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Girlfriend of 5 years left me one week ago. [updates]


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  • Author
Posted
Hi Mr. Friend Zone! You're looking dapper today!

 

How can i be Friend zoned when we have not spoke in one month, and i blocked her from facebook? This sights for advice, No matter are stupid. Stop being an *******!

Posted

Why does it matter if she likes your stuff? At best she's hoping you give her attention and will start writing to her. Either way, NC NC NC.

Posted
How can i be Friend zoned when we have not spoke in one month, and i blocked her from facebook? This sights for advice, No matter are stupid. Stop being an *******!

 

 

 

Really dude? Her post are like, "Hey! No hard feelings, right bro?" I mean, come on dude!

 

 

What girl that apparently had a loving and caring relationship with you would LIKE posts about you LIKING another girl other than herself? Would you like posts about her liking some other dude? Would you press that like button? Doubt it. You'd be on here telling us that she's a cold hearted bitch.

 

 

So, why does she do it? BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T CARE!! She probably has someone new in her life and is happy to see that you like some other girl because she can ease the guilt she has about dating someone else! All would be right in her Universe then! She has someone new, you have prospects...all is well!

 

 

So, stop being blind!

  • Author
Posted
Really dude? Her post are like, "Hey! No hard feelings, right bro?" I mean, come on dude!

 

 

What girl that apparently had a loving and caring relationship with you would LIKE posts about you LIKING another girl other than herself? Would you like posts about her liking some other dude? Would you press that like button? Doubt it. You'd be on here telling us that she's a cold hearted bitch.

 

 

So, why does she do it? BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T CARE!! She probably has someone new in her life and is happy to see that you like some other girl because she can ease the guilt she has about dating someone else! All would be right in her Universe then! She has someone new, you have prospects...all is well!

 

 

So, stop being blind!

 

I understand where everyone is coming from, and i'm at a point in recovery where i know that, even though i love her and miss her, i can live without her.

 

But i dont think ( Maybe its just me ) That she would like them for that reason. Some other people say it's because she wants to get my attention, and others say its because she's jealous. Im not master in break ups, But if i was to have a tiny chance at reconciliation. What would be my best approach? Remain NC and hope one day she might contact me, Or try and contact her?

Posted
I understand where everyone is coming from, and i'm at a point in recovery where i know that, even though i love her and miss her, i can live without her.

 

But i dont think ( Maybe its just me ) That she would like them for that reason. Some other people say it's because she wants to get my attention, and others say its because she's jealous. Im not master in break ups, But if i was to have a tiny chance at reconciliation. What would be my best approach? Remain NC and hope one day she might contact me, Or try and contact her?

 

I probably am not going to give you the advice you hope to hear but I will let you know that I am 4 months NC and 5 months since the breakup. I had only LC during the first month in order to get some stuff back but there was no begging or pleading on my part when she asked for a break. I can honestly tell you from this experience when a woman wants a break she wants a break from you and the relationship. There is nothing you can do to convince her otherwise. As slim as a chance you may have for reconciliation, the only thing you can do to increase those odds, if it is even remotely possible, is to continue NC. If she wants to get a hold of her come hell or high water she will find a way.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted
I probably am not going to give you the advice you hope to hear but I will let you know that I am 4 months NC and 5 months since the breakup. I had only LC during the first month in order to get some stuff back but there was no begging or pleading on my part when she asked for a break. I can honestly tell you from this experience when a woman wants a break she wants a break from you and the relationship. There is nothing you can do to convince her otherwise. As slim as a chance you may have for reconciliation, the only thing you can do to increase those odds, if it is even remotely possible, is to continue NC. If she wants to get a hold of her come hell or high water she will find a way.

 

It's exactly what i want to hear, I'm at a crossroads right now as to how to handle the situation. Like i said i dont know whats the best possible route, and i guess noone does as every relationship/person is different. Just based on odds what is the best? Maintain No contact, or to try and persue reconciliation one last time.

 

Only having these feelings since shes giving out kind of mixed signals ( Kinda)

 

I know i can live without her, and in time be fine. But its just not what i want, I want to do somthing that, While bettering myself, Maybe helps me chances. Thanks for the reply

Posted

I second that. Dude, you got to start moving on with your life.

 

 

Here's the rub, she made a choice and that choice was to have you out of her life. So, you give her exactly that. You being gone. If you are seeing that she's liking posts on social media, then you are not in NC. She's getting glimpses into your life, and that's none of her business anymore. You need to BLOCK her. She doesn't get to dictate what kind of relationship she gets to have with you. She had it all and she decided to throw it all away. She either gets 100% of you or nothing at all.

