Must stop thinking about him

[madness2015]

Met this guy online. Instant chemistry. Talked texted, saw each other for about 2 weeks. He asked for us to be exclusive and that he wanted a relationship with me. I agreed. Everything was wonderful. My biggest fear was having sex with him and him leaving me. Had sex 2 weeks in, it was amazing. That night all was normal we made plans to see each other the next day after work. The next day, the texts seemed less and not as sweet. He texted he was out of work, he works night shift and gets out hours before me. He usually goes home or the gym. I assumed I'd hear from him before we were to meet up. He has never stood me up before. I left work and texted him. No answer. I called no answer. I waited. Texted him again. Called him again. Nothing. At this point, I started to freak out... cause since sex yesterday, things seemed off. So I went overboard woith excessive texts and calls. He finally called me about 2 hours later saying he was asleep, Just woke up and couldn't make it. I drove by his house and he was not home. I let him know this. He got really upset with me and said he couldn't see me now But he could come by my place later. I said ok. He never did.

The next day, he met up with me after work and we kissed, things seemed fine and he said he forgave me for the texts and that we were good. I believed him.

The next day he tells me he's 50/50 undecided on whether he can continue pursuing a relationship with me. That we could remain friends, etc... I tried to convince him to give us another.chance. He said ok. But things were never the same as before. We went no contact for 7 days. I texted him that I missed him. He texted back he missed me too and if we could be intimate. I was happy to hear from him, but not happy that he only asked for sex. I agreed, thinking we could get back to where we were.

The next day we met up and we were like before, except I told him I didnt want to have sex if we weren't working towards a relationship. He said ok. We didn't do it and he said we could work at it. During the week, we talked, texted and made plans for Friday night. I wanted one more time/try to see. So we had an amazing night, the best we've had. He slept over. Said he wanted to see me again really soon that we were definitely closer now. He asked to see me twice that week, But only for sex. I declined both times. Thursday, I asked him to please call me and I told him how I was feeling. He said he couldn't date right now, that our work schedules were too different. He was focusing on work... I was heartbroken. He said I have all the qualities... etc. So, we ended things.

I feel so rejected and used. I thought he and I had something real. I was so vulnerable with him. I'm a single mom and I need to keep it together. I haven't contacted him, nor will I ever again. But I miss how I felt with him so much... today is my 4th day of no vontact i cant stop thinking about him. Help!??

Edited January 19, 2015 by madness2015