Jake1234 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Hi i broke up with my gf about 3 weeks ago! we are in no contact but she said she wants me back when shes ready and this is 99% temporary. she then said shes so sorry that she had to but i text her to much (she has a point) and that even if we dont get back together which she promised then she still wants to be my friend in the future and keep in contact as soon as we are both ready! what do i do! Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Jake what are you doing? Are you hoping starting a new account and asking the same question will get you different answers? You will not find one person to tell you to stay friends and wait for her or even plan on being friends down the road. You have to be totally indifferent after years have gone by to maybe, maybe be friends with an ex. You are obsessed with this. Do what you need to do, but with your current thinking it appears that this is going to take you quite a while to work through. That's ok, but you need to change your mind set at some point here and focus on yourself and moving forward and finding someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Hi i broke up with my gf about 3 weeks ago! we are in no contact but she said she wants me back when shes ready and this is 99% temporary. she then said shes so sorry that she had to but i text her to much (she has a point) and that even if we dont get back together which she promised then she still wants to be my friend in the future and keep in contact as soon as we are both ready! what do i do! Its over. Accept it. Link to post Share on other sites
Appleness Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Hi Jake, It really depends. There's not a lot of information to go on (such as what happened besides the texting too much, etc.) First off, what makes you say that this is 99% temporary? Do you want to keep in contact with her? What are your gut feelings about whether things will work out for you and her this time around? I've definitely experienced the crazy rush of feelings that spiral through you after a breakup (this is multiplied hundred-fold if it was a very messy breakup). In general, if you want clarity on your situation, you have to fight your intuition on what to do. Of course, part of you is instantly going to eat to get back together because that will make the problem all better, right? Well, not necessarily. What happens is that what drove you apart in the first place is not resolved and ultimately, it will resurface at a later date (and be even messier this time). Only you can decide and control what to do next. If you aren't sure what you want, that's okay. It's normal. We all go through this and you're not alone. It's alright to take some time to think things through before you react. If you can do this while talking to her, fine. If not, tell her you need a little bit of time to think things through. In the meantime, truthfully ask yourself: 1) Do you want to be back together? 2) If you do get back together, what do you have to change to make things better? What will she have to change? (Sorry but I don't believe in only one-sided changes...) 3) If you don't get back together (either because you can't make the above changes or you just overall don't think it's a good idea to be with this person again), can you handle this person seeing you date someone else or can you handle seeing her with someone else? **If your answer here is "no", then you can't be friends. Hope this helps. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jake1234 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Share Posted January 19, 2015 Jake what are you doing? Are you hoping starting a new account and asking the same question will get you different answers? You will not find one person to tell you to stay friends and wait for her or even plan on being friends down the road. You have to be totally indifferent after years have gone by to maybe, maybe be friends with an ex. You are obsessed with this. Do what you need to do, but with your current thinking it appears that this is going to take you quite a while to work through. That's ok, but you need to change your mind set at some point here and focus on yourself and moving forward and finding someone else. i honestly have no idea what you are on about? i joined today to get help not be accused of things. im not sure what to do and if there are other people feeling the same then i cant be alone! Link to post Share on other sites
Ducktape Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 i honestly have no idea what you are on about? i joined today to get help not be accused of things. im not sure what to do and if there are other people feeling the same then i cant be alone! So you're saying all them Jacks out there starting threads asking if his girlfriend who said there's 99% chance they will be back together will come back are not the same as you? That's a pretty awesome coincidence don't you think! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/511514-recent-break-up http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/511516-ex-said-shes-99-sure-we-will-end-up-back-together http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/511508-recent-break-up And this one. All the same. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Aruchi Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Why would you want to be with someone who's only 99% sure..? It's all or nothing.She's using you as a backup that's why she just wants to be friends. Link to post Share on other sites
towardthefuture Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Homer? Who is this... Homer? Link to post Share on other sites
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