 

 

And start moving on with your life. Get new hobbies, get new clothes. Go to the gym, make positive changes in your life. Travel. The key is to stay busy.

Posted
It's exactly what i want to hear, I'm at a crossroads right now as to how to handle the situation. Like i said i dont know whats the best possible route, and i guess noone does as every relationship/person is different. Just based on odds what is the best? Maintain No contact, or to try and persue reconciliation one last time.

 

Only having these feelings since shes giving out kind of mixed signals ( Kinda)

 

I know i can live without her, and in time be fine. But its just not what i want, I want to do somthing that, While bettering myself, Maybe helps me chances. Thanks for the reply

 

The only way you can better yourself is to do these things for YOU. Once you realise you are the only one that matters and you are bettering yourself for yourself that is usually when they notice and come sniffing around. Don't fall for the mixed signals, only engage her when she contacts you and says" I've made the biggest mistake in my life letting you leave and I want you back" anything short of this then ignore and continue on with your life.

  • Author
Posted
I second that. Dude, you got to start moving on with your life.

 

 

Here's the rub, she made a choice and that choice was to have you out of her life. So, you give her exactly that. You being gone. If you are seeing that she's liking posts on social media, then you are not in NC. She's getting glimpses into your life, and that's none of her business anymore. You need to BLOCK her. She doesn't get to dictate what kind of relationship she gets to have with you. She had it all and she decided to throw it all away. She either gets 100% of you or nothing at all.

 

 

And start moving on with your life. Get new hobbies, get new clothes. Go to the gym, make positive changes in your life. Travel. The key is to stay busy.

 

I have her blocked on facebook completely, It's just she can see pictures of me, or statuses about me from some of my friends she has on her FB. ( She doesn't even know them, just has them on facebook.

The only way i know that shes been liking everything about me is because my friends tell me " Why is she even liking them " Telling me she is.

 

It's like she knows that if she likes everything my mates will tell me she is. People in my family etc have told me she has some regrets, Be it about us or the break up i dont know, But some say she wouldn't get in contact me with because of how my family see her now, and what she put me through. She'll be to scared to try again maybe?

 

i'm not sure, But i'll stay no contact.

  • Author
Posted
The only way you can better yourself is to do these things for YOU. Once you realise you are the only one that matters and you are bettering yourself for yourself that is usually when they notice and come sniffing around. Don't fall for the mixed signals, only engage her when she contacts you and says" I've made the biggest mistake in my life letting you leave and I want you back" anything short of this then ignore and continue on with your life.

 

Thankyou for you're nice replys, and i hope everything works out you want in you're life :)

Posted

Stay NC. If she wants you back, she'll be in touch. I wouldn't put too much stock in her liking a few pictures on facebook. Maybe she feels guilty. Maybe she wants you back. Maybe she doesn't care at all and just liked the picture. You say that something inside won't allow you to let her go. Part of that is the love you feel for her. That will go away in time. Another part is hope, another regret. The love is the ONLY part you have no control over. Take reigns over the rest, and see what happens. Unless she comes back saying you're all she wants, you have no reason to communicate with her. Even then, there are no guarantees. That's why most people here will advise you to take care of yourself and quit worrying about being with her. You have no control over what she does. You can only help yourself. It's not that it's imposssible that you'll get back together, it's just that you'd do better not setting yourself up for something that may never happen.

Posted

Stop trying to read so much into some facebook likes.

  • Author
Posted

An update:

 

Recently shes been liking more stuff about me involving other girls.

Then facebook was deactivated and when i reactivated it my block list was taken off.

 

Shes been constantly liking comments people or me make about going out to partys or seeing other girls, And even when i talk to girls on statuses, She physhically likes all my comments about them!

 

She likes one after the other really fast somtimes.

 

I dont get why shes doing this? Could it be to get my attention to contact her as shes to scared?

Why is she getting jealous? thanks

Posted
As we was both in education.

 

BW, that cracks me up! :lmao::lmao:

 

Clearly, she's encouraging you so that you can move forward to the "let's be friends" phase of your relationship.

 

She's happy to see you with other girls... can you stand seeing her with other guys?

 

If so, seek her out. If not, stay away. It's that simple.

