. As you describe it, you have to have "fireworks". But please look at David87's signature again. That famous quote is very true.

 

Think of it this way: You keep making a cake for a baking contest but you are SO certain you want ten cups of confetti sprinkles all over the cake despite others' advice to possibly try something different and new that will be just as great and get you what you've always wanted. After multiple bakes time after time with the same recipe, you keep losing out.

 

Do yourself a favor and just TRY to date differently out of your comfort zone. Date a guy that you would normally put in the "friend file". A LOT of beautiful, long lasting relationships start as friends first because they did not expect to fall in love. It grew from the root up and blossomed creating plenty of those fireworks that actually last.

 

 

Please don't tell me how to date!

 

I am doing fine thanks and I absolutely love my dating life! I have a lot of fun and I am really enjoying myself. I get more fun out of it than I do any "pain". The high times are great and they dominate - the hurt from the fall outs lasts perhaps a few days tops, a lot less than the time I spent with the person in question, both very happy together.

 

I really enjoy my dating life thankyou and to me it is "working" because I am having a blast and learning about different types of men!

 

I think it's a p*ss poor attitude to say " well it isn't working for you, because you are still single" Yeah so what? Single isn't bad? I am 28 with no desire to have kids! I don't have some grand plan to HAVE to be in a relationship ASAP!

 

You don't know me how on earth would YOU know whether or not I am desperate enough for a relationship, for me to have to date guys I am indifferent about just because "some relationships" start out with two people who are lukewarm for one another, and yet it leads to some "beautiful" very slow burning affair? I am not the type of person who enjoys a slow burn - I would likely meet another guy in the meanwhile lol who I actually felt excited about and go for him and ditch the "slow burn" friend guy who I was "trying" to like in that way:laugh:

 

Some people prefer to be excited about the person they are dating from day one. Plus the couples I know who had instant chemistry and attraction had much more passionate sex than those who had to try hard to manufacture chemistry that just wasn't there. I have slept with men where the chemistry had to be manufactured - for 2.5 years I had one of those men! Sex was great, sure, but no where NEAR as passionate and with as much "sizzle" as the sex was with those people who we felt NATURAL chemistry with!

 

Some women are attractive enough to generate plenty of sparks and fire works. I am not hot sh*t but and I am not everyone's cup of tea but look I have what it takes to realistically generate mutual chemistry with ENOUGH men - for me to have the luxury of waiting for one of THOSE interactions to lead into a relationship.

 

Well yes I am still single - by choice - I have plenty of very nice men who are not ugly and who adore me - who all want a relationship with me. I decline because I AM HAPPY single, I AM HAPPY waiting for a more chemistry driven affair. It is not gunna take until I am 40 for me to find sparks and chemistry with a man who is also compatible with me. My therapist has done extensive research on the matter and on average, it takes 1 in 50 men who you share instant "fireworks" with, to be a good match. So going on dates with 50 men is not exactly " waiting until I am 40":laugh:

 

I am only 28, I have had long term relationships lasting years and I am still really enjoying my dating life so please can you stop trying to tell me that " it isn't working" for me when I am actually having a really good time, and I am in no rush to have to find " the one".

[Leigh 87]

I think you receive what you perceive. It's a very dangerous trait to have. You believe what you want to believe, therefore it is true. I'm not saying this guy in this particular case wasn't "in to you"... after all, you elicit such emotions in many men (by your own admission)

 

However, don't forget, many men will also hum along to your tune to get what they want (ie; sex) and then drop you when they've had their fill.

 

Take care of yourself, life isn't a Disney movie.

 

 

Hello I am 28 and I date a lot - I DO realise some men lie to get sex. In fact, I have had it happen to me!

 

This guy thought he wanted a relationship and was really into me. He changed his mind.

 

I don't think he was a lying douche all along. He isn't the type to tell a girl to fly out to see him when he only ever saw her as a "good time girl". He actually thought we had a chance at having a future together.

 

I really don't think his house mate, female, was in on any "lie". She too, thought he was taking me seriously and that he had the best of intentions...

 

Some guys lie. Others wanted a relationship but simply changed their minds - it happens all the time....

[Leigh 87]

Can people please stop trying to tell me to date men I am not into and to adopt their own approach to dating? You can all do as you please. I am actually really happy dating the men I feel chemistry for and don't feel that I will have to wait until I am 40 for a relationship.

 

Please just focus on the topic - no contact - rather than trying to tell me that my dating life apparently isn't working for me?

 

I didn't date around in my 20's until the past 6 months and I am really needing to do it, in order to determine what I like and don't like. I only had two long term bfs and one semi serious one until last October - now is my time to date around and figure out what different types of men are out there.

 

I am not LOOKING for a long term, "the one" type of relationship, I mean sheesh, I am at an age where I still feel like experimenting with different types of men. I don't need unsolicited "advice" as to how I can go about finding a "life partner" when that is now what it is that I am looking for; I am looking to get to know different types of men. Not sleep with them - just date them. I am the kind of woman where I wont have issues in finding a partner eventually - I know I will bump into various men where we will BOTH feel instant sparks, and one of those men will turn out to be more than just chemistry.

