KindlyUnspoken23 Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 - we have had sleepovers since October. Started with one every couple of weeks, has started to become several a week – we have only had sex three times. after a huge fight and deciding to “take some space”, we haven’t had sex since – however, I usually give him oral when we’re together – occasionally, he will give me pleasure – His aunt makes us dinner whenever I’m over – We never hook up then I leave, he always wants me to sleep over – He texts me a lot and calls me at least twice a week – We both established that we do both have feelings for each other – He’s moving back in with his dad and is excited for me to meet him and his brother – Has had me over when he’s sick, and we have gone through times when we don’t do anything sexual These are just some of the bullet points of whatever this is. Back in November, he told me he thought we were more than FWB, but now that he’s getting some sort of sexual enjoyment whenever we’re together, I just start to wonder.
Aayla Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Hard to tell. Looks like it calls for an honest talk, as always... I'd say that you have something more, but are afraid to comunicate it. Maybe it would be best to just wait and see what happens? Or try to iniciate more non-sexual activities and see how he responds?
Carolinagrl Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 It's more than what I consider to be FWB. Seems like a healthy way of progressing to something more serious. I'm one to takey sweet time and not rush into relationship status. Would you go on dates with othee guys? Would you care if he was dating other girls?
Author KindlyUnspoken23 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 It's more than what I consider to be FWB. Seems like a healthy way of progressing to something more serious. I'm one to takey sweet time and not rush into relationship status. Would you go on dates with othee guys? Would you care if he was dating other girls? We have both stated in the past we wanted a rlshp with each other, but things kept getting in the way. The fight we had was a huge setback, so maybe we're just starting over, I don't know. He told me if another guy asks me out, I should go even though he'd be hurt but he doesn't want to hold me back from anything. The thing is, my heart is not into dating anyone else right now, it wouldn't be fair. I know he's not looking for anyone else, but I get a little nervous when I see girls flirting with him. I would be heartbroken if he went out with another girl.
Leigh 87 Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 We have both stated in the past we wanted a rlshp with each other, but things kept getting in the way. The fight we had was a huge setback, so maybe we're just starting over, I don't know. He told me if another guy asks me out, I should go even though he'd be hurt but he doesn't want to hold me back from anything. The thing is, my heart is not into dating anyone else right now, it wouldn't be fair. I know he's not looking for anyone else, but I get a little nervous when I see girls flirting with him. I would be heartbroken if he went out with another girl. If he said that - that you should go for another guy if they ask you out - a guy who was really into you wouldn't say that. Only a guy with a legit excuse as to why he cannot be in a relationship could possibly be being honest - it happened to me, the guy had severe and crippling depression and he was very much into me but had a legit excuse as to why he left me open for other dudes. Unless he has a genuine reason for not wanting you to be exclusive, he is just not that into you! Doesn't matter if you hang out, cuddle and all that jazz! Some guys really only want sex and companionship! Some company and a shoulder to cry on! It is a red flag also that he doesn't give you oral first - if it is mostly just you then it seems he likely isn't that into you and definitely not infatuated with you like some new couples experience!
Redhead14 Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 - we have had sleepovers since October. Started with one every couple of weeks, has started to become several a week – we have only had sex three times. after a huge fight and deciding to “take some space”, we haven’t had sex since – however, I usually give him oral when we’re together – occasionally, he will give me pleasure – His aunt makes us dinner whenever I’m over – We never hook up then I leave, he always wants me to sleep over – He texts me a lot and calls me at least twice a week – We both established that we do both have feelings for each other – He’s moving back in with his dad and is excited for me to meet him and his brother – Has had me over when he’s sick, and we have gone through times when we don’t do anything sexual These are just some of the bullet points of whatever this is. Back in November, he told me he thought we were more than FWB, but now that he’s getting some sort of sexual enjoyment whenever we’re together, I just start to wonder. All the "bullet points" you've listed above are positives in the "relationship". There must be some negatives and/or comments he's made perhaps that are causing you to ask this question. However, you do note that you've both said you have "feelings" for each other, but have you actually defined the relationship? If there aren't really any negatives and you are manufacturing things in your head because of insecurity, you need to step back and look at the relationship as whole. Above you said, you've been together at times when you two didn't become sexual . . . why are you now stating that you are starting to wonder whether he's just in it because he's getting sexual enjoyment? There is a contradiction here. It appears to me that you have not communicated well between each other and it's time to define things. He told you that he thought you were more than FWB, ask him what he thinks you two are.
PegNosePete Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Why don't you ask him? Communication is vital in any relationship.
elaine567 Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 All bullet points you posted sound OK for a budding relationship but this - He told me if another guy asks me out, I should go even though he'd be hurt but he doesn't want to hold me back from anything. I guess means you are only a FWB to him. If he had another girl you would be gutted, yes but despite having sex with him you haven't the exclusivity talk. That is madness. If you are sleeping with him you need to know if he is seeing other girls too, as that can affect YOUR health. I don't mean the commitment talk or "I love you, do you love me too?" talk or the "Will you marry me?" talk, I mean the sexual exclusivity talk.
Recommended Posts