David87 Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Ok so my girlfriend dumped me yesterday because she saw on my fb that I searched my ex gf and because I send a happy birthday text to a girl that I used to date before her. Now its over and all she says is that I messed up her life, that im a liar and she will fail her exams because of me. We dated for 9 months, she says im not over my ex which is not true but she doesn't believe me... Anyway thought I share with you nice people:)
Haydn Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Sorry to hear this news David. But maybe it`s early days? It could be fixed. She obviously has a lot of passion for you given the strong words she used about messing up her life. Is there a way you could both talk in calm setting? She obviously feels you have some connection to your ex and this needs to be solved. I`m not going to tell you all the obvious things because you have been here long enough to know. Maybe let her calm down and reach out? Keep going friend. 2
Author David87 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 She doesnt believe a word I say, she told me that she's fed up to be in second place......she was not. Will see..she doesnt want to talk now.
Light Breeze Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Has this happened before or it was the first time she saw you sending your ex a message? I agree with Haydn, maybe it can be fixed.. Sorry, brother.. 1
Author David87 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 I only searched my ex on fb, the happy birthday text was send to another girl.
martaldn Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 sounds she is very insecure and the obsession over your ex is not healthy. She doesnt need to check your phone or facebook if she trust you. And if she doesnt, but you havent done anything wrong, then she needs to get a grip because you dont have blame here to take. let things to calm down a bit and then try to talk to her but you need to make clear that she is the one that needs to get over your ex not you. 3
Chi townD Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Well, she sounds insecure which makes me believe that she got burned in past relationships. But, on the flip side, you shouldn't need to be looking up girls on facebook. I think you would have had better results if you included her or made her aware of your intention of sending a birthday text to a girl, "Hey, you remember Emily? Today is her birthday. I was thinking of sending her a birthday text. Do you think that would be alright or would it send the wrong message?" Or something like that. You would have included her in the decision making process. 2
writergal Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Well, she sounds insecure which makes me believe that she got burned in past relationships. But, on the flip side, you shouldn't need to be looking up girls on facebook. I think you would have had better results if you included her or made her aware of your intention of sending a birthday text to a girl, "Hey, you remember Emily? Today is her birthday. I was thinking of sending her a birthday text. Do you think that would be alright or would it send the wrong message?" Or something like that. You would have included her in the decision making process. +1 Agree that your actions probably looked suspicious to her, since you went behind her back. The more upfront and honest you are, the less likely these situations will happen to you with girlfriends. I don't blame her for how she feels. I disagree that it's because she's insecure. It's because of your secrecy that this happened. Had you included your girlfriend in your female Facebook activity, she would trust you more. And searching for your exes online when you're in a relationship is just asking for trouble. You need to earn her trust better. Start by deleting your exes from your Facebook, and stop any online flirting. Granted, wishing someone a happy birthday isn't exactly flirting, but it depends on what you wrote exactly. She didn't do anything wrong. I see where she's coming from completely. 1
erklat Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 I was caught red-handed three years ago over the same thing. Let her calm down and in a week or so see how you stand. Any communication with women she thinks of as competition is asking for trouble. I'm going through similar also.
Paterlany Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 sounds she is very insecure and the obsession over your ex is not healthy. She doesnt need to check your phone or facebook if she trust you. And if she doesnt, but you havent done anything wrong, then she needs to get a grip because you dont have blame here to take. Let things to calm down a bit and then try to talk to her but you need to make clear that she is the one that needs to get over your ex not you. 100% .......... 2
Kinetica84 Posted January 21, 2015 Posted January 21, 2015 Hardly ground for a break up. I think she is attention seeking buddy and is a drama queen based on what you said. 3
Haydn Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Hope you're ok mate. You know where to reach me. Take care. 1
martaldn Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 +1 Agree that your actions probably looked suspicious to her, since you went behind her back. The more upfront and honest you are, the less likely these situations will happen to you with girlfriends. I don't blame her for how she feels. I disagree that it's because she's insecure. It's because of your secrecy that this happened. Had you included your girlfriend in your female Facebook activity, she would trust you more. And searching for your exes online when you're in a relationship is just asking for trouble. You need to earn her trust better. Start by deleting your exes from your Facebook, and stop any online flirting. Granted, wishing someone a happy birthday isn't exactly flirting, but it depends on what you wrote exactly. She didn't do anything wrong. I see where she's coming from completely. what actions? only because he looked ONE time at his ex GF facebook page and sent a message of happy birthday to another girl? wow does he have to ask her permission to go to the toilet as well? he doesnt need to earn anything from her. she needs to grow up and work on her self confidence. 4
Author David87 Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 You are right Marta. Bottom line, she is to young for me and she needs to grow up a bit. Facebook and phones, emails etc are personal things...... 2
Author David87 Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 +1 Agree that your actions probably looked suspicious to her, since you went behind her back. The more upfront and honest you are, the less likely these situations will happen to you with girlfriends. I don't blame her for how she feels. I disagree that it's because she's insecure. It's because of your secrecy that this happened. Had you included your girlfriend in your female Facebook activity, she would trust you more. And searching for your exes online when you're in a relationship is just asking for trouble. You need to earn her trust better. Start by deleting your exes from your Facebook, and stop any online flirting. Granted, wishing someone a happy birthday isn't exactly flirting, but it depends on what you wrote exactly. She didn't do anything wrong. I see where she's coming from completely. First of all, I dont have ex gfs on my fb, my last one doesn't even have a fb page anymore.I dont flirt with girls, and I dont check on ex gfs...i'm not a stalker, I dont even know why I searched her.....but i'm sure i didn't do it because i want her back....im so over her.... 2
Author David87 Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 I was caught red-handed three years ago over the same thing. Let her calm down and in a week or so see how you stand. Any communication with women she thinks of as competition is asking for trouble. I'm going through similar also. I dont talk about my ex, never did, but she does, every single time she compares her to my ex and she says that my ex was so much better than her....which is not true. 1
martaldn Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 U sholdnt feel you have to justify your action because honestly here you havent done nothing wrong. did she come back to you yet? 2
Author David87 Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 Yes, we talk, I guess Its not a BU after all, but she is still upset about the whole situation. 2
writergal Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Isn't this the same girlfriend you posted about before, who you admitted that you weren't in love with because you were still hung up on your ex? Well, are you over your ex now at least?
Author David87 Posted January 22, 2015 Author Posted January 22, 2015 Yes, I'm over my ex. It has nothing to do with this situation. 1
Haydn Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Glad to hear you are talking. Like Marta said you don`t need permission to go to the toilet. People who stalk social media do tend to have some trust issues. As we know. But so happy mate you can kind of begin again. I do hope it works out, you have always been a straight up bloke. 2
writergal Posted January 22, 2015 Posted January 22, 2015 Glad to hear you are talking. Like Marta said you don`t need permission to go to the toilet. People who stalk social media do tend to have some trust issues. As we know. But so happy mate you can kind of begin again. I do hope it works out, you have always been a straight up bloke. Do you mean like having two friends, friend request the person on Facebook, so they can spy on the person for you? That happened to me, and the guy who orchestrated it denied it to me when I asked him why he did that, as did his two cronies. But that's people for you. David87: Glad you are over your ex and that things are back on track for you and your current girlfriend. Just be honest with her about your communication with your exes and female friends, out of respect for your girlfriend and then she won't doubt your commitment to her anymore. 1
Author David87 Posted January 23, 2015 Author Posted January 23, 2015 Thanks for the support guys, it means a lot. 1
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