What if she doesn't respond to one message?

[johnpennington]

I reconnected with this girl I went to elementary school with and I'd like to date her or at least reconnect and become friends again. We were friends a loooong time ago. We're both in our early 20s now. I added her on Facebook and we had a little over an hour long conversation from about 12:30 in the morning to about 2 in the morning. The conversation was running smooth and friendly. She asked me what I've been doing with myself etc.. Eventually I told her it was good talking to her and we should catch up sometime. I said it as a statement rather than as a question. Basically, I said "It was nice talkin to you. We should catch up sometime, dont be a stranger!" She read the message and never responded. I've asked my friends what I should do now and some told me that it's just the internet and you cant take a cue like that so meaningfully from the internet. Some have said, "Just because it says she read a Facebook message and didnt respond, doesn't mean she doesn't like you." They basically told me to keep talking to her.

 

So even though she didnt respond to when I said "We should catch up sometime, don't be a stranger!" she's liked my Facebook statuses somewhat frequently since then. Which makes me think, if she was creeped out that I asked her to hang out, why would she still associate herself with me? Why would she still be liking my facebook statuses? Maybe she wasnt creeped out or maybe she wasnt totally disinterested?

 

Should I start another conversation with her? What are your opinions? I can say personally that if there was a girl who I thought might be interested in me and I had no interest in her at all, I wouldnt associate with her at all. I wouldn't Like or Comment any of her statuses. The fact that she's liked some of my statuses makes me think that she's not "creeped" out by me. Again, what are your opinions? Should I have a normal conversation with her and after a few conversations, maybe ask for her number? Thanks.

[Raena]

Start up another conversation. She probably just fell asleep since it was so late at night.

[johnpennington]

Thanks for the reply. It was late at night and when I was talking to her, she did stop answering (must've fell asleep) but we picked the conversation back up in the morning and that's when I said "we should catch up sometime" and she didn't respond. But like I said, she's been liking some of my statuses which makes me think that maybe she doesn't think I'm a creep and maybe she's not totally disinterested... I'm just trying to work up the courage to message her again without sounding weird and without falling flat on my face...

[preraph]

I think she thought what you consider an invitation too vague to be a real invitation and that it was more like the old cliche "Let's have lunch sometimes," which never materializes and everyone knows it.

 

I think in this instance you can message her the first time you have something special you think she might like and just touch base with her asking what she's been up to and then tell her you have tickets to some concert or want to go see a certain movie on Friday or try a new restaurant for lunch and ask if she'd like to go with. If she turns you down and it sounds like an excuse, you should at that point just go back to "liking," but maybe she'll accept.

[todreaminblue]

i wouldnt like facebook pages of a guy if i was creeped out by him......so i dont feel that she is creeped out by you ....just ask her out...take the plunge and set a definite date and time......see if she excepts....deb

[Assada]

why would anyone consider you a creep?

Unless you consider yourself a creep

... Seems like that some weird fear you have.

 

anyway, find something to do, like go bowling or something, then ask her if she wants to go bowling

[Eighty_nine]

I understand your concern about her not answering your last message, but the FB status liking is a pretty positive sign, especially if more than one and if it's a new thing. Start another conversation and see if you can directly set up a date.

[Omei]

Why not skip the dance and just ask her out?

[johnpennington]

why would anyone consider you a creep?

Unless you consider yourself a creep

... Seems like that some weird fear you have.

 

anyway, find something to do, like go bowling or something, then ask her if she wants to go bowling

 

Thank you everybody for all your responses so far.

 

I was paranoid about coming off like a creep because this was a girl whom I went to school with back when we were like 7-10 years old. And now, all these years later, we're both in our 20s and I looked her up on facebook. I was just hoping she wouldn't find that too weird.

[Versacehottie]

your friends are right. just keep in touch with her. and now that you've planted the seed (which most everyone DOES take as just a saying) take it the step further and ask her to do something specific and try to set a time. When guys have said that to me, I typically am waiting for them to take the next step and say what and when if they really mean it. After all, it is their offer. I guess that sounds a bit old-skool but feel like many girls feel like i do. If she suggests date and activity well then it would seem like she was asking you out or too eager which smart girls don't want to seem. Also if you are not saying when and what, she may have her radar on for wishy-washy ness. After all, that's isn't true invite. smart girls also don't like to waste their time with guys who seem unsure. Sound sure (about her) by having a plan. I don't think you've done anything wrong yet, by the way. You just need to take the next step. Good luck

[lovexocoach]

Your "We should catch up sometime, don't be a stranger!" doesn't mean anything. In fact, it sounds like you want her to make the next move - that's your job, not hers.

 

You haven't done anything wrong. But the ball is in your court.

 

Contact her and ask her out.

 

Seems like there is enough there to see if things will develop into a relationship. Good luck.

[johnpennington]

thanks everybody. I was especially happy to hear responses from females so I can see how a female would feel in this situation.

[Redhead14]

I reconnected with this girl I went to elementary school with and I'd like to date her or at least reconnect and become friends again. We were friends a loooong time ago. We're both in our early 20s now. I added her on Facebook and we had a little over an hour long conversation from about 12:30 in the morning to about 2 in the morning. The conversation was running smooth and friendly. She asked me what I've been doing with myself etc.. Eventually I told her it was good talking to her and we should catch up sometime. I said it as a statement rather than as a question. Basically, I said "It was nice talkin to you. We should catch up sometime, dont be a stranger!" She read the message and never responded. I've asked my friends what I should do now and some told me that it's just the internet and you cant take a cue like that so meaningfully from the internet. Some have said, "Just because it says she read a Facebook message and didnt respond, doesn't mean she doesn't like you." They basically told me to keep talking to her.

 

So even though she didnt respond to when I said "We should catch up sometime, don't be a stranger!" she's liked my Facebook statuses somewhat frequently since then. Which makes me think, if she was creeped out that I asked her to hang out, why would she still associate herself with me? Why would she still be liking my facebook statuses? Maybe she wasnt creeped out or maybe she wasnt totally disinterested?

 

Should I start another conversation with her? What are your opinions? I can say personally that if there was a girl who I thought might be interested in me and I had no interest in her at all, I wouldnt associate with her at all. I wouldn't Like or Comment any of her statuses. The fact that she's liked some of my statuses makes me think that she's not "creeped" out by me. Again, what are your opinions? Should I have a normal conversation with her and after a few conversations, maybe ask for her number? Thanks.

 

 

Reach out one more time. Start a real conversation, and at some point, ask her for her number so that you can call and talk in person PERIOD. Get off the internet and have actual phone calls and don't get into the texting mill either.

[Mrin]

Your "We should catch up sometime, don't be a stranger!" doesn't mean anything. In fact, it sounds like you want her to make the next move - that's your job, not hers.

 

You haven't done anything wrong. But the ball is in your court.

 

Contact her and ask her out.

 

Seems like there is enough there to see if things will develop into a relationship. Good luck.

 

A thousand times this

[Methodical]

I agree with other poster's, you should make contact. Don't expect her to read your mind. Personally, I might have taken your comment as a nice dismissal, so she may be wondering what you're thinking or why after a long conversation you kind of blew her off. If she is somewhat shy, she definitely doesn't know how to take your comment.