krista28 Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 So I dated this one guy for a couple of years. Things were wonderful, he bought me roses, left them on my car when I was at work, wrote me love letters, took me out for fancy dinners. He treated me like gold... then things started to slowly change... he started being not so nice to me, taking me for granted, ignoring me and playing world of warcraft... just being a horrible boyfriend. Eventually I left him and it broke my heart more than his, but I knew that he was abusive and I had to leave, no matter how much I loved him. He started even trying to take money from me to support him. so..anyways... since we brokeup I was very messed up about it for about a year...even now it still gets to me..,it was true love. so HE gets a new girlfriend, and HE moves away to be with her and he is happy and will probably be getting married soon. I have not met anyone that even resembles anyone I could love since him. I have dated guys some of which were losers, jerks, cheaters, the list goes on. anyhow, nothing really even close to a serious relationship. I ran into someone that is a mutual friend the othe day, well more his moms friend and it was seriously akward. after he met her he blocked me on facebook and wouldnt talk to me at all anymore. like total cutoff. still wont talk to me to this day and I was just trying to be friendly. sometimes I just dont understand life. Nobody expected that to happen.. 1
unagedtiger Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 He did you a favor by kicking what is good for him. You'll meet someone better really soon. So I dated this one guy for a couple of years. Things were wonderful, he bought me roses, left them on my car when I was at work, wrote me love letters, took me out for fancy dinners. He treated me like gold... then things started to slowly change... he started being not so nice to me, taking me for granted, ignoring me and playing world of warcraft... just being a horrible boyfriend. Eventually I left him and it broke my heart more than his, but I knew that he was abusive and I had to leave, no matter how much I loved him. He started even trying to take money from me to support him. so..anyways... since we brokeup I was very messed up about it for about a year...even now it still gets to me..,it was true love. so HE gets a new girlfriend, and HE moves away to be with her and he is happy and will probably be getting married soon. I have not met anyone that even resembles anyone I could love since him. I have dated guys some of which were losers, jerks, cheaters, the list goes on. anyhow, nothing really even close to a serious relationship. I ran into someone that is a mutual friend the othe day, well more his moms friend and it was seriously akward. after he met her he blocked me on facebook and wouldnt talk to me at all anymore. like total cutoff. still wont talk to me to this day and I was just trying to be friendly. sometimes I just dont understand life. Nobody expected that to happen.. 2
Gaeta Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 he started being not so nice to me, taking me for granted, ignoring me and playing world of warcraft... just being a horrible boyfriend. I knew that he was abusive and I had to leave, no matter how much I loved him. He started even trying to take money from me to support him. He was a horrible boyfriend and an all around bad human being and he will be a mediocre husband and he'll make this poor woman very unhappy. Why would you want to be friends with such poor character? When you allow someone in your life, as boyfriend or as friends, they have to enhance your life. You just want to be FB friend with him because you cannot let go of 'the love' you think you had. Sweetie, that was not love. You need to let go of him and find someone that knows how to treat a gf right.
Author krista28 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 But thats the thing it was love and we were in love. ....more than you know. Before ge started going down hill all my friends were jealous of how happy I was and thought we were gonna be married. He did ask me before things got rough..... so theres no doubt that it was true love.....its just the way it ended was nt.
carhill Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 OP, sounds like you had some good times then things changed and, in total, you apparently were with this man for two years. Change doesn't always get this clear, but change is a part of life and this kind of change isn't uncommon, which is why relationships and marriages begin, end and transition to other relationships and marriages. People change. People's perception of people changes. People's perceptions of people's changes change. In my generation, there's an old saying that a woman always has the privilege of changing her mind. These days, expect that to be equal opportunity. 3
PegNosePete Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Who told you that this world was fair?? Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. That's just life...
preraph Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Oh, his new relationship isn't going to last, because he's a hot mess. Stop thinking about it. But it's true life isn't fair. But whoever moves on emotionally first wins.
lovexocoach Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Be thankful you didn't end up with him since he was abusive. Move on and find a quality man who treats you well ALL of the time.
toscaroscura Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 But it wasn't "true love". Abusive people often "love bomb" in the beginnings of relationships. That's how regular folk get sucked into the abuse; because the abuser wasn't always terrible. Over-the-top romance, saying and doing all the right things, seeming perfect for you etc: all are ways to hook you in. That way, when they start abusing you, you stay because you ache remembering all the "good times" and if you could just get back to the "good times", everything will be ok. Once you are hooked, the true nature starts showing. And believe me, that horrible abusive side IS his true nature. It was never the romantic, loving side. So now he is merely love-bombing another woman and once she is hooked, he will revert back to his abusive real self. Don't envy her. In the future, beware the man who seeks to sweep you off your feet and seems too good to be true. This might be why you are having trouble now, because he's tricked you into thinking real love should be like a movie. It's really not and I suspect you might be overlooking healthy, stable men because you're clinging to memories of your Ex's love-bombing. If you seek men who demonstrate that over-the-top romanticism, you may very well find yourself right back in another situation like this! 2
Author krista28 Posted January 25, 2015 Author Posted January 25, 2015 The worst part of it all is that they now love together. ....theyre planning on marriage.
StrongLass Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 The worst part of it all is that they now love together. ....theyre planning on marriage. DON'T fixate on how "wonderful" their relationship SEEMS to be (btw, how do you know that when he's blocked you online? STOP keeping yourself updated on that c*ap!) remember how things BECAME. THAT is the reality of how "wonderful" being with him was for you! LET GO. He made his choice. You're free. DON'T WORRY about how things will go for them-that's their problem.
PogoStick Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 Why isn't he allowed to find love and happiness? What, only if you do first? And you're supposed to be the good one? That sounds selfish and cruel to me.
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