Acera Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 (edited) My ex boyfriend and I broke up four and a half months ago. We began dating junior year of high school after he asked me to prom. He was my best friend and we did everything together. When it came time to apply for colleges, he was set on going to a different college than me but at the last minute, decided to go to the same college as me because he wanted to be with me. Our relationship was fine until January of our freshmen year of college. We had talked about our future and marriage and kids for some time before that but he joined a fraternity and began to question our relationship, saying that he had doubts about us being together for the rest of our lives. I didn't know how to handle the situation so I told him to go make out with another girl because he hadn't been with anyone else and I just figured that if he had a chance to see what else was out there, that he would see that he truly wanted to be with me. That night, he went and messed around with another girl and I was hurt. I hadn't thought that it would bother me as badly as it did. We got into a huge fight and I ended up going to a party that weekend and dancing with multiple guys and making out with one guy. After that, my ex and I worked through the problems although it was very difficult because I kept blaming him for messing around with another girl (I know it was completely unfair). This continued until May. He still hadn't gotten his drivers license and he had scheduled to go take his driver's test in a different town and stay with one of his friend's who was a girl who had a huge crush on him. We broke up a few days before he went to take the test and after he got back from the weekend and getting his license, he told me that he had gotten drunk and messed around with the other girl. I was heartbroken and so angry and hurt. He worked at a camp over the summer but we continued to see each other at least once a week and it seemed that things were going to get better. At the end of the summer, I was worried because he didn't seem like he would have enough time for me because he was still in the fraternity and he was going to be an RA on top of multiple other clubs. We met up and I told him that we should take a break. He cried and told me he would fight for me but I walked away. A week later, I regretted my decision and called him, saying that I thought we could make things work. He said he was already seeing other people. I was devastated. I continued to bug him and ask him to get back together because he was my best friend and I loved him so much. Two months after we had broken up, he told me that he didn't love me and that he hadn't loved me the last month that we were in a relationship. He said his feelings had changed and that he wasn't "drawn to me" anymore. It was very difficult because I continued to see him around school with the girls that he was messing around with. I constantly compared myself to them and didn't understand what they had that I didn't. After three and a half months, I finally began no contact. It has now been a month since I last spoke to him or saw him (because we were on winter break) and I am still heartbroken. It feels like the pain is never going to go away. I am seeing a therapist and running and doing all sorts of activities to keep myself busy but I continue to think about him and wish that he would come back to me. I keep comparing myself to him and wondering how he could have moved on when I am so hung up on him and wondering why I wasn't able to move on like he had. How do I move forward? Edited January 19, 2015 by Acera change the title
smellysocksuni Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 In break ups, there is always one who feels it more than the other. I myself have been the dumpee more times than I care to remember - the only thing you can do is carry on with the running and the other things you're doing, and in time it WILL start to hurt less. I know that isn't really an answer, you probably want a quick fix but unfortunately, time is your best friend right now.
The Poster Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 No paragraphs; dr. My ex boyfriend and I broke up four and a half months ago. We began dating junior year of high school after he asked me to prom. He was my best friend and we did everything together. When it came time to apply for colleges, he was set on going to a different college than me but at the last minute, decided to go to the same college as me because he wanted to be with me. Our relationship was fine until January of our freshmen year of college. We had talked about our future and marriage and kids for some time before that but he joined a fraternity and began to question our relationship, saying that he had doubts about us being together for the rest of our lives. I didn't know how to handle the situation so I told him to go make out with another girl because he hadn't been with anyone else and I just figured that if he had a chance to see what else was out there, that he would see that he truly wanted to be with me. That night, he went and messed around with another girl and I was hurt. I hadn't thought that it would bother me as badly as it did. We got into a huge fight and I ended up going to a party that weekend and dancing with multiple guys and making out with one guy. After that, my ex and I worked through the problems although it was very difficult because I kept blaming him for messing around with another girl (I know it was completely unfair). This continued until May. He still hadn't gotten his drivers license and he had scheduled to go take his driver's test in a different town and stay with one of his friend's who was a girl who had a huge crush on him. We broke up a few days before he went to take the test and after he got back from the weekend and getting his license, he told me that he had gotten drunk and messed around with the other girl. I was heartbroken and so angry and hurt. He worked at a camp over the summer but we continued to see each other at least once a week and it seemed that things were going to get better. At the end of the summer, I was worried because he didn't seem like he would have enough time for me because he was still in the fraternity and he was going to be an RA on top of multiple other clubs. We met up and I told him that we should take a break. He cried and told me he would fight for me but I walked away. A week later, I regretted my decision and called him, saying that I thought we could make things work. He said he was already seeing other people. I was devastated. I continued to bug him and ask him to get back together because he was my best friend and I loved him so much. Two months after we had broken up, he told me that he didn't love me and that he hadn't loved me the last month that we were in a relationship. He said his feelings had changed and that he wasn't "drawn to me" anymore. It was very difficult because I continued to see him around school with the girls that he was messing around with. I constantly compared myself to them and didn't understand what they had that I didn't. After three and a half months, I finally began no contact. It has now been a month since I last spoke to him or saw him (because we were on winter break) and I am still heartbroken. It feels like the pain is never going to go away. I am seeing a therapist and running and doing all sorts of activities to keep myself busy but I continue to think about him and wish that he would come back to me. I keep comparing myself to him and wondering how he could have moved on when I am so hung up on him and wondering why I wasn't able to move on like he had. How do I move forward? 1
bigtrouble Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 I keep comparing myself to him and wondering how he could have moved on when I am so hung up on him and wondering why I wasn't able to move on like he had. How do I move forward? It has been a roller coaster ride, for your emotions being in that relationship, you did break up a couple of times and put in all to make it work but sadly still ended. He was able to move on faster because he was emotionally checked out, he did mention it. He saw the world had a lot to offer him, he got busy and he meets lots of people. You on the other hand is emotionally invested, in the relationship. You are sad and hurt and still missing him. Best to go no contact its been months since BU, keep yourself busy, the hurt and pain will not go away unless you let go. Yes we never forget the first time we fall in love and with who that is true, but sooner or later they only become wonderful memories.
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