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Ex of my longest relationship ever contacted me after 1y and a half

Kermit007

By Kermit007
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Kermit007 Member

Kermit007

Posted
Posted

Ok guys here is the deal.

 

About 5 years ago I met this drop dead gorgeous girl. I mean she was an absolute 10. Total bombshell. She and I met at a club were a friend of mine introduced us. We started dating and eventually she became my girlfriend.

 

After 1.5 years she moved in with me and everything was going great. We even started building a house together and has big future plans. Around the 3 year mark however everything started to change, she got more distant...At that time we didnt go out a lot anymore and everything got well kinda boring between us. There was also the stress of building a house, this also put pressure on our relationship.

 

Eventually she really got cold on me, angry for the tiniest things, and eventually the words came "I just dont feel it anymore" Long story short we broke up, had to arrange everything for the house (which I eventually bought). In the end this girl could literally drink my blood and I was also very angry with her for dumping me and blowing up all our future plan. I was absolutely crushed, like a trainwreck. It was like this girl ran over me, backed up, and ran over me again.

 

This even hurt more, when I saw she was going out every weekend and having the time of her life. After all the paperwork was done and we split up I didnt contact her at all...She was gone out of my life and I never looked back.

 

In the 1.5 years that we have split up, I have seen her about 2-3 times, never talked to her and ignored her completely when I saw her. She did the same to me.

 

Last week however, she texted me for the first time in 1.5 years. "Hey, I know we don't see or hear each other anymore. I hope you are doing OK, I still wanted to wish you all the best for 2015. I hope you get everything what you want, you deserve it. Greets"

 

I was absolutely shocked by this text.

Since I didnt have her number anymore I texted "Sorry dont have your number (anymore). Who is this ?

 

She replied with her name and said I was right to delete her number.

Since I have no more feeling for her I texted her back. "Wish the best for you as well in 2015, hope you are also doing OK"

 

About 5 minutes later she texted me again "Yes I'm doing great as well! :-)"

 

That was 4 days ago.

 

I do have to say, it was a huge ego boost getting that text, means she still thinks about me. Nevertheless.....WOMEN ARE CRAZY :D Why the hell do they text **** like that ?!

  • Like 3
PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted

For attention and for the peace of mind that you're not mad at them for treating you like crap.

  • Like 3
bigtrouble Established Member

bigtrouble

Posted
Posted

She just couldn't resist contacting you...

She even kept your number...

 

Yeah, women are crazy funny, they do things when we least expect it.

 

Happy for you...

  • Like 2
umirano Established Member

umirano

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Posted

LOL, this story evokes all kinds of feelings in me. Ranging from disgust to amusement to pity.

 

Thanks for sharing :)

Marco Valerio Established Member

Marco Valerio

Posted
Posted

I'm sure she still thinks about you from time to time. Don't give it more time that it deserves. Continue with your life.

gnick Established Member

gnick

Posted
Posted

As usual when you're completely over them they come back

  • Like 1
me85 Established Member

me85

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Posted

Oh please, guys do this too. Be fair. Men can be just as crazy (if not crazier.)

 

Who knows. Who cares. Leave it be since you no longer have romantic feelings for her (which I call BS on that - but that's just me.)

  • Like 3
Seeker12 Established Member

Seeker12

Posted
Posted

OP does have something there, i can smell it from a mile away, not meaning to be offensive. Men, well can be very crazy, i mean ape crazy...

EgoJoe Established Member

EgoJoe

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Posted

Nostalgia is a powerful compulsion. Too many possibilities to decipher intent. If she contacts again. Ask her what gives. Keep moving forward.

organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

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Posted
As usual when you're completely over them they come back

 

She didn't come back. That text meant nothing.

  • Like 3
kenmore Established Member

kenmore

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Posted

If it meant nothing, then there would be no point in doing it. It must have meant something for her to do it.

 

Nostalgia is a powerful compulsion. Too many possibilities to decipher intent. If she contacts again. Ask her what gives. Keep moving forward.

 

Very true words. Nostalgia is what's killing me. I still have connections to things: The house I lived in with both of my wives is owned by my family. I'm the property manager and had to go there today to work on it. Many memories...