  • Like 1
  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

Hey guys, If you don't know my story here's the link -

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/511734-girlfriend-5-years-left-me-one-week-ago#post6116796

 

And here's the link to the 1 month update. -

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/515840-5-year-relationship-nc-1-month#post6162767

 

 

Just writing today to say that after 2 months of bottling thing's up and trying to avoid the initial blow of what actually happened to me, ( Going out all the time and keeping myself busy )

Sitting here tonight and "let her go" came on the radio, I sat and listened and instantly thought of my situation. Here's what i mean -

 

"" Person (in this case a guy) took his girlfriend/wife for granted.

 

After she is gone he can now appreciate what he ONCE had.

"Only know you love her when you let her go"

 

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

“You only need something when you’re running low of it”

 

You only miss the sun because the snow makes everything cold and dull

"Only miss the sun when it starts to snow"

 

You once had it all and after you don’t have anything you can then see what was one there

"Only know you've been high when you're feeling low"

 

Generally, most people enjoy travelling or driving around but once you’re sick of it or start hating it, one obviously starts missing home.

"Only hate the road when you're missing home" ""

 

Song lyrics explaining my situation to a T.

 

I feel somewhat relieved after crying, it's calming...

  • Like 1
Posted

i like it brother, kind of hit home for me too!

 

crying helps sometimes, part that sucks is when you feel like crying but your body wont allow it. so youre stuck in that sad state where as if you can let that cry out, it hurts while crying but usually after, you pick yourself up and feel a bit relieved. stay strong man

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted (edited)

So if you read the story and the updates in the comment section you'll pretty much be up to date.

 

i got messaged by her two days ago saying

 

" Hey... :) - So found yourself a new woman ? x "

 

5 minute's later she put.

 

" One less annoying probably lol :/ "

 

Message was probably brought up from her by seeing another girl flirting with me before going out!

 

I didn't reply to her and continued to go out that night as i planned to go out with a girl and some friends. Like i stated in other updates she started liking things about me and lots of comments about me and other girls.

 

The next afternoon she messaged me again saying.

 

" Did you hack my email? you're the only one that knows my pass "

So basicly telling me since she messaged me last night i "hacked" her email... Which is a blatent excuse to contact me again and get me to reply!

 

I've learn't alot from reading through LS, I'm not falling for the same mistake other people make all the time which is, replying to her, or giving a reaction!

I will not reply until she says " I made a massive mistake " (if that ever happens, not counting on it)

 

Any thoughts or opinion's? Stay strong guys! *Nearly 3 month's NC from the first day she left me!*

Edited by BrandonWard
Posted

Block her number and delete her from Facebook.

 

And you get to avoid all of these scenarios.

  • Like 1
Posted

Drop the facebook man, your constant posting about other girls and you consequently ignoring her contact is gonna be super transparent. I'm not saying deactivate facebook but if you want maximum healing and the best chance of her coming back I would just be disappearing. Keep her guessing about what you're doing, don't blast it all over facebook, it's super unattractive for both guys and girls. If you wanna talk to people on facebook just message them, keep the public stuff to a minimum. The people i'm most interested in are the ones who don't blast their dating status all over fb, the ones who just don't post anything really.

 

Keep up the NC - good work on that - but if you wanna go one step further (in both healing - you won't have to see confusing activity from her on your statuses - and getting her back - your apparent inactivity will make her think) I would revise your facebook game.

 

Good luck man, whatever comes from this, with NC, you're on the best path possible

  • Author
Posted

I have blocked her phone number, and I don't have her on Facebook! She checks mine or looks through mutual friends, and I don't flirt all over Facebook, I meant in general stuff like when I'm tagged in a night out status or somthing like that... I haven't checked anything about her in 3 months, don't plan to ever either. My no contact has been 100%.

Wanted ideas of what it could of meant or what she may be thinking, not about what I'm doing. I'm doing 100% no contact, what she does is her own initiative.

But thanks for the replys.

Posted

No, you need to BLOCK HER on Facebook. BLOCK all mutual friends who won't block her as well.

 

Problem solved. ;)

 

You want analysis of what she's doing and what it means? Here's your analysis:

 

UNLESS AND UNTIL she contacts you directly and asks for another chance.... she's not into you.

 

She'd like to have you as a FRIEND because it strokes her ego to be buddies with someone who's into her that she rejected. She enjoys having you around because it's flattering.

 

She's not in love with you. She's not up nights regretting her decision to break up with you.

 

And, given that, why would you want to be in contact with her?

  • Author
Posted

Surely blocking after 3 months is just immature? Like I said I'm 100% no contact already. Just seems childish to me! But thanks for your opinion :)

And I never said I wanted to be in contact, I never replied to the messages, and never will.

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