about her feelings

[Gardener13]

So, I am 28 and started working with a 47 year old woman last year.

 

We instantly became friends and met up outside of work for coffee and whatever. I feel very close to her as we just "clicked" completely to coin a cliché.

 

We chat on text an awful lot and still see each other a lot.

 

One night while she was out and had a bit too much to drink she sent me several texts giving the impression she had developed feelings for me, other than friendship. She put it down to the drink, but I too have feelings for her. Age gap is not an issue for me, for whatever reason I just think about her all the time as well as finding her physically attractive.

 

Anyway we chatted openly about our feelings at one point and it appears both of us think about each other a lot and more than "friends" do. However due to circumstances of work and her being in a relationship we agreed we would not take things any further.

 

All the above is background. My main issue that I want advice on is this.

 

That was a month or so ago, since then we still meet up and chat. I just think all the signs point to us still being more than friends. I just am a bit confused. Let me know whether these could be friend things or whether we are deluding ourselves.

 

- We enjoy spending time together

- We laugh a lot about silly things and smile a lot.

- A lot of double entendres fly when we laugh and joke.

- When we talk we get very close to each other at times and are not really bothered about "personal space" issues

- We have a lot of "eye Contact" sometimes far longer than I do with anyone else.

- We often chat and have a lot of casual contact if you like. Nudging and hands on arms etc.

- We hug each time we meet. Sometimes not just a fleeting hug either.

- This all changes we her current partner is around. The whole attitude changes.

- Not sure whether this is because she is attracted to me, or whether she acts this way with other male friends.

 

Before everyone blasts me, I know she is in a relationship and that is why I am trying to decided if I am imagining things or whether its clear cut.

 

Its also not realistic to say don't see each other again as we are working together a lot, plus if nothing else I could not lose her as a friend.

 

Anyway I am sure its clear my head is muddled. Give me any thoughts you have. I don't really know what she feels for me. I mean I guess see is attracted to me, but to what extent is hard to see from internally.

[CarrieT]

Before everyone blasts me, I know she is in a relationship and that is why I am trying to decided if I am imagining things or whether its clear cut.

Whether or not you are imagining things is irrelevant. She is off-limits and getting involved would be stupid.

 

It is not clear cut whatsoever if she is attached. It means she is playing with you and may want you as an affair partner.

 

Run and run fast. You don't want that kind of drama.

[Ebelskiver]

It seems as if she has put up her "token resistance" by telling you she's in her relationship and agreeing that you both should cool it. In reality, how she acts around you when her bf isn't there shows that she is receptive to you making the first move. In this way she makes it less her fault if something does go down. After all she told you that you both should let it go. My ex used to play those games. Tell her you want her. But she has to dump her bf first.

[todreaminblue]

If she were single it would be different but she isnt single she is with someone else.....if she really had good intentions and cared about you at all she would not do the things she is doing...she isnt caring about anyone but herself...even then...she is on a short road to causing pain for herself and anyone involved with her...dont be on that road with her...let her go..she is not for you...unless you want to be her ego boost in progress.....deb