 

So many little things, and I even invent some. There is a road I go down to work every day now. I was on that road ONE TIME with my wife, but somehow every day, I think of her because of that. The weird thing is that I went down that road at least 150 times before I met her and at least 20 times since. WTF?

 

Still considering that lobotomy.

  • 2 weeks later...
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Kermit007 Member

Kermit007

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Well guys, yesterday was my birthday and she texted me again wishing me a happy birthday. I replied and we texted back and forth for about a half an hour. The last thing I texted was wishing her a good day. Since it was snowing and she stayed indoors I also said she should keep warm. I didn't get a reply untill 10o'clock at night. She texted me saying she had kept warm all day and thanked me for the advice.

 

I didnt reply to that anymore... My god...women are confusing :o:o

  • Like 1
elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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Posted

As the dumper, she is playing the "we can still be friends" card.

She probably just feels a bit guilty about the break and wants to keep you onside, no-one wants to think they have an enemy out there.

She may be between bfs and wants a chat, a catch up and some company too, BUT I very much doubt she wants to see you again romantically.

She may in fact be building up to tell you she is engaged or even married, so do not build up any hopes, until you have something more concrete to go on.

Diezel Established Member

Diezel

Posted
Posted

Stop texting her. She just wants attention and is stringing you along (in her mind). Just stop.

  • Like 1
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Kermit007 Member

Kermit007

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Stop texting her. She just wants attention and is stringing you along (in her mind). Just stop.

 

To me it doesn't feel like she is stringing me along. I am over her, I just reply back but no more love feelings from my side. Also having difficulties to believe she is texting me because she doesn't want an enemy. I mean we haven't talked to eachother in such a long time. I have moved on. And honestly, she was completely out of my mind and out of my heart. When i get a text from her...its not the my heart starts racing, its more the "wtf-feeling" I mean...when its her birthday...i wont send her a text, cause i dont have the urge

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted
To me it doesn't feel like she is stringing me along. I am over her, I just reply back but no more love feelings from my side. Also having difficulties to believe she is texting me because she doesn't want an enemy. I mean we haven't talked to eachother in such a long time. I have moved on. And honestly, she was completely out of my mind and out of my heart. When i get a text from her...its not the my heart starts racing, its more the "wtf-feeling" I mean...when its her birthday...i wont send her a text, cause i dont have the urge

 

You still posted on LS about it though. ;)

  • Like 1
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Kermit007 Member

Kermit007

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You still posted on LS about it though. ;)

 

Yeah sure...but that doesnt mean I still have feelings like that for her. Just wanting to say..that..well I'm different. Once I have broken up with someone, for me that means I'll never contact them again. Why ? Because if I have dumped them, I have no more interest in there lives. And if I'm dumped I wont chase. For me I dont know why the hell she texts me. Seems to me that, after a year and a half, it also doesn't make sense to contact the old ex again. I would care less

myheartaches Member

myheartaches

Posted
Posted

I honestly can't think that text meant nothing. There must BE a reason. Perhaps she is between relationships, and just needs a chat. Please keep us updated because well it sounds like an interesting situation! ??

Jimmyjackson Established Member

Jimmyjackson

Posted
Posted

My honest opinion is that if this ex meant nothing to you, then you shouldn't need to post a thread about it. If you are over it, you should be able to reply and then go on with the rest of your day and not think about it again. You probably are over it for the most part, but the fact you're asking advice on here proves to me that you're thinking too much into the contact, which doesn't show you're 100% over her.

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Kermit007 Member

Kermit007

Posted
  • Author
Posted
My honest opinion is that if this ex meant nothing to you, then you shouldn't need to post a thread about it. If you are over it, you should be able to reply and then go on with the rest of your day and not think about it again. You probably are over it for the most part, but the fact you're asking advice on here proves to me that you're thinking too much into the contact, which doesn't show you're 100% over her.

