Jadedbyluv Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 I've had a friends with benefits type situation for a few months now while I've been dating other people. He is the only person I've been with sexually. I thought I was fine with the wat things were but after every date, I would think about him and when I would see him again. I looked more forward to seeing him than anybody else. I realized I was started to catch feelings. He said something to me last week about if I had been on any other dates lately. It made me think why does he even bother to ask? I was going to just let things stay how they were until we hung out over the weekend. I realized I kinda liked him. I told him I wasn't sure what I was looking for but wanted more than sex. I let him know that I understood if we weren't on the same page but I needed to know. He basically he said he just doesn't have an answer for me. I haven't really heard from him since then but I kinda assume that we don't stand on the same page. He said he was self centered so I guess that speaks for myself. Was I wrong to be so forthcoming?
Gaeta Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 Of course you did the right thing. When your feelings get all tangled in a fwb it's better for it to end. What it says is that your heart is free to love and it's a good time to search for someone that will reciprocate that love.
Leigh 87 Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 He said something to me last week about if I had been on any other dates lately. It made me think why does he even bother to ask? Ahh. Another women who reads too much into the " are you dating other people" line. I assure you, that this is NOT some sort of a hint that he secretly cares a lot or wants you as his girlfriend. My ex had no romantic interest in me once we broke up but get, he still felt hurt at the idea of me being with other men! It is natural for men to feel somewhat territorial over the women they are sexually active with/were sexually active with. I was going to just let things stay how they were until we hung out over the weekend. I realized I kinda liked him. I told him I wasn't sure what I was looking for but wanted more than sex. I let him know that I understood if we weren't on the same page but I needed to know. He basically he said he just doesn't have an answer for me. Well there ya go:) He gave you the answer you needed to know. After all the time spend with you, he still cannot figure out if he likes you enough to date you seriously. I don't envy you. My current guy knew after the first time we met that he wanted to consider me for dating and he was open to something serious from the get go. I haven't really heard from him since then but I kinda assume that we don't stand on the same page. He said he was self centered so I guess that speaks for myself. He admitted that he was self centred. Meaning: he knows you are into him.. you told him and men can smell it a mile away.. and yet he still wants fun with you because he wants sex even though he knows it will hurt you when he does find a woman who knocks his socks off and ends it with you. Was I wrong to be so forthcoming? No. You know where you stand if you will stop reading into things and actually understand what his man has spelt out for you! When a man really falls for a woman and is really into her, he knows early on from the first time he has sex with you whether or not he sees you as relationship material or not. The fact this guy admitted that he had ' no answer' means that he doesn't like you enough to consider you relationship material. He would know by now whether he liked you enough to want to date you seriously. There is your answer ^^^ please just get the message and stop constructing "alternative" scenarios where he actually DOES want you because, you know... he asks about other men you are dating (means he must care right!?)
lovexocoach Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 You did the right thing. You know where you stand with him now. He's not interested in you for a committed relationship. Continuing to be his FWB won't improve the situation and you'll get hurt. Time to drop this guy, move on, and find a quality man who will treat you well.
Recommended Posts