 

So yeah at age 28 I am NOT worrying, nor am I seeking advice, as to how I can get tied down ASAP....

 

Sure when feelings are involved and instant chemistry and "feelings" seem to come about simply from being around a person - I DO want to go with those feelings and I DO want to hope for the best. I was hoping me and Irish guy could have explored a relationship. Then again - I don't want a relationship anytime soon - enough for me to warrant "trying" to give the men who I am not excited about a chance.

 

I don't really appreciate people trying to tell me that I am " not happy" and that I "need to do this, or that" in order to be happy. It is frustrating and insulting when people feel that THEY know best how to make me happy in life.

 

I wouldn't be happy dating men I only view as friends and who I have no spark with.

 

Plenty of posters here don't adopt that approach and they date men who they are excited about going on a second date with.

 

Back on topic please?

 

Cheers.

 

..............................................................

 

So after no contact since the break up, he texted me last night.

 

" I hope we can be friends x"

 

I said " I'd love that"

 

He said " good x"

 

------------------------------- He told me point blank when he ended it that I am not the type of girl he can ever be casual with when it comes to sex, that he either wanted to make a go of it, and text and call me every day and have a fledging relationship - or friends. He said he cant do in between with me. He is basically looking for a fun girl for a few weekends - when it comes to his sex life - not a girl he will catch feelings for, or who will catch feelings for him.

 

I left him alone since NC, I answered his text regarding wanting to be friends, and I don't plan on texting him again unless he wants to chat. I have done well - when a guy doesn't want to be with me, I accept it and leave it be. Same thing happened just after Christmas - I met a guy, I waited for him to initiate texts and when he stopped, I initiated a text or two (which he responded to) but it still faded out. I let it fade out and didn't say a word. So yeah, I am definitely handling men well. Then the "fader" texted me again last week... I replied.. he said that he never lost interest but he thought I lost interest because I stopped texting him....I know that if a guy fades out, he never liked you enough to begin with.

 

I am happy that, despite feeling " chemistry" and "feelings" for men I newly date, that I can quiet happily leave it be, I don't demand answers or closure, I just stop texting them and leave them be.The old Leigh would have been " so, why aren't you interested, can you just give me a straight answer so I can move on"

 

I feel like we were not together for long enough for the "friends" bullcr!p to be odd. We got along and make each other laugh and we are both travellers that enjoy collecting experiences in life. I think we will genuinely be friends and meet up again on our travels one day in the distance future.

[LovelyDaze]

How long should you wait in order to instigate no contact?

 

Is there ever a grey area whereby you may or may not break up indefinitely?

 

We have known each other for three weeks. He introduced me to his two best friends last Friday. I drunk too much and offended one of his friends and alluded that my guy hated his boss. He was very angry but said he wanted to forget about it and cuddle/hold hands and chat once I left ( we are long distance) as per usual. We hadn't known each other long, and although he said that he wants to continue with me, hasn't initiated texts or calls since I flew back from visiting him. Things are different; he has gone from initiating daily texts and calls, sometimes initiating multiple per day, to nothing; he responds when I text him though. He doesn't say he misses me or wishes he was with me anymore. It has only been three days after the "incident" occurred. Should I assume that, because things are not as good as they once were, that we are finished, and cut it off now so I can get over him ASAP? I have it badly for this guy more than any guy I have previously known.

 

Or should I give him a chance to initiate contact, give him space and wait to see whether or not he comes around? My friend said that it is not looking great the way he has changed the way he texts and calls me - never initiating and only replying with matter of fact responses. Then again, it has not even been a mere month!

 

I think we got carried away; we had an instant connection and we fell very hard and fast. We fell in love so fast (we are late 20s and we have had several relationships and we are both attractive and have ample experience with meeting members of the opposite sex). We know what falling in love is, and we are both surprised that it happened rather fast. I think it is normal to get freaked after jumping into things way too fast, and his reaction is totally understandable! He saw that sometimes ****e happens, and it obviously made him re asses how fast we had launched into a relationship without properly spending ample time together in order to determine if we are suitable....AND are able to get past obstacles and still be into one another.

 

Should I cut my losses now, at the first sign a man is acting differently towards me? Or should I wait before jumping the gun? Give it say, one week, and if he initiates texts and calls he gets back to seeming happy and excited about me, then... yeah that would be ideal:(

 

It is only three weeks after all, surely it is too soon to tell whether or not it has come to an end OR, alternatively, if he just needs space after 5 full days with me and that one setback?

 

I guess some women say " well.. if things "change" it is always a bad sign. And it is.

 

Leigh 87,You are correct. I do not know you at all.

 

But I posted a comment(suggestion) to be kind like the other LS members on here because of how you started this thread. Much success and love in the way you have been dating so far. Please continue.

Edited January 24, 2015 by LovelyDaze