 

Well I can tell you I am 100% over her. But that doesnt mean when she texts me I am not curious about what the reason is. I think its a natural reaction on my part. The reason why I am posting this is just to show people that exes can contact you again after a long period of NC. I am not thinking about this 24/7 but it has got my attention I give you that. Not because I want to get back together, but because I wonder how this situation will evolve and what her next actions will be and why she will do them. Nothing more, nothing less

Standard-Fare Established Member

Standard-Fare

Posted
Posted

If you truly have no interest in her life (as you say), then you shouldn't be engaging in these text conversations with her.

 

The original text exchange, wishing each other well for the new year, seems like a nice gesture between two exes. You don't hate each other, and you wish each other well. That's great. But beyond that there doesn't need to be any more conversation or more engagement in each other's lives.

Jimmyjackson Established Member

Jimmyjackson

Posted
Posted
Well I can tell you I am 100% over her. But that doesnt mean when she texts me I am not curious about what the reason is. I think its a natural reaction on my part. The reason why I am posting this is just to show people that exes can contact you again after a long period of NC. I am not thinking about this 24/7 but it has got my attention I give you that. Not because I want to get back together, but because I wonder how this situation will evolve and what her next actions will be and why she will do them. Nothing more, nothing less

 

Read that last sentence again haha. If you're over her then you don't care how this situation might evolve, her actions don't interest you.

 

You're basically saying you're over her but you want to see how it pans out. If you're over someone you don't care how it pans out as you washed your hands with them.

marcelo.santos Established Member

marcelo.santos

Posted
Posted

She just want to be friends.

 

I have some ex like that: She don't feel nothing for you and is just curious.

 

If you have no bad fillings for her you can try to be a distant friend of her.

 

But looks like there is some angry from you part, so in this case I would ignore her and keep moving on.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted

I don't think you are as over this as you say you are. Little too much thinking and analyzing going on.

  • Like 3
Kinetica84 Established Member

Kinetica84

Posted
Posted
Ok guys here is the deal.

 

About 5 years ago I met this drop dead gorgeous girl. I mean she was an absolute 10. Total bombshell. She and I met at a club were a friend of mine introduced us. We started dating and eventually she became my girlfriend.

 

After 1.5 years she moved in with me and everything was going great. We even started building a house together and has big future plans. Around the 3 year mark however everything started to change, she got more distant...At that time we didnt go out a lot anymore and everything got well kinda boring between us. There was also the stress of building a house, this also put pressure on our relationship.

 

Eventually she really got cold on me, angry for the tiniest things, and eventually the words came "I just dont feel it anymore" Long story short we broke up, had to arrange everything for the house (which I eventually bought). In the end this girl could literally drink my blood and I was also very angry with her for dumping me and blowing up all our future plan. I was absolutely crushed, like a trainwreck. It was like this girl ran over me, backed up, and ran over me again.

 

This even hurt more, when I saw she was going out every weekend and having the time of her life. After all the paperwork was done and we split up I didnt contact her at all...She was gone out of my life and I never looked back.

 

In the 1.5 years that we have split up, I have seen her about 2-3 times, never talked to her and ignored her completely when I saw her. She did the same to me.

 

Last week however, she texted me for the first time in 1.5 years. "Hey, I know we don't see or hear each other anymore. I hope you are doing OK, I still wanted to wish you all the best for 2015. I hope you get everything what you want, you deserve it. Greets"

 

I was absolutely shocked by this text.

Since I didnt have her number anymore I texted "Sorry dont have your number (anymore). Who is this ?

 

She replied with her name and said I was right to delete her number.

Since I have no more feeling for her I texted her back. "Wish the best for you as well in 2015, hope you are also doing OK"

 

About 5 minutes later she texted me again "Yes I'm doing great as well! :-)"

 

That was 4 days ago.

 

I do have to say, it was a huge ego boost getting that text, means she still thinks about me. Nevertheless.....WOMEN ARE CRAZY :D Why the hell do they text **** like that ?!

 

Dick in a glass mate. Break glass in case of emergency lol.

 

That is what I call a probing text. Sometimes I will cut them off sometimes I will indulge them.

 

Since I split with my cheat ex in October, 2 ex girlfriends have contacted me. One from from 4 years ago and one from 10 years ago. I guess I just left that kind of impression on them lolol

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