TB Rhine Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 So I go to the apartment complex where this girl lives to pick her up. I text her, she says she'll be out in ten minutes. I wait twenty minutes, then thirty, she never shows up. So I leave. Literally as soon as I get half a mile or so down the road, she texts and says, "Where are you?" So I go back and pick her up. The date goes smoothly after that. The next time we see each other, we decide to meet at a local mall. I end up walking around that mall for 2 or 3 hours, in pretty continuous cell contact with her the whole time. She keeps saying she's at a friend's house nearby and will be there in twenty minutes or so. Over and over again. For 2 or 3 hours. Eventually she arrives, and after that things again so smoothly. Last time we agreed to meet, she directs me to the mall where we met up the previous time, then sends me a text message once I'm almost there changing her mind, and telling me to pick her up at her apartment complex instead. (This tacks about a half an hour onto my trip, as this mall and her place are in opposite directions). I get to her apartment complex and again she says she'll be out in ten minutes or so. Again she's nowhere to be seen after 20. Again I leave. This time I don't hear from her again. Any ideas as to what's going on? This girl's behavior is absolutely perplexing to me. :-/
Gloria25 Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 Why don't you ask? I mean, have you had sex yet? Maybe she's afraid to ask/allow you up cuz she might think that it implies sex? Maybe she keeps a messy place or is living with a bf/guy? I think what she's doing is rude...if you all are in an established RL and/or if sex already happened. I know we women sometimes are "late" with getting ready, but there's times I'd just invite the guy I'm seeing in and have him chill while I'm getting ready. With my last FWB I'd even offer/serve him a glass of wine/beer so he can chill and relax while I'm finishing up...it's the polite thing to do. 2
katlover Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 Yea that's some stupid ****.. Ay if she makes you wait again just leave and don't come back. And if she calls tell her that she can't keep you waiting(especially if your the one whos picking her up) like this all the time. It is very impolite and rude. 1
NoC Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 Her behaviour is unacceptable. No point wasting your time on girls like her OP. I would buy a one way ticket to North Carolina, I hear it's nice this time of the year.... read sig. 1
mortensorchid Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 I have a friend or two who is chronically tardy like this. You have to just accept it. Say "I'll meet you at 7" and then they don't get there until 8. In your case, however, I think you have to just either adjust by saying she'll be there when she feels like it or move on. Being chronically tardy says that they don't really care about others around them to be on time. Either accept that about them and move on or don't accept it and move on. In your case, however, I would assume that she does not really care about anyone but herself and you should take that into consideration - that is, don't bother with her.
todreaminblue Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 it is strange...maybe a test to see how you react....maybe i am not sure...i go with what the other posters say and be honest with her that it is getting to you....deb
gaius Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 I had a girlfriend that was always late but she'd show up eventually, and I'd tease her about it and sometimes tell her to meet me earlier than I was going to be there so we'd both show up closer to the same time. I get the vibe with this one it's a sht test, she wants to see how you'll respond. And if you're not saying anything and eating that sht she's probably losing interest. Next time you're waiting at the mall tell her to get there in 30 minutes or you're leaving without her / gonna go pick up another girl at the food court, in a semi-playful but serious way. And follow through if she doesn't show. 1
Omei Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 (edited) I cant stand people like this OP the least very least a person can do for another person is respect their time and be punctual we all have our lives to live, esp when that person takes time out for you. Just let her go When I meet partners or new friends that do this treatment to me consistently (once and a while late is acceptable and normal like anyone else) but if it seems to be each and everytime I tell them we cant be friends I once hosted a birthday party for a friend that asked me if id host the party at my place I agreed and she gave me a time, I spent all day cleaning and decorating and got the cake as well all our friends showed up and we had to wait three hours for her arrival after the party start time when she came she stayed maybe 1 hour, everyone was quite pissed lol People like your girl op are selfish they have no sense of time and care little if others have to wait for them much longer they feel the world is revolved around them Edited January 20, 2015 by Omei
SycamoreCircle Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 Walk away from this. I dealt with a woman like this. Briefly. I think in some ways they are trying to sabotage the date. Let them. On to better things.
Author TB Rhine Posted January 20, 2015 Author Posted January 20, 2015 I don't think it's a s--- test, as I've gotten quite upset with her about it and she hasn't ever refused to continue seeing me. Also, in my previous experience most tests seem to involve canceling at the last minute and such like that, not keeping someone waiting for insanely long periods of time. It's crossed my mind that perhaps she's hiding something -- like maybe she doesn't want me to know where she lives, or is couch-surfing or something, so she sends me somewhere to pick her up, then ends up taking longer to get there herself than she intended. In fact, I strongly suspect that in the first case (at her apartment complex) she was either inside watching me from a window or something and waiting for me to drive off, so she could come outside without me seeing which building she came out of, OR that she'd driven there and was waiting in her car, and didn't want me to see that she DIDN'T actually come out of one of the buildings. She was just WAY too quick about texting me once I'd actually driven off. I've also wondered if she maybe has a kid that she hasn't told me about, and is running around trying to find some place to stash him before meeting up.
Omei Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 (edited) I dont think there is a hidden agenda here if there was she would be psycho, I honestly think shes just too selfish to value your time. Edited January 20, 2015 by Omei
Winterina Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 I always read into things like this something about person's character. She is apparently selfish. She does not respect you or your time. She is inconsiderate and has no feelings about needs of others. This is just one of many manifestations of that character and if you stay with her you will see it in every aspect of your life. A nice and respectful girl would not do that to you. Move on, ignore, don't be a door-matt. 2
lovexocoach Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 You're being disrespected. Plain and simple. I wouldn't put up with that at all. There are many women out there who wouldn't do that to the man they respect, appreciate, and love. 1
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Talk to her and just ask her WTF. Let her know your theories, from her having a kid, to couch surfing to even maybe she's married and hiding that from you. I am curious now why she's gone through such extremes. I don't think she's game playing here, something is just very 'off' with her.
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